i'mfaraway Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 I have at least one of those. This friend would be all chummy in person but you can almost never find her to hang out. The other day when I was arranging dinner with a few people, she was all excited about it. Then when the others couldn't make it, she disappeared, like the dinner suggestion never ever happened. She would also pick boys over girls. When she has nobody else to hang out with, she would call. Do you stay to deal or up and go? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 is this person really worth trying to keep a friendship up with, or just a kinda-sorta friend to begin with? i.e., if it's your best friend, give her a little more time (and talk to her about how it makes you feel when she flakes out) so that she can address that bad habit. If it's someone who is more of an acquaintence, don't feel bad about cutting ties with her. In my book, a true friend is someone who doesn't pull those kinds of stunts. as for the not contacting you unless there was no one else around for her to play with ... I'd tell her I had other plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Author i'mfaraway Posted August 23, 2009 Author Share Posted August 23, 2009 is this person really worth trying to keep a friendship up with, or just a kinda-sorta friend to begin with? i.e., if it's your best friend, give her a little more time (and talk to her about how it makes you feel when she flakes out) so that she can address that bad habit. If it's someone who is more of an acquaintence, don't feel bad about cutting ties with her. In my book, a true friend is someone who doesn't pull those kinds of stunts. as for the not contacting you unless there was no one else around for her to play with ... I'd tell her I had other plans. We've been friends for a while now so it's not just a kinda-sorta friend. But neither is she my best friend. Why would someone pull such stunts? Why can't they be sincere and treat people the way they deserve to be treated? I think I'm disappointed and leaning toward not trying because it's not the first time she's flaked out and I'm quite done trying. Link to post Share on other sites
kizik Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 You have to do decide what your non-negotiables are in a friendship. I can't stand flaky people, and don't call friends who have been flaky in the past anymore. I apply The Golden Rule to friendships and don't hesitate to retreat from a bad one. It's important to develop and maintain standards for interpersonal conduct. Link to post Share on other sites
Author i'mfaraway Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 I'll not initiate any meet-up with her anymore. Since I posted the thread, she's been only coming to me when she needs something. I've had it. I'm really quite angry with it. Maybe the next time I see her, I would say something. Though I don't know when we'll see each other since I won't initiate and she's she. Nevermind. I'm wasting too much time being mad with her. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted August 30, 2009 Share Posted August 30, 2009 Some of my not-so-close friends probably call me flakey. These are work friends or just passing friends who are always asking me to lunch, after work drinks etc. I have no time and don't like doing many of the things they like and I am honest about it. But they keep asking me over and over. So eventually I tell them, yep, will try to make it. It keeps them quiet instead of saying "oh come on, please come out, please please please" To my real friends who know me and understand my lifestyle, I'm far from a flake. Don't judge just by the cover Link to post Share on other sites
Author i'mfaraway Posted August 31, 2009 Author Share Posted August 31, 2009 Some of my not-so-close friends probably call me flakey. These are work friends or just passing friends who are always asking me to lunch, after work drinks etc. I have no time and don't like doing many of the things they like and I am honest about it. But they keep asking me over and over. So eventually I tell them, yep, will try to make it. It keeps them quiet instead of saying "oh come on, please come out, please please please" To my real friends who know me and understand my lifestyle, I'm far from a flake. Don't judge just by the cover No, I'm not judging by the cover. There's too much to go into about the friendship. She has time for other people (people she can have benefits from). And when she needs something, she comes to me. The case is a little different from yours. She doesn't even tell me she will try. She simply ignores. There are too many other examples but I don't think I should waste time going into them. She's just not worth my time and friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
RedDevil66 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 No' date=' I'm not judging by the cover. There's too much to go into about the friendship. She has time for other people (people she can have benefits from). And when she needs something, she comes to me. The case is a little different from yours. She doesn't even tell me she will try. She simply ignores. There are too many other examples but I don't think I should waste time going into them. She's just not worth my time and friendship.[/quote'] She sounds like a user. I would cut her off. But don't take it personally, she acts out of survival. Link to post Share on other sites
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