anya85 Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 So I've been friends with this guy for a few years. We use to work together and saw each other and hung out at work pretty often, though nothing ever outside work. This was fine, it wasn't a big deal. We both have different jobs now, but lately we've been talking on the internet(he initiated and continues to intiate our contact.) Talking with him has been fun, I feel like we've gotten to know each other a lot better than we ever use too. The issue here is that he's started flirting with me lately. Playfully, but flirting nonetheless. Like he'll make a suggestive remark about us being together(as a couple, or kissing or something). Or he'll start asking me what I look for in a guy, then playfully act upset when what I say differs from his qualities. Or he'll start to show some jealousy when I talk about a guy. Lately though, a few of his comments did have sexual undertones. Then, he starts feeling guilty and apologizes for his behavior relentlessly because he has a girlfriend, which leads to a big long awkward talk(pretty much all him talking) about how he shouldn't have said this, it was inappropriate, he doesn't want to give me the "wrong idea" because he's "taken", etc, etc. Then, as soon as we get it cleared away and are joking again, he'll do it again! He'll start flirting. Like very obvious flirting(like how I "love" him and want to make out with him, blah blah blah) and a lot of it. It's like he can't control himself or make up his mind. He acknowledges what he's doing is wrong, then blatantly does it again, only to apologize yet again. What is going on with him?? He seems to be very confused and talks about having "terrible social skills" and how he "shouldn't have said that". He has made it very clear that he enjoys talking to me and wants to continue to be friends with me online. What is going on with him? All of his confusion is confusing me! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted February 15, 2008 Share Posted February 15, 2008 I think he likes you and wants to find out if you're interested. Sort of like a monkey jumping from vine/branch to vine/branch. He seems to be using you as emotional support and trying to turn the friendship to a relationship. You may have to tell him that you are not interested in a relationship with him and just lay down the law. Tell him you like him as a friend and that he has a GF who should be taking care of the emotional support and needs. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted February 17, 2008 Share Posted February 17, 2008 What is going on with him? He's flirting with another woman behind his girlfriend's back. You can stop this, but you've chosen not to. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
tigre Posted March 1, 2008 Share Posted March 1, 2008 I must say... that I am exactly the "guy in your story" in my story with a friend that I like her... I was her friend more than a year, and she supported me alot while I was breaking up with my ex.... I always like her but I didnt start flirting with her while I was with my ex... I hid my feelings for her a whole year and honestly it was a mistake. .... We almost broke in NYE because we fought because I got jealous but she started to have contact again after that. And last week we fought definetely ... I was starting to be more flirty and cocky with her and in a way she said also that she finds me phisically attractive, I think she started also to see me differently... In a pub I said to her that I would like to have a chance with her because we hang around really cool and then she sent back again to the friend zone.... Then I took the decision to quit completely and I tried to kiss her and she rejected me... Obviously I behave like an *******, but I dont want anymore to continue the torture of being in love with someone who does not. The point is that someone who feels in this way should be honest to quit completely or continue THE friendship without expecting and if you cannot do it, then QUIT all contact.... So if the is flirting you, you must stop him or open him the door, because once he started to flirt he will not stop. Link to post Share on other sites
sexyamy Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 It seems that he is falling for you because he found out what kind of person you are . Its up to you to decide his fate Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 3, 2008 Share Posted March 3, 2008 What is going on with him? All of his confusion is confusing me! So, if he was not with his GF, would you flirt back? Do you have any interest in him? If yes, be honest with him about it and tell him NC as long as he's attached. If no, again, be honest and tell him the flirting is inappropriate if your friendship is to continue. I have a feeling the current situation is making you both uncomfortable. Perhaps some NC while he works out his relationship could reset the clock for you two. Link to post Share on other sites
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