Friendship issues

[WhiteKnight]

I have to admit this is rather a delicate story so here goes as I need some ideas or something that would help me undestand what is going on from your point of views. I'm not sure what to do but let me share you what is going on for me.

 

Well the story goes like I have two friends, in between the three of us we were good friends and did socialise a lot. The two guys (myself and my online friend from the US) had dated the same woman but despite of all the issues of her being married and all, we decided to drop the past and learn from our mistakes to try and savor the friendship between us. As time wained over I left for a period of time to focus on my studies, which is fine of course.

 

I came back roughly a month or two later and found out that during a conversation with my friend from the US. He told me outright that he and my/his ex-gf are not on good terms with each other and they are not talking to each other much anymore like they used to. I was surprised about it at first and wasn't sure why.

 

So I thought you know to ask my online friend about it and he explained to me in a way like... that he heard from his friends or he found out himself that his/my ex-gf had felt like he was backstabbed, spoken harsh or bad things about him behind his back.

 

And then... when I responded "What the... she backstabbed you?"

 

My friend went with his response like... "Yeah " (and by that reaction I was sort of confused with the whole poking the tongue sign added to it)

 

My male friend felt like he was being used by the woman we used to enjoy and love talking to but it turns out to be that she had used him in a way to become an Administrator in some places of other clans that she socialises with. Also at the same time I felt like not bringing up the issue to my female friend because I don't think she should know that I know about it.

 

Judging from my male friend's words, I felt that our female friend had hurt him and betrayed his trust. Am I wrong to assume that? Or is it something else? I dunno, maybe I'm thinking too hard.

 

I know that I had hurt my ex-gf a few times but I got tired of her saying she wanted a friendship and whereas I changed my contact details to avoid her because I don't exactly 'trust' her still. My ex-gf, had a habit of trying to conceal the truth about her backstabbing or saying things that are not meant to be said about that person/individual.

 

So here I am, unsure right now about what type of friend is she really? I think she's power hungry and greedy but that is not certain. Also there is a part of thinking like, I remembered the times when I had backstabbed about her but stopped in the end because I did grow tired of her problems, and her asking me to act like a friend to her ... which I have but I didn't bother talking to her anymore and see how she wanted the friendship with me.

 

However obviously after I had changed my phone/mobile contact details without her knowing... I guess I made it clear to her about she should be focusing on her problems alone without my interference. Except I don't speak to her.

 

So my male friend is wondering why is it hard for her to speak to him or me in fact. But my general response was like... "I am not entirely certain but to have a good guess about it I think once a person who had hurt that person greatly or affected them somehow either if it was a strong manner or not. I suppose that the 'trust' in that person is gone, and they felt betrayed and also perhaps there is some regret however a true friend would never do that to them."

 

Any thoughts, suggestions or comments?

 

I'm going to ask in general, what you think about this and how do you think it should be approached.