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close friends all in relationships!


orangehose

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Okay, so this is probably not a great or unique question, but I've hit my mid-twenties and all of my good friends are in semi-serious or serious relationships. They still occasionally do things with me (two in particular still hang out with me fairly regularly but that's because they're in LDRs). It's getting a little lonely on the weekends.

 

Also, I came out of a relationship recently and suspect that I'm trying to fill that time with more friendship time - except that I come out into the light of day and see that those friends are pretty busy anyway. I have some superficial "acquaintanceships" from grad school that I could try to develop into friendships, but they're all in relationships too. I was actually sitting around a small group class today and realizing that everyone else was in a long-term relationship.

 

I guess this comes down to another 'how to make single friends outside of school?' kind of question. I'm introverted and tend to make a few close friendships rather than plentiful acquaintances. In college that's exactly what I had - a couple of close single same-sex friends - and we hung out a lot. We had a deep connection that I didn't get even in my one relationship. In a sense, I feel that's what I'm now missing. But I suppose I need more help finding that - any advice (or "I've been there" kind of thing) would be appreciated.

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You sound like you have a lot going for you. I have no advice, except to say it could be a lot worse. I find it's always good to laugh at others' misery.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/6254763.stm

 

 

Ha, yes, the wife shortage... and people fear China is going to turn into this combustible ball of testosterone because of it.

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Ha, yes, the wife shortage... and people fear China is going to turn into this combustible ball of testosterone because of it.

That sounds like some orgy. Count me in!

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You're on the right track in terms of knowing that you need to expand your social circle. The long term relationships will start turning into marriages and then parenthood and moving to the suburbs or just drifting apart.

 

Pick an activity you've always wanted to try and start there. Take a class, say belly dancing, and get to know the people in your class. Suggest outings, like going to a middle eastern restaurant some night when they have belly dancers moving around the tables. Find out what else your classmates like to do - maybe you have other things in common, like going to see movies or whatever.

 

Then add another activity, say hiking or biking. Find a hiking group in your area and sign up.

 

Just start with one thing that you like and widen your circle from there. But you have to make overtures to people, rather than being shy and just running to class and running out.

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you just need to reorganise your life!

go out, meet new people who are like you, in the same situation.

so long you'll stay in the present circle of friends,you wont be feeling any better.

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