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Old 29th April 2007, 1:07 AM   #1
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Nosy friends

Who would expect guys to be nosey?

You could consider it taking an interest in me as a person, but I consider it being nosey. Anytime I talk with someone on the phone, they'll always ask who it was, or what happened...or if I try to get a little breathing space and step away and talk in private, they will get in listening distance.

For that reason being, there are certain things I dont tell them - especially about me moving out...because I know if I do, they'll ask me how much Im making and how much I have in my savings..I have had other similar instances in which they asked. Or if I go to the bank to deposit a check, one of them will be snooping behind to see how much it is. And im pretty sure they talk about me when I'm not around - in a good or bad way i dont care. Probably just sharing the news about whats happening with me so everybody is up-to-date. I think they're interested in what's happening in my life, but they dont have the balls to ask me directly..which i find to be retarded.

Im not big on bragging, but if they ask Ill tell. If I have a story to tell about something stupid/funny that happened, ill share it. They really have nothing else better to do..

Does this happen to anyone?
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Old 29th April 2007, 5:56 AM   #2
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From my experiences I had people who are quite nosy about me as well. Especially my ex's to tell ya the truth.

So any guy or gal can be nosy... its weird and strange, yet it happens :/

Anyways to tell ya the truth, it depends on the situation though of what is really going on between you and that person. For me, I'm only nosy when I really need to know the truth about something to clarify whether my friend or ex is either telling me the truth or lying to me (This usually helps me to understand more about the person and build up the Trust as well).

For example if any of my ex's or friends do lie to me about certain things, like for example... "My husband/partner knows that I have been talking to you."

Usually when that is the case, my friends who talk to them, they are honest and sometimes can get nosy as in to why I want to find out about this person. However, a good example was my ex. Her friends that I and her know were talking to us in seperate chat windows, one of my close friends was talking to my ex on her via Skype, then they ask her to talk to me on voice and whenever she says that SHE IS.

I then tell my friends that she is not when I explain the part about my ex saying that the husband knows I'm talking to her online and when the truth does somehow unfold in the end, it will either get the answer you want or lead you to a good hint of what it could mean.

To tell ya the truth, I'm sick of being lied to and when my ex finally talks with me. I just say 'Sorry about this, I'm quite tired and I have to go... big day at University. Ttyl.'

Whenever I sign out, my ex actually asks her friends what happened and they tell the truth, then obviously I can suspect she had admitted she was lying to me. I don't hold many grudges against people who lie to me but all I can ask is honesty from people. That's my example of being nosy.

However an example of people being nosy about my private life...

Well it goes without saying, if people are interested about what you do and so forth. Obviously you might be wondering what their intensions are. Also if out of the blue they would get your contact details and so forth, they would be most interested about your personal lifestyle and what you are doing, who you are with etc.

Its annoying I know. Usually I get quite defensive and be overally protective about my private life and what happens to me because its none of their concern. Whenever I have my seldom friends or ex's and they ask me about myself, I just tell them straight that I'm doing well and things are okay. But if they are wondering who am I attached with etc... then that gets right into your own personal space.

I usually say things in a polite way that "With all due respect, that is none of your concern as I don't ask much about your private life either..." Sometimes people tend to hate me because I truly act like a solid... Introvert.

Well I think you get what I mean though, there are sometimes that you can trust in some of your friends to tell them something that is sacred. However, there are times that we can experience a bit too much nosiness when you don't talk to each other much. If this is the case, I don't think they are really your friends unless they are really concerned and care about you.

Friends who tend to be jealous or users deserve some respect to a level that you are okay being their friends and yet you would not tell them on things that would get them all hyped up over something that you have. Even if they act weird or emo etc, they might have a good reason but all I can say is to keep your distance from that.

Nosy people tend to be quite annoying at times but I give them a huge "MEH" (as in, whatever...), I may respect them but I just tell them outright that they shouldn't be nosy about your personal life if you don't want them to know about it.

