Laika Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 I work in a shop and I've had a bit of trouble with one of the guys (let's call him simon) I work with with over the last few months- it's quite a long so please bear with me! When he started work at the shop last May (he got the job because his friend is the manager), there were about 6 girls working there and just 3 guys. About 4 of the girls had a problem with him immediately because they said he made them feel uncomfortable (i.e. talking about his past sexual relationships etc). Myself and one of the other girls, who are a bit older than everyone else, gave him a chance because it seems like his "past relationships" were fabricated and he seemed like a nice enough bloke just a bit insecure. our manager confirmed that the gf's were probably fabricated saying that he had known simon for years but had never known him to have a girlfriend. Anyway, I decided to give him a chance, and we actually got on quite well. The trouble started when I went out for a drink with him after work. I thought it was just a drink as friends. He had made a pass at me where he had said something along the lines that he knew he didn't have a chance but he thought I was really attractive and thought that we got on really well and could have a relationship. I let him down gently saying that I thought he was a nice person and got on well with him but that he wasn't my type and that wouldn't change. Things seemed ok and we were still friends after that. I went out with him again, making it clear it was as friends. However I found out from the other girls that he had been saying that we had gone out on a couple dates. I was so annoyed with him and backed off completely. Got on ok with him at work but said no when he asked me out. By october/november 5 of the girls had left, all citing that he was a factor why they didn't want to stay and one of them, B, had basically been pushed out when our manager had unjustifiably backed simon in a situation. Just after B left, simon and I had a major argument at work one evening. Basically he had criticised my work (which he is in no position to do) and when I said that he should look at himself before criticising anyone else, he gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night. I waited until we were closing the shop to confront him about his behaviour. After him unsuccessfully trying to say that it was me who was picking on him about his work he suddenly changed topic saying he didn't know where he stood with me and that i was basically prick teasing him. I was stuck in the shop with him until 11pm (we close at 10pm). The shop was locked and he was blocking the exit. I was scared but enraged as well. I managed to calm the situation down. When he calmed down he asked me not to tell our manager and then made a quip that when B had made a complaint it was her that left not him. This again enraged me but just wanted to get out of there so didn't say anything and just agreed. However, I did go and speak to the manager about it but simon had got there first. the manager did seem angry about simon's behaviour and since that night, we have thankfully never worked a single shift together. I did consider making a formal complaint against him, but my manager persauded me to try this course of action first. When I do see simon at work, he is very changeable depending on who he is working with. Sometimes he just ignores me, sometimes he's friendly. And sometimes he's inappropriate. When I went in one night to speak to one of the other guys, I had a cough and simon said "oohhh there will be no kissing for us tonight the" weird stuff like that. Anyway, recently I have found out from a couple of the new guys at work that he's been saying that I was the one coming onto him. That I was offering it on a plate to him and he was the one that turned me down. I am so offended and outraged! I really don't know how to handle this situation now. I know that some of the guys don't believe him but a couple who are close to him are really quite nasty to me (and surprise surprise those are the people he is with when he ignores me). I'm just disgusted by his behaviour. I don't want to leave my job because I like it. But I really need some advice as to put him in his place. Please help! Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2006 Share Posted February 28, 2006 You put him in his place by dealing with him coldly & professionally. I wouldn't worry too much about what he's telling other blokes in the shop. It sounds to me like people will suss him out anyway. btw - your Manger sounds like a right plonker! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Laika Posted March 2, 2006 Author Share Posted March 2, 2006 as you can tell i needed to let off a bit of steam! I will continue to act coldly, it's not my style to get mad. I'm just quite repulsed by the fact that that he's made up lies about me and the fact that no one has pulled him up on it (I'm not just talking about me but what he's done to the other girls and the fact there were claims of sexual harrassment from other girls at his former place of employment). Yes, my manager is a bit of plonker, but only out of laziness because he doesn't really want to have to deal with personnel issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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