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"Abusive" relationship...

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Old 3rd June 2008, 7:05 PM   #1
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Location: Northern Virginia
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"Abusive" relationship...

I've known my friend Amber for about 5 years. We dated for two and decided that we don't work out romantically but have remained best of friends and consider each other family.

She is has been dating John for about six months (I haven't really kept count) and refuses to admit how unhappy she is. Not only does the guy not have a car which she then has to drive him to and from work but he constantly picks meaningless fights with her on a daily basis (ie regards to when and where she eats, who her friends are, how late she hangs out with her friend Melissa). He doesn't have a license but continues irresponsible behavior with HER car (small accidents and reckless driving) resulting in a 30 day jail sentence.

If she wants to be with that guy then I'm fine with it, but here is where my issue comes in. I just found out that after a fight last night that while she was asleep he essentially raped her although not violently. She made me promise that if she told me I wouldn't get involved however I infureated by the idea of someone hurting someone to dear to me. Appearently this is not the first time this happened and I'm assuming this is the reason he has two kids and the reason why my friend was forced into an abortion (for health reasons) and lost one of your ovaries.

My question is this...Logically I can't see why she would put up with all of this. I am aware that women make decisions on emotion. However, he doesn't even support her emotionally. What are your opinions on my place in this?

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Old 4th June 2008, 1:11 PM   #2
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I'm a little confused *scrathes head*, mainly about the rape issue here. First of all, if she's asleep, how can she be raped w/o waking up? Unless she passed out or something from too much alcohol...? So, if the alcohol thing doesn't apply, did she tell him to stop and he refused...orrrr...? If she specifically told you she was raped and not to tell anyone, I don't care who it was, I would be telling SOMEONE who could do something about it. Is she afraid this guy is gonna hurt her if someone finds out? She's nuts if she stays w/someone so foolish, sorry. She needs to get a hold of herself and move on before things really start to fall apart ya know? Just my opinion here. I would stay away from her situation as much as you can, don't get yourself wrapped up in it, but like I said, if infact it was rape, I would tell someone before things get worse. Best of luck.
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.
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