We are suppose to be " just friends"

[hellogoodbye2u]

Here is most of the whole story

 

Okay, so I will call him Justin. I met Justin when at work when I was 17 and he was 22 . We became friends were friends for over a year after I turned 18 we started dating for almost a year. Justin was my first everything. Until he, told me he needed to be alone and spend time with his daughter who was about to start school and broke up with me. I find out two weeks later justin starts dating a girl who pretended to be my friend. I stopped all contact with both.. I dated someone new. But, always felt I wanted him as a friend.

 

When Justin and that girl broke up we started talking... we hung out a couple times and hooked up. Then I started to date someone, who also used to work with us. He didn't want me talking for Justin so, I lied to the bf and told him I didn't talk to Justin. Until I had to actually stop talking to Justin. After that bf and I broke up . I waited 2 months to talk to Justin again. I wanted to make sure I really wanted him as my friend. We talked and we were fine and he got a gf... and I started seeing someone new. We actually became best friends.

 

We both became single and then started talking more until my birthday when we hooked up after that... we spent a year basically being a couple but with no tittle. because, he didn't want to be in a relationship. Then things started to change and he told me he just wanted to be friends and no more hooking up then told me he couldn't talk to me anymore he started talking to his ex wife and then they were gonna try and work it out and he couldn't talk to me anymore. He had to give up his best friend to try and work it out with the mother of his child. That lasted like 2 months. She just pretended to want to be with him to get me out of the picture.

 

So we started being friends again and then started to hook up. Things happened and now I've been living with him and his parents for over a month now. His whole family loves me and now thinks I'm just his best friend. But, for like the last 2 weeks we haven't been hooking up. And Now I found out why... I have bad habit of looking through his phone and found out he like someone in his class and wants to go out with her.That would explain the change in attitude.

 

This has been going on for 5 years. I can say, I'm not 100% in love with him like I was when I dated him when I was 18. But, I feel I'll always love him and we keep going back to each other. But, I know in my heart he's not what I want in a man. Since I could never trust him 120% seeing as he's basically a pathological liar. Who needs to lie to make his life seem awesome, since he has low selfsteem.

 

Now, I really don't want to him dating anyone while I'm living with him. I just wouldn't be able to handle that. Not unless I'm dating someone. I really don't want him dating anyone. Yes, I know that sounds selfish...

 

I'm not sure how to stop caring. I can't just move on since I'm living with him and the fact that every time he says, he doesn't want a relationship but always seem to be. It's just he doesn't want a relationship with me.

 

Anyone, have any opinions or advice? Thanks