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Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 10th April 2003, 9:40 PM   #1
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worried

I have a pen pal friend from Georgia that hasnt written to me and its been about 4 months and Im really worried.I just wrote to her again last month asking her if she got my letter.And I told her in the letter that I was very worried and hoping she was ok.And I went to get my mail today still havent heard from her.But this has been the longest time ever that she hasnt written.What do I do? Im very concerned and worried.

Patty
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Old 10th April 2003, 10:05 PM   #2
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Well, Patty, we all go through these kinds of things. Nothing is forever. As with every pen pal, sooner or later a letter you get will be the last. Almost never will a pen pal write and say this is the last letter you'll be getting from me. They just stop writing...and that's it.

Pen pals are generally situational or temporary pals. At the time they start writing you, time and circumstances in their life are such that they get something from the experience. As life moves on, they get jobs, start dating, get sick, move or other things happen that make them turn their interest away from writing letters and onto new and different adventures in life.

Be happy for the nice exchange of writing that you had. Some of these will last a very long time, some may even turn into lifetime friendships, but for the most part they end just like your's did. Maybe sometime in the future this pen pal may need you again and you'll hear from her. Right now, just leave it be and move on yourself. Don't be worried.

This is just a part of life you have to get used to. And it's not just pen pals who do this. Even people you see every day, work with, etc. can move themselves out of your life overnight...without saying goodbye. It's just the way things work sometimes.

No, it doesn't make us feel very good...but it happens and you have to accept it.
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Old 10th April 2003, 10:22 PM   #3
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Thanks Tony.I guess as hard as it will be,I'll have to move on.But always in the back of my mind, I'll always wonder what happened.I'll try to keep myself busy.

Patty
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Old 19th April 2003, 3:40 PM   #4
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update on friend

I just heard from my pen friend today that I havent heard in a long time.And she explained that she had been busy getting ready to move to Florida and is getting married.And she said she will still be writing and keeping the friendship even though shes moving.

Now I can sleep better knowing she is ok!

Patty
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Old 19th April 2003, 3:50 PM   #5
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You have to learn to sleep fine even if you don't hear from her for very long periods. If she's getting ready to move and get married she will be extremely busy for quite some time.

Don't depend on what others do or don't do for your happiness. That's a good way to get into BIG trouble.
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Old 19th April 2003, 5:36 PM   #6
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Quote:
You have to learn to sleep fine even if you don't hear from her for very long periods. If she's getting ready to move and get married she will be extremely busy for quite some time.

Don't depend on what others do or don't do for your happiness. That's a good way to get into BIG trouble.
What trouble? I dont depend on others for my happiness.Tony all I was doing is bringing up the good news.Cause I was excited about it.It has nothing to do with depending on others for happiness.If you can give me a little more details on your last paragragh to help me understand what you meant.Maybe Im misunderstanding it.But if you were saying I was depending on others for my happiness that is not true.It is a hobby I enjoy and I believe we look for each others happiness cause its part of the hobby.Please explain what you meant.Thanks.Please be happy for me Tony.

Patty

Last edited by Patty; 19th April 2003 at 5:39 PM..
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Old 19th April 2003, 5:44 PM   #7
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to patty...

you said that you can sleep well now that you know she's OK. meaning you coudln't sleep well before this. meaning knowing she's OK was necessary for your happiness. meaning you were depending on her for happiness...

that's what i think tony meant =)

-yes
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Old 19th April 2003, 5:46 PM   #8
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Oh.Ok. I see what he means now.

Patty
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Old 19th April 2003, 6:57 PM   #9
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To: Patty

Just a few days ago you posted on how troubled and worried you were that you hadn't heard from this friend, who you considered a valued penpal. You were beside yourself and depressed that you hadn't gotten a letter for four months.

Now, do you understand what I was talking about?
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Old 19th April 2003, 7:01 PM   #10
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Yes Tony.I understand now.Sorry.

Patty
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