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Old 8th May 2003, 1:19 PM   #1
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she's leaving

Today after I started work,I found out my friend is leaving.We've been real close.She's moving to Spain.I got real emotional and started crying.She kept telling me not to cry but I could not hold the tears back.When things like this happen,Im just not strong.I will miss seeing her there.I do have a hard time conrolling my emotions and cry when Im sad about things.

Im going to give her my address and phone number so we can keep in touch.

Patty
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Old 8th May 2003, 1:24 PM   #2
yes
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well

I think it's OK to cry a bit when a really close friend is moving all the way to Spain. Just be happy for her, wish her luck, and like you said, keep in touch.

One thing though... if you're close friends, how come she doesn't already have your phone number?

-yes
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Old 8th May 2003, 1:45 PM   #3
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We never really exchanged phone numbers.We were just close at work.I dont even know why.But I just feel like giving it to her.I call her my best friend cause she just feels like one to me.

Patty
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Old 9th May 2003, 7:39 PM   #4
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cant stop crying

I know Ive mentioned this yesterday.But I cant stop crying ever since I heard my friend is leaving work.I thought I'd be over it by now but I still keep crying.I didnt cry at work today,cause I didnt want her to see me crying,but when I got home I let it all out.When Im at work,I try to control it but sometimes I dont.I wish I could stop crying but its very hard.She was funny and will miss it so much.I had a hard time sleeping last night thinking about her leaving.I known her for a long time.It just hard.I have moments when I cry alot thinking about it.

I gave her my address and she told me she would bring in hers tommorow.

Patty
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Old 9th May 2003, 7:47 PM   #5
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Crying is healthy when you are sad...as long as it's not excessive. It's OK to be sad that a friend you love is moving but if you really love her you will be happy that she is moving on to something she wants to do.

Life is a continuous set of losses and gains. Friends come into our lives and others move on to other things. It's something you have to face. The best way to do that is to value each minute you spend with the people you love. When they move away, you'll have no regrets because you made the best of their time with you.
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Old 9th May 2003, 8:05 PM   #6
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Thanks.

Thats very true.Very well said.

Patty
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Old 14th May 2003, 10:51 PM   #7
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update on friend

This week is real tough on me.Knowing my best friend at work is leaving on Saturday.The farewell party will be very hard for me.Im not even looking forward to it.Im not to good at farewell parties.I wish they could just skip that part.

I worry that she will forget about me once she leaves.But knowing she got my address is a little bit of hope for me to hold on too.She doesnt know where shes staying but said she would write as soon as she settles.I hope so!

As much as I didnt want to eat cause I was depressed,I did and I usually dont eat when Im depressed.

I hope she writes.

Patty
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Old 17th May 2003, 12:34 PM   #8
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i will always remember this moment

Today at work was a real emotinal day.My friend that I was talking about in my earlier post that was leaving broke down and cried.I started crying and everyone at work was crying.Then I went over and held her and I started crying.She said to me "I love you" I said the same thing back to her.I wanted to hold her forever.It was so hard for me to see her crying and it tore me apart.Then the rest of the day I was crying so much that I couldnt even do my job.I was just real torn up after seeing that.It was the hardest thing in the world for me to see her leave.We both got really tearful and emotional and held each other. She gave me a kiss and I gave her a kiss.It was so hard to let go.

I will think about this moment all the time and how painful it was for the both of us.It was hard for her and me.But when she writes to me Im going to ask her if she would like to come over my place and spend a week with me.I gave her my phone number but I dont know if she will call cause of long distance to Spain.

I just know I'll never be the same again after what happened today.Work wont be the same either.Right now I feel like hopping in a plane and going to Spain with her.

I dont think I'll ever feel better again after what happened today.I keep having flashbacks in my mind of the way she left and the way I saw her crying.

It was the hardest thing in the world to let go.I wanted to hold her forever.I just want to be with her and wish this was just a dream.

Patty
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Old 17th May 2003, 1:01 PM   #9
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??

Goodness, Patty..you need to cut the drama here, and get ahold of yourself. We're not talking about your b/f moving across the world, or a close family member leaving planet earth in a space shuttle...we're talking about a friend from work (who you admit you didn't have anything to do with outside of work) moving away. People move away all the time. Surely it's not such a life-shattering thing that you're going to be so emotional and torn up at work that you can't even do your job (and you keep this up, you'll be losing your job because work isn't a place to bring your personal life/problems).

I don't get all the drama here.....this is an acquaintance from work. Someone you worked with but it's not like you were best friends and spent tons of free time together, outside of work. What's with you making such a big deal about her moving away? The way you wrote your post, it sounds like she was your lover or something. Very strange.
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Old 17th May 2003, 1:17 PM   #10
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Um what? EXCUSE ME??????? I can still be close to someone and not it be my lover.It was hard for her too and that doesnt make it me her lover.JUST CAUSE I BROUGHT THIS UP DOES NOT MEAN IM CAUSING ANY DRAMA HERE.FOR PEACE SAKES GIVE ME A BREAK FOR ONCE.

IM SICK OF YOU CUTTING ME DOWN.I HAVE BEEN VERY DEPRESSED AND IM SORRY I will COME HERE AND POST IF I NEED TO. GOING TO TALK AND GET IT OUT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.MY THERAPIST HAS TOLD ME IT WAS OK TO FEEL LIKE THIS.EVERY TIME I POST SOMETHING.IM NOT SAYING YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME OR ANYTHING>BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM MAD AT ME WHEN I COME HERE TO GET SOMETHING OFF MY SHOULDERS>WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO? I KNOW YOUR SICK OF HEARING ME>NOW I FEEL WORSE.

