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A problem to solve


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Sorry this is going to be kind of long, but I am in a quandary on how to deal with a now Ex-Friend:

 

16 1/2 years ago, I lost everything in the Northridge earthquake. Whilst living in my car, I found a cat with a broken leg. I took him to a vet and with the cast one, lived with me in my car for over four months. He has been my longest male relationship.

 

At the beginning of June, I had to take a 13-day trip for business. I asked three different friends to take care of my cat during my absence; feed, water, and administer important cancer medicine. The schedule for the friends was Friend #1 = four days, Friend #2 = five days, and Friend #3 = four days.

 

Friend #2 COMPLETELY FORGOT the responsibility and my cat went without food and water and meds for 5 days, which was discovered by Friend #3, when he started his stint. Now Friend #2 (now UN-Friend #2) tried to deflect blame, stating that the written instructions and schedule were confusing (but Friend #1 and #3 had no problems whatsoever with the instructions). To add insult to injury, Friend #2 had been announcing on Facebook that she was going to be house-sitting in the city and asking who might like to get together and party. So she just plain forgot.

 

The complicated part is that several years ago, Friend #2 purchased some of my artwork from me; two pieces totalling $1,000.00. I had borrowed one of the pieces back for an exhibit and she returned the second piece to me for repairs. I offered to purchase both pieces back and she refused, stating they "reminds [her] of past personal pain and continuing to live through emotional hardship." Whatever.

 

Two week later, she assented to the sale of one of the pieces (the one on exhibit) and I mailed her a $500 check. I still have the one which needs repair and she is still expecting it.

 

However -- and now it gets more complicated -- a month has passed after my trip and a recent visit to the vet has determined that the 5 days without the medicine caused significant damage and the cat now has to go in for surgery, to the tune of $1,000.00.

 

What to do? I wouldn't mind keeping the artwork which needs repair, but also think she has some responsibility towards the damage she has done to my cat.

 

I appreciate your thoughts...

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I'm sorry your cat's sick, but I don't think you should expect the friend to contribute to the bill - in the end it was your decision to trust the friend and you should have realised the risk or made sure they didn't forget. You could also have tried to find one of those places you can pay to look after your cat while you were away instead of relying on friends.

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Island Girl

They had a few of these types of cases on People's Court where the person was suing for damages done to pets or property when someone was to be responsible for house sitting and or pet sitting..

 

In all of the cases I can recall the owner of the pet and/or the house won.

 

I witnessed a civil case here locally where a pet sitter was taking care of a horse and never showed up for 6 days.

In that case the horse was still alive but needed veterinary care and the "sitter" had to pay over $6,000.00 for the bill.

 

You can file a civil suit and get your ducks in a row - but you'll still end up giving the painting back - you'll more than likely just get cash for the damages. Courts don't like the messy bartering system. See a lawyer who can advise you on putting evidence together.

 

Or you can write off the friendship, give her the painting back, and move on.

 

I am glad the cat is still alive and *angel kisses* to you for rescuing him and giving him a loving home.

I hope you two have many more years together.

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Island Girl is absolutely correct. In a court fo law, your friend would be made to pay. They accepted the responsibility and shirked it.

 

If your friend wanted to do right by you (and your kitty), they would at least split the bill with you. (If they had really wanted to do right by you they would have taken care of your cat...) I'm sorry you're having to deal with it.

 

I'm not sure what I would do about the painting. It is indeed friend#2's property. If you don't want to get in trouble with the law, you'd return it. Keeping it can only cause problems.

 

Treat the cat and painting as separate issues. I know they feel related (indeed they are, you've been messed around by the same person) but resist the urge to ransom the painting for the cat's medical bills.

 

I hope your cat is back to 100% soon.

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In the cases that Island Girl is talking about these people were probably paid to look after the pets professionally. In Carrie's case, this was just a friend asked to drop by and feed the pet. I think there is a difference. Sorry I think Carrie could have done more to ensure the cat was looked after properly. The friend sounds completely untrustworthy, so why would you leave the cat in such a person's care?

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Island Girl
In the cases that Island Girl is talking about these people were probably paid to look after the pets professionally. In Carrie's case, this was just a friend asked to drop by and feed the pet. I think there is a difference.

 

No they were friends in all cases - not professional pet sitters or house sitters.

 

They had agreed to care for their friends property and didn't.

Of course they were no longer friends after the fact. ;)

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In the cases that Island Girl is talking about these people were probably paid to look after the pets professionally. In Carrie's case, this was just a friend asked to drop by and feed the pet. I think there is a difference. Sorry I think Carrie could have done more to ensure the cat was looked after properly. The friend sounds completely untrustworthy, so why would you leave the cat in such a person's care?

 

I'm pretty sure if Carrie knew she was untrustworthy, she wouldn't have thought of given it to Friend #2.

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No they were friends in all cases - not professional pet sitters or house sitters.

 

They had agreed to care for their friends property and didn't.

Of course they were no longer friends after the fact. ;)

 

Oh ok, I didn't realise...it sounds strange to sue friends/ex-friends. I still think Carrie should have known the friends a lot better before entrusting them with her pet, but that's just me, clearly.

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Island Girl
Oh ok, I didn't realise...it sounds strange to sue friends/ex-friends. I still think Carrie should have known the friends a lot better before entrusting them with her pet, but that's just me, clearly.

 

The suits were all because there were resulting bills that were several hundred to thousands of dollars in damage and the 'friend' refused to accept responsibility (although they had agreed to be responsible).

 

And after such damage was done I don't think I could be friends with someone who'd do that either.

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  • 1 month later...

The law steps in where intrapersonal relationships break down.

 

CarrieT, what happened?

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If you're that desperate for the painting, I think you should try reasoning with Friend #2. Painting as payment for your cat's surgery. If she's still not willing to give it up (this must be some mighty fine artwork) bring in the possibility of going to court. Explain to her that she was supposed to be responsible for the 5 days you were gone, and that her neglect has now damaged your cat's health. Honestly, if that threat isn't enough, make her go to court. Your cat could have died, and it's not fair that she's not held accountable for her actions. Good luck and I'm really glad your kitty is okay. C=

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