Venn Posted June 17, 2019 Share Posted June 17, 2019 my 2 year cadetship program from a hydro powerplant just recently ended and am forced to look for a job again... since desperation set in, i looked for job to a lot of places and sent resumes like crazy at the time i had no job for a month, there were two job offers for me at the time... one was a coal powerplant with a cadetship training program with 6 months rigid training along with classes but there was no assurance of being hired as a regular even when we had good performance. the second job offer was in a feedmill plant good for regularization where there is a "training" before being deployed to the real job. the advantage was it was near to my place. the disadvantage was it was not is not a powerplant and not really a good career for engineers. the coal powerplant was good for a career since i am an electrical engineer but i was discouraged by the saying that there is no assurance that i will get hired, so like my instincts tell me, i chose the feedmill plant job since i will be sure to a regular. now here comes my regret... there is no actual training in the feedmill plant... just a week after the job, the position was fully turned over to me and a lot of things confused me at the time that i didn't understand yet and then theres my colleagues always scolding me for not doing this and that... etc. now observing in the coal powerplant cadetship program, they hired teachers and proper lectures on their cadetship program and proper hands on training and even doing little quizzes and submission of what they have learned on the cadetship program. now i wished i chose the coal power plant job instead of the feedmill plant job... it really hurt a lot knowing the regret that i felt on choosing the wrong job... but we need money anyway so i have to not regret and move on... i really wished i made a different choice back then.. like choosing the coal powerplant job instead of the feedmill one... where i will experience proper training, lectures, i still want to have the feeling that we are on a classroom before being released to the real world. any advices guys? it feels a lot like a heartbreak... maybe even more than a heartbreak... Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 maybe even more than a heartbreak... Perhaps you're confusing head and heart. Your current situation might be a headache, hard to see how it would be a heartbreak. It sounds like you've only been on this job a short period of time. I wonder what you could accomplish if you came in early, left late and applied yourself completely to learning the job ? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 You are an electrical engineer. You are a smart guy. The classes you took to earn that degree should have taught you to solve problems. The problem presented to you here is that you do not know how to do your job at the feedmill place. Instead of lamenting the fact that the coal plant hired teachers to lecture about the proper way to do the job, relish the fact that your employer thinks highly enough of your intellect that you should be able to watch & ask enough questions to figure it out. Then do the job. Do some independent research if you have to; reach back out to your professors from university. Take a colleague out to lunch & ask Qs. If you are not sure, ask Qs. Take notes about what the answer is so you will have a reference for next time. It's called on the job training. School is over. It's time to step up & prove that you are as smart as your degree promises you are. If you are that miserable, keep shopping your resume & for now just be grateful for the paycheck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cersei Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 How do you know so much about the job you did not take? Are you friends with someone at that company? Stop talking to them for now. Your focus needs to be on your job, not on someone else's. Give yourself a few more months to learn your job. Once you know it better you will perhaps be happy about the decision. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I don't see why you need teachers and lecturers. I never had them in any of my new jobs. Yes, I had no idea what I was doing half of the time for the first few months. Sometimes even up to a year depending on the complexity of the job. But you suck it up, apply yourself 110% and it will fall into place by immersion and reading (you can google at home and look through company's intranet). If you get really stuck, ask your manager and colleagues specific questions rather than to teach you a broader area. School days are over, your employer expects that you have completed the training. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) If you are that miserable, keep shopping your resume & for now just be grateful for the paycheck. I am planning to resign in 6 months since recently also I found out that I have anxiety issues and trouble of remembering things. in my 2 year cadet program, my supervisors were very forgiving since I am still a trainee and it was in the government too. Perhaps you're confusing head and heart. Your current situation might be a headache, hard to see how it would be a heartbreak. I don't know why it feels like my heart is aching maybe because of the regret that I felt. Or maybe because I am afraid to make mistakes along with my anxiety and forgetting things often and that they look up to me a lot because of my 2 year experience in my job and that my employer will start asking questions himself and wonder why I survived my other job and then they will start thinking maybe my other job was too easy because it was simply a cadetship program. How do you know so much about the job you did not take? Are you friends with someone at that company? Stop talking to them for now. Your focus needs to be on your job, not on someone else's. Give yourself a few more months to learn your job. Once you know it better you will perhaps be happy about the decision. I don't know because it is the first time I ever regretted entering a job during my first day. That instant feeling of regret of not fully knowing the workflow or responsibilities that you handle and then it's just your first week and immediately the duty is already turned over to you. Yes, I had no idea what I was doing half of the time for the first few months. Sometimes