Grim Gram Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 Hi, I need advice on how to get over a crush. I can't seem to concentrate around this person. This has never happened to me before. I don't have a lot of experiences in relationships but I really feel uncomfortable with my reaction to this person because (1) We work together and (2) We are the same gender. I feel my work is being affected and I really need advice before I do something really stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
huz68qog Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 office romance is a big No-No, because for the most part they never work. don't bit of more than you can chew. ask youself is it worth the risk, do you want to be in a downlow office relationship. how are going to take it if things don't work-out, will this cause discomfort in your work environment. think about these things first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grim Gram Posted March 19, 2006 Author Share Posted March 19, 2006 I agree that office romances are a no-no. My problem is that I need advice on how to get over this crush. I feel so off-kilter. I tried ignoring this person whenever we pass in the hallway, I tried not to respond as I usually do to the friendly non-work related e-mails, I tried being indifferent whenever she needs help on something. But all in all, I felt miserable doing that because she is a really nice person and has no idea of the affect she has on me. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted March 19, 2006 Share Posted March 19, 2006 It rarely work out to fish in the company pond. There are too many pitfalls and it can have an extremely negative impact on your career. You have to get over it the same way you would with a non-coworker relationship. Minimize contact, keep everything pleasant but impersonal and get on with your life and your job. There's no magic pill. My wife and I met at work and were coworkers but I never asked her out until she's moved on to another agency. If I had, she wouldn't have accepted as long as we worked together. Link to post Share on other sites
Shindig Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 Everyone's different. Some crushes last 40 minutes, some last months. THe best thing is to get out and meet people. Hopefully you'll meet someone who you find more attractive than this particular person. Take up a new hobby, rock climbing, or a book club or maybe even start a casual bridge club with friends. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
babbah Posted March 21, 2006 Share Posted March 21, 2006 well, if you wanna get rid of it...try to keep yourself busy with other things and focus on it. Go out with others and open your door to meet new people. focus on your work. you can still talk to her but make sure it's WORK RELATED matters, aside from that...dont let the conversation start between the two of you. goodluck! Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I know a couple who worked together here at college and when they graduated they went and got married and got employed at the same place. As far as I know it's working out. Just saying it's not impossible. I think it has to be a situation where romance won't be a problem @ work and both of you like your job. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hi, I need advice on how to get over a crush. It would be nice for you if someone would actually address your plea instead of preaching about unrelated things. I recommend that you stop and observe that the fun in the crush has been how much you were making that other person important to you. Most of the awesome feelings you felt about the other person came not exactly from her actions but instead from things decided internally by you. Because of that, it goes without saying that if another social interest were to pass in close proximity you would have an easier time "getting over" this crush. Now of course nobody can make a new social interest appear on your horizon, but it should help to really observe how much of the crush, and the appeal of the one on whom you're crushing, origininated from within YOU. Once you accept that as being crystal clear, then perhaps you'll look around at others and really stop to notice their uniquenesses as you slowly alter your internal appreciation. Through that may come the chance that you might take interest in someone who can engage your mind directly and perhaps form a two-way admiration that could go somewhere for each of you. Most of the answers are within your own mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Grim Gram.... that username sounds like it could be a disguise for the guy at work that I am crushing on. Question: does she know? Also: don't you have a girlfriend? If you are who I think you are....then I definitely think you should make a move....before it's too late. N Link to post Share on other sites
Author Grim Gram Posted May 20, 2006 Author Share Posted May 20, 2006 Thanks to everyone for the advice. I'm still struggling with this crush, but I am able to cope. I'm taking up hobbies and interests again that have gathered dust since this crush. It's helping somewhat. I think given time, I'll either be over this crush or will be so well adept in hiding my feelings that I'll be able to maintain the semblance of friendship. To answer the last post from Guest: "Does she know?" God, I hope not! It's embarrassing enough that I feel so out of control as it is. If she does know, then I would hope that she would back off and give me a break. But that would imply that she's cruel by nature,... and I don't think she is. So, I am sure that she does not know and she just thinks that I fidget as a habit and that I often turn red as a result of my shyness. Also, she has a boyfriend. "Don't you have a girlfriend?" No, I don't. Never have. If you look back to my original post, I mentioned one of the reasons I have a problem with this crush was because we are of the same gender. Yeah, my world is a little off kilter because of it. I'm not going to make any moves. That would be insane. I'm determined to get back to whoever I was before this crush crossed my path. Link to post Share on other sites
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