Last edited by WhiteKnight; 29th April 2007 at 6:01 AM..
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Old 30th April 2007, 4:01 PM   #3
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Unhappy fake people

Why do women be friend other women they clearly cant stand? They show that they are jealous of you in every breath. Do they keep you close to hate on you better or to try an destroy the life you've built for yourself? Constant compliments to your face and backstabbing conversations behind your back. SO PHONY SO fake WHY DO WOMEN TURN OUT TO BE SO COMPETIVE INSTEAD OF EMBRACING EACH OHTERS STRENGHTS?
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Old 4th May 2007, 11:45 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhiteKnight View Post

I usually say things in a polite way that "With all due respect, that is none of your concern as I don't ask much about your private life either..." Sometimes people tend to hate me because I truly act like a solid... Introvert.
I agree, but in terms of prying into one's private life there's always a time and place for that...or there may not. But I think it depends on the type of friendship thats existing. I myself am a introvert at times, simply because I dont have the energy and have other things on my mind.
Quote:
Well I think you get what I mean though, there are sometimes that you can trust in some of your friends to tell them something that is sacred. However, there are times that we can experience a bit too much nosiness when you don't talk to each other much. If this is the case, I don't think they are really your friends unless they are really concerned and care about you.
True sincere friends arent the easiest to find. For that reason I'm choosy in the people who I call my friends and those I call my acquantance.

Quote:
Friends who tend to be jealous or users deserve some respect to a level that you are okay being their friends and yet you would not tell them on things that would get them all hyped up over something that you have. Even if they act weird or emo etc, they might have a good reason but all I can say is to keep your distance from that.
Usually I can differentiate from the users between true friends. But even so at times I do experience a little jealousy from my friends, which I think is only a natural part of human nature (the competitive side).

But today I again realized how childish my friends can be. I was out with a couple of friends and my boss called me on my cell...and when I was on the phone, my friend came up to it made some perverse noises...it drove me nuts, but friends dont hold grudges so i let it slide.

I can never talk about anything serious with these 2 friends or hardly take them serious for that matter, compared to my older/more mature friends.
They act so childish sometimes it makes me want to completely ditch them altogether. The only thing holding us together so far is the fact that we all love playing pool. But then again I suppose thats why people often have several friends - to divide and match up different aspects of our interests and personalities.
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Old 5th May 2007, 8:42 PM   #5
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Hey Mydish1, what you say is very true and I agree with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mydish1
I agree, but in terms of prying into one's private life there's always a time and place for that...or there may not. But I think it depends on the type of friendship thats existing. I myself am a introvert at times, simply because I dont have the energy and have other things on my mind.
Yea very true, I have found myself in that situation a few times. The best thing I've done was being honest about it, but being too honest about it can also contradict on what your reasons are.

The friendships wise is always very difficult, for example, if you have an EX partner or friend. Both are considered to be two types of situations where its delicate.

An EX partner, majority like 70% of the time or higher... there would be a lot of people who could not get along with their EX's anymore. Could not respect them or talk to them like they are used to etc.

However an EX friend, the friendship is working out to a certain level of trust between you and the other person.

In many ways you would find it that you and your EX wanted to become friends but everything you used to talk about when you were in a relationship was finally ended and slapped with a black mark on it. So you have to think of something better or new to say. Unfortunately this is where you run out of things to say and try to be quite neutral or nice to each other.

If a person responds with less than 6 words, they either all of a sudden don't want to know or talk to you anymore. Hence the conversations you used to share or talk about maybe had come back and become more painless for either one of you or both.

Having a person, either an EX partner or friend respond less than 6 words is quite bad I think. Depends on the type of discussion at the time as well. Sometimes they are either busy or just plain ignorant of you, who knows.