even up to a year depending on the complexity of the job. But you suck it up, apply yourself 110% and it will fall into place by immersion and reading (you can google at home and look through company's intranet). If you get really stuck, ask your manager and colleagues specific questions rather than to teach you a broader area. School days are over, your employer expects that you have completed the training. Have you ever tried going to a new job, and in the first week immediately the duty is turned over to you because one of your colleagues got promoted and a movement in the organization forces you to learn all by yourself to the point because there are new tasks everyday and not knowing what to do and there are people who are too busy to help you and just end up wanting to cry and want to quit? first time it ever happened to me. Edited June 18, 2019 by Venn Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Do not quit until you have another job. Get therapy to deal with your anxiety. Your therapist will tell you the best way to deal with anxiety is to get out of bed & conquer your fear. If you quit without another job you will lather yourself up into a defeatist mindset & you will never be able to go back to work. Don't shoot yourself in the foot that way. Your heart is aching due to your anxiety. Your anxiety is LYING to you. You are doing the job. You are probably doing it better then you think. Your anxiety makes every little criticism seem like the end of the world so you catastrophize everything which makes it worse then it is. The people who are commenting on your work are trying to teach you to make you better, not tear you down. Replacing you is an expensive p.i.t.a. They want you to succeed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) Do not quit until you have another job. Get therapy to deal with your anxiety. Your therapist will tell you the best way to deal with anxiety is to get out of bed & conquer your fear. If you quit without another job you will lather yourself up into a defeatist mindset & you will never be able to go back to work. Don't shoot yourself in the foot that way. Your heart is aching due to your anxiety. Your anxiety is LYING to you. You are doing the job. You are probably doing it better then you think. Your anxiety makes every little criticism seem like the end of the world so you catastrophize everything which makes it worse then it is. The people who are commenting on your work are trying to teach you to make you better, not tear you down. Replacing you is an expensive p.i.t.a. They want you to succeed. my forgetfulness increases when I get scared or when I am being anxious and/or the fear of doing something wrong at work. I tend to forget a lot specially the names since the feedmill plant is a large company and there are a lot of people working in it too. I suspect I might even have ADD since I procrastinate a lot and when I listen to voiced instructions I have a tendency to space out and everything people instruct to me goes out of the other ear and not absorbing on what they really say... basically I am bad at listening and I suspect I may have ADD or ADHD... it also has to deal with my career choice... I never wanted to become an engineer and actually wanted to be a web developer... a its just that in my teen years, it was my parents who chose my engineering career and they didn't want me to study computer science. At first I really didn't like me being an engineer but eventually I did kinda like it only at selected subjects. At the side, I started creating wordpress websites My only real wish was that I made a different career choice back then. Edited June 18, 2019 by Venn Link to post Share on other sites
ShiningMoon Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 You're not alone! I changed jobs about two months ago. I was very respected in my former job and knew almost everything inside out. I loved dealing with our clients as they made the job incredibly dynamic. I decided to leave a toxic management for a better paid job which is also not client facing. Two months in and everyday feels like a heartbreak. I thought it would slowly get better, but at this stage, I almost wish I had broken up with a man insted of putting up with this pain. I'm also stalking my former company online to see how its doing etc.. This is pretty much similar to my worst break-up. For some reason, I always get tears rolling down my eyes during the day at my new job. It's the same story everyday. I always get teary out of the blue every day thinking of my former job, clients etc.. It must be the novelty, building a new reputation and dealing with people who have no clue who you are. It's also dealing with leaving a network behind and an entire support system. Then again, when I look back at when I started my former job. It was a nightmare. People were rude, disrespectful and didn't want to cooperate. I wanted to quit every single day. My first day on the job, I had to deal with a shouting client to cover for someone who had messed up. Guess what? I lasted three years, became the best person they ever hired in that position (according to them) and that shouting client was devasted when I left! Things always turn around. I'm thinking of going to therapy again as I cannot continue like this any longer. This is not healthy. Going to therapy is my next and last resort before figuring out how I will proceed further with this job. If it gets better with therapy, great. If not, then I clearly need to look a something new. Hang in there, it will get better Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Everybody makes more mistakes when they are anxious or scared. When you go to this therapist have the person teach you about mindfulness & to teach you breathing techniques to calm yourself down. Self soothing is the best antidote. As for your career choice, do your job, collect a pay check. Then do your web development on the side as a hobby / side gig until you can get to a point where you can make a living doing web development. Then you can quit. