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How do I explain myself?


writergal

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Yesterday I went to the renaissance festival with my friend and her family, who go every year as a family tradition.

 

After being at the festival for an hour, I suddenly felt nauseous, my hands were clamy and I was full of anxiety. I had borrowed a dress costume from my friend's mother to wear over my jeans and a t-shirt b/c the temperature was only 65 degrees. So I didn't think I was overheated. Well, after 15 minutes, my symptoms got worse and I told my friend and her boyfriend that I was going to go home. I apologized profusely, embarassed that I couldn't think straight at the time.

 

Well, I suffer from hypoglycemia and ate 3 hard candies as I walked back to my car. Then I took off the costume dress and felt better, so I considered going back inside to the festival, but was so embarassed by my poor decision post-blood-sugar-crash (it was 70 when I tested it at my car), that I decided I would just drive back home the 30 miles to my apt.

 

This morning I texted my friend (she never answers her phone) and again apologized profusely for leaving. I got no response all day. So I left her a rather babblative voicemail a few minutes ago, trying to explain my embarassment combined with getting my period and having my blood sugar drop simultaneously while at the festival. Luckily I'd removed the costume dress before it would have been ruined. My car seat on the other hand, well, needs to be shampooed (gross, but a fact of life I'm afraid if you're a woman).

 

I haven't heard anything from my friend and I feel terrible about what happened yesterday. Sometimes I let my anxiety rule my choices when it comes to my hypoglycemia and I can't get my friends to understand that its actually a serious condition if not treated properly. And yesterday, I had hard candies with me and planned to eat at the festival, but I just felt so overwhelmed by my symptoms that rather than try to walk to the first aid station on the festival grounds (its 3 miles wide), I just panicked and drove home which took 60 minutes due to traffic on one of the highways I had to take.

 

Was I wrong to over-apologize to my friend? What should I have done differently? Normally, when I know I'll be walking around a lot, I prepare ahead and carry food with me. But this time, I thought "Oh, I'll just be there for 2 hours and go home, and I won't worry about my blood sugar levels" since we went after lunch time. I have no idea if my anxiety was blood-sugar related, due to my period (I just got it yesterday), or the stress of being overheated in a dress costume with clothes on underneath.

 

I feel like a complete flake-idiot. I'm worried my friend will think the same of me, and be genuinely mad for leaving the festival so soon as we got there (just an hour into the festival, not having seen much yet).

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Hi Writer.

To me, there are two separate things:

1. At the festival, you stopped thinking straight due to a medical condition.

Personally, I don't believe people need to feel badly about feeling sick or having an illness/disease so, for me, apologies for how one acts because of that seem entirely unnecessary.

 

2. You mismanaged your blood sugar levels to the point where it turned into an emergency situation, and became a source of embarrassment for you. To my understanding, this was entirely preventable if you had followed your dietary requirements well before you started feeling woozy.

 

If this happens often enough, then perhaps your friends are becoming somewhat exasperated.

If it is rare for you to allow your blood sugar levels to get out of hand, then perhaps your friends would more benefit from some real education/medical information than apologies. (Again, though, I don't think that symptoms and effects of illness require apologies.)

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The other thing is, if your friend and her family go togeher as a tradition, and you were joining them, it's not like you ended up leaving her alone, as if it were someting you planned to do together - just the two of you - and then you somehow abandoned her...

 

I wouldn't over-apologize. Be confident in your friendship and that she will understand. (But yes, as the other posters mentioned, if this is something that somewhat regularly interferes with your social interactions, you may want to consider a behavior change.)

 

I like your word: babblative...

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I did eat enough carbs before I met my friend. What I think contributed to my crash was getting my period. My doctor told me that once a month, women with hypoglycemia can have difficulty keeping their blood sugars stable during menstruation. When the hormone levels elevate, its difficult to maintain stable blood glucose levels for women with hypoglycemia. Add to that, getting overheated from the heavy dress costume over my street clothes, not bringing enough snacks with me and you have a disaster waiting to happen.

 

I agree with you all. I should have known better since I have had this condition for nearly six months now. I need to address my anxiety with my doctor and nutritionist about what I should do when I plan on walking around for a few hours. Exercise also crashes my blood sugar and I normally carry rolls of lifesavers and powerbars with me in my purse. My friend doesnt know about my condition. I don't like talking about it with my friends and that is irresponsible, I admit. How could she have helped me if she didn't know about it? So this experience has shown me I need to modify my behavior and just take better care. And I need to tell me friends so they know what to expect.

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