When I act like an Introvert, I sometimes share things to lighten the mood though. However, there would be many things on my mind at the time to concentrate and stay focus on something, like my studies at University for example. But if I was asked why I don't talk much, I just say that "Uniiversity life has taken most of my time and I don't have much of a social life like I used to..." (That shows you are being honest with them and want them to believe in that matter)

Now here is another thing, based on the nosy side of things.

For example, you and your friends had an argument. You block them on your chatting program and tend to avoid them for awhile in public. You had them blocked for 3 months and they ask about you.

Usually in that kind of situation, I just give the "That's strange, but I don't care what they have to say because they are just nosy on what I do lately. Its not my concern, they are not part of my life now. Let's leave it as that."

Sometimes when people miss each other, its alright to be nosy on certain things but there will always be something you don't want to talk about or give it in a short summary just to put them off or satisfy their curiousity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mydish1
Usually I can differentiate from the users between true friends. But even so at times I do experience a little jealousy from my friends, which I think is only a natural part of human nature (the competitive side).

But today I again realized how childish my friends can be. I was out with a couple of friends and my boss called me on my cell...and when I was on the phone, my friend came up to it made some perverse noises...it drove me nuts, but friends dont hold grudges so i let it slide.

I can never talk about anything serious with these 2 friends or hardly take them serious for that matter, compared to my older/more mature friends.
They act so childish sometimes it makes me want to completely ditch them altogether. The only thing holding us together so far is the fact that we all love playing pool. But then again I suppose thats why people often have several friends - to divide and match up different aspects of our interests and personalities.
Well I find it a little hard to tell the difference between a user friend, true friend, and a good friend.

Some of my friends (and ex gf's included) who act quite childish or silly at times really puts me off to be honest, most of the time I don't talk to them and let them intiate the conversation with me.

What I usually do is that I delete them off from my MSN list almost immeditately or within a few days gap to try and give them a second chance but if they continue to act childish with you, I just give them the flick and laugh after I had done it.

Sometimes they are funny but when most of the time they just give you "lol" or poking their tongues out a lot in a conversation. Its not a good conversation and even though they might not care about what you say, perhaps they are only pointing at you for someone to laugh at. It sickens me in a way, so I just kill the convo to be honest and just leave them.

In the end, I just blocked them overall and I had a friend of mine today saying that one of the people who I had blocked, she felt upset in a sense. But I shrugged off and didn't care less about it.

Dealing with USER friends, well, they tend to be nosy about my life in a way of knowing what's happening or going on lately in my life. Its none of their concern to be honest. User friends tend to ask you a favor to do something, I had a few people like that and also my ex's asking me to help out but I feel its not right in a way. One or two favor's is enough but when it becomes more common... then that might be different.

I hate being used anyways and user friends in the end tend to go away and leave you alone for a long period of time. Some ways good and bad but it depends how you want the friendship to continue in this way or not. Usually I just don't stay in touch with them, sometimes you have to learn 'enough is enough'.

Anyways, having several friends is good overall. Mind you, you can't just have all your friends are Users or nosy. If you have a good mixture, I think you are doing well with that. I'd rather stick around with people who I can get along with though.

Sometimes if friends act puzzled as in to why you have not stayed in touch or blocked them on your messenging programs and haven't learnt the reason why yet. Just tell them in a way of "leading to the truth" of how you feel when people talk to you in a way of using you or being nosy. I've done it, and boy didn't that make things worse for most of them. Their faces all turned pale because they knew exactly what I had said was true, after say about a month later. None of them have apologised or contacted me because on how I said the truth. So, when you are explaining it to your friend based on "why you don't talk to me much..." Just tell them straight without misleading the truth, never mislead your friend because its considered lying. Be honest about it and tell the nosy person upfront about it all.
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Old 5th May 2007, 10:47 PM   #6
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If someone asks you a nosey question..simply ask why do u want to know? or give oh well aren't u nosey even say it jokenly..they'll get the hint. Nosey friends just lead really boring lives and when co workers or complete strangers ask u nosey questions give vague answers..eventually they'll stop asking.
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