trojans10 Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 My Best friend and I have had a wierd relationship for the past 3-4 years. He is socially awkward around people, and sometimes around me. I am very similar but not nearly as bad. We would hang out nearly everyday, every weekend, when people were out partying we would go to movies, strip clubs, video games etc. When I got back from my first year at Uni. I sent him texts about 4-5x and he always said no, when i aksed to hang out. I told him to text me when he wanted to chill, but he didn't send one text? So far I havnt seen him all summer...been 3 months... I guess were not friends anymore? This was my only friend. ------------------------------------ My next problem is....im going to school in about a month and I have maybe one friend i can hang out with up there, and would like some input on how to make friends. I already have plenty of aquantinces but there all really awkard when I see them. Which makes me not want to go out at all, and stay home on the weekends. Pretty much I just need some help here. I have social anxiety and im trying to overcome it w/ out meds. Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted August 2, 2009 Share Posted August 2, 2009 Aahh mate that sucks. I too have troubles making friends at university, but at least I have my best friend (who doesn't go to the same one I go) but we still see each other every week and go bowling, play games etc. I'm not sure why your friend is avoiding you, have you tried calling to talk to him maybe? Maybe he is depressed. I know that I'm suffering from it, and so do a few of my other friends. You often don't even realize it till you look at your life in reflection. Do you have any other friend's you can call up and hang out with apart from this guy? Maybe people from high school? Uni is tough as I learned. Don't have many close friends at all, but it does make me feel better knowing that I have at least 1 person out of class I can talk to. I guess you don't really have that :/ Have you ever thought about joining a sports team? I've been playing basketball for about 8 years since I was 10 years old, and last season I met some really fantastic guys in my team, and now we are pretty good mates, and still playing together on Sunday evenings. Although I wouldn't say I was overly close with them as such, it's still a lot of fun to meet up with guys you like and just play some sport. Sorry this probably wasn't overly helpful, but I guess it's good to have someone to sympathize with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author trojans10 Posted August 2, 2009 Author Share Posted August 2, 2009 Well he started hanging out with some of the more popular guys at the school. There my good friends too, but I don't enjoy hanging out with them becasuse there all pretty fake friends. So pretty much he ditched me. Im kinda over it, just wanted to vent. Next year I plan on playing pick up bball at the gym and see where that leads me, hopefully I can make atleast one firend from that. Link to post Share on other sites
tblucky Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Next year I plan on playing pick up bball at the gym and see where that leads me, hopefully I can make atleast one firend from that. I think your situation is quite common since, to an extent, everyone wants to reach out more and feel accepted by others. I really respect that you acknowledge how you feel and are trying to take steps to improve your situation. I would not be discouraged if some things you do don't immediately payoff with friends. The process of making friends requires time and patience as you overcome fears and get better at connecting with people. Link to post Share on other sites
mighty_mouse_018 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I had a friend who was in a similar situation as you...I was his only friend and I was his best friend but the problem was he wasn't my best friend. I knew he didn't have any close friends other than myself and I felt a little sorry for him, so I was very inclined to spend time with him when he wanted to (even though I didn't have a strong liking for him). Eventually he just became too much for me because he wanted to spend so much time with me. He was getting annoying and clingy, stopping me from seeing other people. I didn't want to hurt him so I began making excuses when I didn't want to see him (bad mistake on my part). In the end he lashed out at me and got the message that I didn't consider him a close friend. I felt a little bad and probably just should have told him the truth...or ignored him hehe. We haven't spoken since he lashed out at me but I don't think I have really lost anything to be honest. I'm not saying that you two were not close friends or anything but is it possible that he wasn't as close to you as you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
tblucky Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 It is true that friendships need to be roughly balanced in terms of give and take. Link to post Share on other sites
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