CallMeKizzy Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 so..ive been friends with my male 'bestfriend' for about...2yrs. up until my last semester in college ive noticed we had been growing apart. he failed out, and i stayed.i admit i met new people and i grew, stronger and wiser. but i still love my best friend. there was nothing set between us that could break us up..i come home for the summer(09) and we have all been on this road of life trying and searching for what it is we want, and do. as we hit roadblocks together, i resort to God he resorts to drugs.(marjiuana) nothing unusual or bad i mean ive done it too. but for a whole week he ducked me out because he didnt want it to come between us, he claims im doing so much better then him..i admit yeah but im not better than anyone, i have issues problems, and everything. he goes to his cousins house which are the people who i believe are bringing him down. i dnt say much i let him do him. it just upsets me, i really just want to talkk to him and let him no its going to be ok. recently i dropped him off over there,and it was real awkward between us, i just dont understand, i was real non chalant and not talking because, i know hes better than that...that was friday its now sunday, and i ahvent heard from him, i message, text, and im just being ignored. i know maybe it might be time to let go, but i just cant.. he is my bestfriend i ever had. and it hurts so bad to know that he is ignoring me and not wanting to talk to me, idk what to do.. i get mad, im sad, and happy about it, idk..but more so i am sad... i just want to know wat is on his mind, and what is going on. even if our friendship has to end can it end on good terms...i luv him to much to let go Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Kizzy, I think what you do here is you be humble and gracious, you give gratitude for the friendship with which you were blessed, and then you let your friend go with love, acceptance, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and blessings. Those are qualities of the BEST "terms", yes? There isn't a better way to end anything. You don't even have to have words with him. You can do it all in your heart, from your emotional-spiritual aspects. It's about you setting healthy boundaries without judgment, blame or guilt. He doesn't have to be told. You just have to take care of you, from the inside out. And you can still hang-out and share with each other, it'll just be on an entirely different level than before. You guys were traveling the same road, and now you're not. It is life, as you say...a part of your individual growth, development, mission and purpose. There's a saying that goes, "Don't be sad that it's over; Be glad that it happened." I know it's difficult, but it is a nice way to end what once was a mutually rewarding and enriching relationship. At least, I think so Link to post Share on other sites
Author CallMeKizzy Posted June 12, 2009 Author Share Posted June 12, 2009 Everything is so wishy washy now. One minute he is cool, the next he acts really weird. idk. maybe the best thing for me to do is to let it go. THANK U FOR THE WONDERFUL ADVICE... Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 I had a similar experience with my best friend growing up. I'm still attached to her and our friendship but when I left home to go to school we started growing apart. We have different ideas about what success is and how to find happiness. Once I realized that I was able to love her for her differences and not in spite of them. Good luck. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CallMeKizzy Posted June 15, 2009 Author Share Posted June 15, 2009 I had a similar experience with my best friend growing up. I'm still attached to her and our friendship but when I left home to go to school we started growing apart. We have different ideas about what success is and how to find happiness. Once I realized that I was able to love her for her differences and not in spite of them. Good luck. It sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Yeah. it hurts so bad. and i do accept him for him, no matter wut he does im just being a friend..idk but thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted June 16, 2009 Share Posted June 16, 2009 I'm sorry to hear you're hurting. Accepting my friend's differences was the first step. After that I found I had to appreciate her perspective. I couldn't give her advice or sympathy when I didn't understand where she was coming from. Putting myself in her shoes felt weird and icky since we have almost totally opposite ideas of the meaning of life e.g. athiesm or Christianity, marriage/babies or career, etc. In a lot of ways it still turns my stomach to put myself in her shoes but we get along pretty well. I don't envy you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts