Feel like I'm losing friends

[Xelha]

This has been bugging me a lot in recent years. It started after high school when I had ended on a really high note, having had quite a few more friends during those last few months of high school than ever before.

 

Then I went to a university different from all of them(3 hours away from my hometown) and I feel like I'm losing contact with a lot of them, even my closest friends. A lot of them have changed and I don't want to continue being their friend, but others I just have few opportunities to see/speak to. Nowadays I feel like we've developed separate lives and can't even really relate to each other anymore. It's kind of sad.

 

In class I'd say I'm quite open to making new friends. I talk with a lot of the people there, and try to accept any invitations to go eat lunch with them or do something after school. In spite of it all, however, I find it difficult to make it past being just acquaintances. It also doesn't really help that I'm moving around a bit these days(last year I spent the whole year away and I plan on moving again after this year).

 

I guess this is more of a rant than anything else, but it's bugging me that that "best friend" figure constantly seems to be absent in my life these last few years. Even the close online friends I had that I used to confide in no longer care to talk to me. It's frustrating.

[Curious-One]

I am kinda in the same situation now.. i feel i am kinda drifting apart with my friends even the two close friends that i have known since elementary school. I have always been the one that kept us close and hanging out, i would always arrange things to do for us but now it seems like they can never do stuff when i invite them. To make it even worse , when i do spend time with them i get frustrated with them saying they will do stuff that they never do.

 

As with college again i am in the same boat. I am very social and in class and make friends quick but we never become close friends..

[quankanne]

it's all cyclical, hinging on changes going through your life; best thing to do is keep yourself open to potential friendships in anything you do, be it school or a favorite past time, you never know where the other half of you is waiting!

[Boundary Problem]

I think losing friends is part of growing up.

 

Peole move in and out of your life. But if they are people that share similar values (can be a different life path) then I find when you reach out to each other over the years - you still have lots in common - because you respect each other.

 

 

I recently joined Facebook and instantly was reconnected with my elementary school class. I had two best friends in elementary school. In the past month, one has become a best friend to me again. The other did something bad on Facebook to me recently and now I realize that perhaps she was never a true friend to begin with.

 

 

Time will tell on who your true friends are.

 

The whole "having a best friend" thing - is overrated. If you have different friends for different types of enjoyable activities, then you avoid "needing" a best friend.

 

Becoming close friends with someone takes about 5 years in my opinion before you feel you could really share anything. So make some good picks and then invest in them is my advice. That is how you move from acquaintance to friend. Reciprocate invitations like a tennis match.

[therahul19]

Learn to start right- Girls are used to that old standard hi or hello; Girls expect better talks from guys now. Most guys get the wrong opening statement or line and this is the main reason why they are not effective in talking to girls. Always open up with something extraordinary which would catch her attention. Girls would never continue talking to you unless they feel there is something distinct about you or your personality.