ONE DAY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND IF YOU HAVE TO LEAVE SOMEONE THAT WAS CLOSE TO YOU.GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZ

Patty
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Old 17th May 2003, 1:25 PM   #11
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?

oh fer crissakes, Patty, stop with the hissy fit and the drama. You've posted numerous threads about this 'friend' of yours moving away.....from the time you learned she was leaving, to in between, to now. Unless she was your lover or best friend for years, I don't see what all the drama is about. Going on and on about how you'll remember this moment forever, bla bla. Are you looking for sympathy or something? We've all had people we cared about move away or leave. Some have lost their parents or siblings to death, some have lost their spouses, all kinds of different scenarios. We feel sad, we remember the good memories and we move on...and we wish the best for them. If you're that worked up and emotional because an acquaintance at work moves away, how are you going to deal with anything else in your life? This gal wasn't someone you were in a relationship with, right? So I really don't get all the drama here. You even admitted that you've never had anything to do with her outside of work..so how 'great' of friends could you have been? Christ, there's such a lot of drama on here lately. So many victims, so much drama. So many people flipping out when they don't like the responses they get. It's like freakin' kindergarten, and not an adult relationship forum.
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Old 17th May 2003, 1:45 PM   #12
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SHE HAS TREATED ME LIKE A FRIEND THATS THE ONLY REASON I CALL HER A FRIEND.WE HAD A BOND OR SHOULD I SAY FRIENDSHIP>HMMMM HOW WOULD I WANT TO SAY IT? WELL I WOULDNT SAY BOND CAUSE THEN YOUR GOING TO GO THINK IM CREATING DRAMA.

WELL I GOT TO WATCH EVERYTHING I SAY AROUND HERE AND ITS NOT WORTH IT ANYMORE>

I CANT SPEAK HERE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE CAN WITHOUT YOU INSULTING ME.

IM SORRY FOR TALKING.

OH NO I NEVER COME FOR SYMPATHY.THATS THE LAST THING ILl DO.

I FORGET THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO COME HERE TO SPEAK ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE>

I REALLY DONT NEED THIS IM DEPRESSED AS IT IS AND IM NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY.

Patty

GO AHEAD AND SAY THAT IM CREATING DRAMA IF YOU WANT>IF THATS WHAT YOU LIKE TO SAY ABOUT ME GO RIGHT AHEAD.

IM NOT ARGUING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE.I CANT BE MYSELF HERE.SO IM BETTER OFF NNOT TO COME.

GO AHEASD AND SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT ME.
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Old 17th May 2003, 1:50 PM   #13
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To: JustAGirl2

I think people own their feelings and they have an absolute right to them, however inappropriate or exagerated others may feel they are.

There are people on the planet like Patty who are extremely sensitive. Because they have special attributes, it's not often they connect with another person in a meaningful and mutual way. While many are able to get out into the world and grab friends rather quickly, there are some who can't.

While I think it's unfortunate that Patty has to feel her world is over because of her loss, for her it's very legitimate. I'm very sorry you can't find it in your heart to leave her alone with her grief and sorrow rather than plow her into the ground for it.

In most cases, I would agree with what you have written. But as regards Patty, I'm sorry you chose to deal with this the way you did.

It would have been better had you not responded to her post at all. As you know, Patty has her shortcomings and, while I agree we don't need to get sucked into them, I don't think we ought to tear her up for not being as emotionally with it as some others.

You should be thrilled that life has dealt you a better hand of cards than some other people.
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Old 17th May 2003, 2:23 PM   #14
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Hmm, okay

If ya can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. If people, for whatever reason, are so hypersensitive and fragile, perhaps they should stay away from public forums where they open themselves up to whatever responses they get. You've chewed Patty out in the past, big time, Tony.....but it seems you've forgotten that.

Who said life has dealt me a better hand? You don't know anything about my life, do you? I am a very sensitive person, quite emotional and things tug at my heart very easily.....but I simply don't see the need to run to an internet relationship forum each day and cry and snivel and complain and write these carbon-copy tear-filled ditties about every sad or disappointing thing I encountered throughout the day or week. I have lots of occasions where I'm deeply hurt by things people say to me (family, friends, the like).....and I'd be a liar if I said there weren't times that I didn't just start crying (to myself, not in the middle of work, of course) and feeling very empty.....but I buck up and accept life for what it is and for what it isn't. And I think a lot of these forums simply provide breeding grounds for perpetual 'victims' who seem to think that crying and b*tching every time someone farts in the wrong direction is a healthy thing...

Hey, if you and others want to further enable the victims, that's your prerogative, but I know I'm not alone in saying that the calibre of this place is really starting to go downhill. So much sucky sugar-coating and having to walk on eggshells and getting chastized for speaking one's mind...it's just growing really tiresome.

If someone is so fragile that they have to spaz out on a continous basis, perhaps this place simply isn't the appropriate substitute for the professional help they need.

I belong to a couple other relationship forums....where people are all adults....and people responding aren't constantly chastized and censored......and if there's a disagreement, the moderators and admin don't jump in there and delete things...they let people speak their mind and eventually, people sort things out for themselves and come to some kind of resolution.

There's just far too many extremely dysfunctional people on here...regulars who sorely need to get a clue, and I'm thinkin' it's time I leave this place and stick to the forums where the stable adults can have mature, stimulating discussions.
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Old 17th May 2003, 3:13 PM   #15
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YOU WRITE: "...I'm thinkin' it's time I leave this place and stick to the forums where the stable adults can have mature, stimulating discussions."

Sounds like you're onto something. Meanwhile, I hope you will reconsider being more understanding and sensitive toward people who are emotionally, mentally and/or intellectually challenged such as Patty has admitted in the past to being in her posts here. The least you could do for her is to ignore her rather than attack her for the limitations that were given her by nature and not by her choice.

Patty needs us. You obviously don't.
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