4givrnt4gtr Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Well, ive mentioned how bassically I lost one of my best friends due to me being totally immature and dealing with things in all the wrong ways (starting with having made out with him when I broke up with my now ex boyfriend the first time around). After that i told my now ex bf what happened. He bassically felt disrespected if i continued my friendship with my friend. I understood and despite not receiveing the love i wanted in that relationship i wanted to make it work. So after a while I told my friend I didnt feel comfortable continuing our friendship. He was very upset about it but my decision was made. Still deep inside i felt like It wasnt fair that i had to let go of a friend knowing that he and i would never touch again, whether i was in a relationship or not. Anyway, a few weeks later I broke it off with my bf. I felt i was giving too much and receiving too little. I then started trying to make amends to the people i may have distanced myself because of the relationship. I tried talking to my friend, apologized for being so dumb but explained that I was just trying to do the right thing at the time (as in, i didnt want to lie to my bf about being in contact with him). He said he didnt hate me but that he didnt know if he could be my friend again. I said I understood and i would feel the same in his place but that I wanted him to know that I would always be there for him no matter what. This was a few days ago and he hasnt contact me at all. I would like to call him or something but i dont want to pressure him. Should i let him contact me or should I try to contact him again? At the same time i dont want him to think i want more than friendship or that i have any other feelings for him, so thats another reason why im reticent to pressure for his friendship (when i said i felt uncomfortable he asked if i have feelings for him and that that was the reason why i felt so uncomfortable)...Im not sure what to do...any suggestions?? Link to post Share on other sites
Davey McG Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 Leave him for a while. Look at it from his perspective: 1. He's had feelings for you for a while. 2. While single, you make out with him 3. You then chose to be with your ex-boyfriend over him - in short you pick another man over him even though you were available. He probably still has these feelings for you. He almost definitely feels rejected and it might hurt too much to just be friends. Let him be for a while. It might take months, but leave him alone. He wants different things from you. Link to post Share on other sites
vintagecat Posted October 31, 2008 Share Posted October 31, 2008 I agree with Davey. Let him be. If you don't hear from him by mid December, send him a Christmas card and keep it light, no heavy messages. He needs to make first contact. This might not be a friendship that can be repaired, not everything can be. If he chooses to stay away, let it be and lesson learned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted October 31, 2008 Author Share Posted October 31, 2008 Well, i ended up texting him last night. A group of all our old friends are going out tonight for halloween. I know he likes the group, we were all very close for a few years, so I texted him asking him if he wanted to join us. He didnt answer so I wont be counting on it. I think I will let it be now. I tried, and I completely understand where he is coming from... It sucks, but you are right. A lesson learned. Link to post Share on other sites
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