Raina Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 Here's what happened. (Sorry if it looks a bit rushed but I'm writing it for the second time as my computer keeps getting weird and deleting everything. Don't you just hate when that happens?? Gah.) So me and my friend Anna were pretty late to catch a bus (we were visiting a colleague) and we decided that while Anna rushed to catch the bus and tell the bus driver to wait for us, I'd be buying our tickets. Anna threw money at me before start running. So I got the tickets, saved the money the guy gave me without checking and started running after Anna. We catched the bus but as we sat I looked at the money I was given and noticed i only had enough change for one of us. Anna said "the bastard only gave you your change!". We were pretty pissed at him but there was nothing we could do to fix it as we were already inside the bus. After some time I started thinking about the situation and feeling terrible about it. I saved the change in my pocket without thinking twice. I didn't even told her to have the money. Didn't even suggested to split it! I just kept it as it was mine. But it wasn't, was it? I mean, it's my fault that she didn't get her change, I was the one responsible for it, I was the one who didn't check the money. But I didn't know what could I do after the moment was gone to look good. It would be embarrassing for me to suddenly mention the situation again and I knew Anna would never take the money anyway after I saved it as mine. Am I overthinking here? I can't help feeling I STOLE her money and that she must be thinking I'm a really bad friend.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 9, 2008 Share Posted August 9, 2008 It would be embarrassing for me to suddenly mention the situation again and I knew Anna would never take the money anyway after I saved it as mine. Actually, it would be COURAGEOUS and HONEST to mention it again. (Honest to your own feelings and thoughts, most of all.) Just say that you were caught up in the moment of running for the bus and feeling pissed at the ticket guy. Tell her you don't like that, in that heated moment, you didn't consider her, and you are very sorry for not having more self-awareness in that moment, and offer her the full amount of what she is owed. It is NEVER a good idea to decide how someone else will or won't act. And even if Anna does not accept the money, it doesn't matter -- you will always know that you did the right thing. That's what counts, not how another person reacted to your gesture. This is not who you are. There were external factors that influenced how you acted. It doesn't even reflect on your social skills. (Just on your level of self-awareness.) You still do have the chance to BE who you are, and to make amends. Even if she doesn't accept your apology and/or the money, you at least acted how you truly are...and want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
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