Are we weird?

[Northland]

My friend and I (both female, and both 28yo) are the BEST of friends. We tell each other everything, and talk like 6-10 times on the phone everyday. We go out clubbing alot on the weekends, and when we are getting ready for clubbing we change in front of each other and walk around naked - its nothing to us. When we come home from clubing we both sleep in the same queensize bed (nothing sexual) and think nothing of it.

 

We have had our fights, and I mean big ones, ones where we wont speak to each other for a year or 6 months, and then when we get back together again, its like nothing has changed. I love her like my sister and I know that she loves me the same.

 

What we want to know is if anyone else has these types of friendships, or are we strange?

 

Thanks

[Tony T]

I don't think this is odd but don't be too surprised if one day your friend makes a lesbian-type pass at you.

 

It is pretty ordinary for high school female friends to behave this way but for 28-year-olds I would say your head is in a much different place than hers. You are two, grown women conducting yourselves like junior high or high school kids.

 

In and of itself, acting young is pretty terrific. But taking off clothes, running around naked and sleeping together at age 28 is something I would question in a very serious way. While it may seem harmless on the surface, there are underlying reasons why one or both of you is conducting yourself to this degree.

 

My bet is one or both of you may have a sexual identity crisis...or your friend is falling for you...maybe she doesn't know it but my bet is that she does. She may realize that you would not be inclined to share those type of feelings so she is going as absolutely far as she possibly can and enjoying it without you finding out she's gay or bisexual.

 

If I were you, I would slowly discontinue this practice and find a male with whom you can do the same thing...and maybe more...if you are so inclined in that direction.

 

If you are enjoying these episodes and are straight, hey...keep on keepin' on but watch out for yourself!!!

[Guest]

Although I sort of agree with what Tony said I must interject.

 

I had a best friend of 14 years. We met in Jr. High and became closer than 2 can be. But like you it felt like we were sisters. We changed in front of each other, when she'd sleep over it would be in the same bed (both clothed tho). In the mornings if we were in a mad rush to get to work, we'd shower together. While I was was soaping my hair she was under the water and vice versa. I can see how to an outsider this would look odd. But NEITHER of us had feelings like that towards the other.

 

Unfortunately she passed away a few years ago and I've never even considered acting that way with any other female friends. Granted we were not 28 but both high school grads and working adults so to speak.

 

Not sure if this is applicable, but her and I looked very similar and in school everyone assumed we were sisters... even before her and I ever met. It was odd.

[butterflyz]

for female friendships.

to change in front of each other yes...sleep in bed together - maybe in college or high school, but head to toe (head in line with the other's feet)

however you want to twist the explanations...be my guest, but you two are not the norm.

[HokeyReligions]

Northland, do you two date much? Double Date? Have either of you had serious relationships?

 

If you are questioning this behavior now, then it sounds like you are not so comfortable with it anymore. Maybe you realize that a relationship like that is best suited for teenagers and not grown women. Have you talked to your girl friend about it?

 

It doesn't mean to have to end the friendship - buy maybe start changing clothes in a different room and sleeping on the couch.

 

If you two actually were sisters it might be different. When my Aunt came to visit she would sleep with her sister (my mom) because we didn't have an extra bed or decent couch. Way-back-when, people used to share a bed because that's all there was to sleep on. Even hotels used to book two strangers in one room sometimes -- if the strangers were agreeable to sleeping with each other -- fully clothed though I'm sure!

[yes]

i don't think it's bad, but i think this kind of friendship would be in the way of your relationships with men.

 

so i think the main question here is ... do you both date men? how've your relationships with them been? any thoughts of getting married, having kids?

 

-yes