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Have you ever tried going to a new job, and in the first week immediately the duty is turned over to you because one of your colleagues got promoted and a movement in the organization forces you to learn all by yourself to the point because there are new tasks everyday and not knowing what to do and there are people who are too busy to help you and just end up wanting to cry and want to quit? first time it ever happened to me. Some version of this happens to everyone in their career, especially in management or supervisory positions. You calm down, prioritize, ask questions, study and work harder than everyone else until you're up to speed and things are under control. What you don't do is freak out, dwell on the stress or feel sorry for yourself. That simply guarantees a negative result... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 Have you ever tried going to a new job, and in the first week immediately the duty is turned over to you because one of your colleagues got promoted and a movement in the organization forces you to learn all by yourself to the point because there are new tasks everyday and not knowing what to do and there are people who are too busy to help you and just end up wanting to cry and want to quit? first time it ever happened to me. Every job I ever had. In fact, if you don't feel this to some degree - you are settling. You probably think that everyone can see how bad you are. The thing is, they can't. They only see you as that new person. Don't tell people you are freaking out and they won't have clue. They are sitting there thinking about that argument they had with their wife last night. All you need to do is keep showing up and lay low while you observe and learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 19, 2019 Author Share Posted June 19, 2019 You're not alone! I changed jobs about two months ago. I was very respected in my former job and knew almost everything inside out. I loved dealing with our clients as they made the job incredibly dynamic. I decided to leave a toxic management for a better paid job which is also not client facing. Two months in and everyday feels like a heartbreak. I thought it would slowly get better, but at this stage, I almost wish I had broken up with a man insted of putting up with this pain. I'm also stalking my former company online to see how its doing etc.. This is pretty much similar to my worst break-up. For some reason, I always get tears rolling down my eyes during the day at my new job. It's the same story everyday. I always get teary out of the blue every day thinking of my former job, clients etc.. It must be the novelty, building a new reputation and dealing with people who have no clue who you are. It's also dealing with leaving a network behind and an entire support system. Then again, when I look back at when I started my former job. It was a nightmare. People were rude, disrespectful and didn't want to cooperate. I wanted to quit every single day. My first day on the job, I had to deal with a shouting client to cover for someone who had messed up. Guess what? I lasted three years, became the best person they ever hired in that position (according to them) and that shouting client was devasted when I left! Things always turn around. I'm thinking of going to therapy again as I cannot continue like this any longer. This is not healthy. Going to therapy is my next and last resort before figuring out how I will proceed further with this job. If it gets better with therapy, great. If not, then I clearly need to look a something new. Hang in there, it will get better So in your former job you lasted for three years... how long have you been in your new job? Everybody makes more mistakes when they are anxious or scared. When you go to this therapist have the person teach you about mindfulness & to teach you breathing techniques to calm yourself down. Self soothing is the best antidote. As for your career choice, do your job, collect a pay check. Then do your web development on the side as a hobby / side gig until you can get to a point where you can make a living doing web development. Then you can quit. that's what I really want to do.. except that my parents don't want me to quit since I am the eldest in the family and my sister is still reviewing for her board exams... I have a hard time doing my web development hobby since the work is tiring, in fact I am doing what I can to study the nature of my work.. my boss can't believe that its already been almost a month in and I still don't get what my work flow and responsibilities are and the degrading thing is that it is one of the easiest jobs in the company since all I do is assist and monitor feeds, feed hand-adds... it may sound simple but for someone who kinda acts like a person who has ADD, I have a hard time coping up and remembering things... and the trouble or problems we face are different everyday I don't know how to deal with it because I am used to routine work without having changes. Some version of this happens to everyone in their career, especially in management or supervisory positions. You calm down, prioritize, ask questions, study and work harder than everyone else until you're up to speed and things are under control. What you don't do is freak out, dwell on the stress or feel sorry for yourself. That simply guarantees a negative result... Mr. Lucky It's already a month in and I still don't know what the hell I am doing... and the others who have applied the same time as me are already independent on doing their work.. unlike me who still needs to be guided on what to do... the depression, anxiety and the feeling of pressure when everyone thought you were dependable, having good marks at class and have longer work experience than the fresh graduates that have the same job as me is killing me and I don't want to dissapoint. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 If you don't figure it out soon, the decision about this job may no longer be up to you, You may get fired. My first "real" job the one I got after I completed my degrees I got thrown straight into the deep end of the pool with no training. I came in to work that 1st Tuesday & was handed 5 matters to work on. Wednesday I was assigned an out of office inspection. Thursday morning I was assigned to monitor a fact finding inquiry; then I had to conduct (lead) one Thursday afternoon. Friday I had to make 3 presentations to outside vendors. Monday I had to make 2 more complicated presentations. I was sick to my stomach & terrified of screwing up but I did it. Later I found out the time lines for a newbie are generally 3-6 months before you are allowed to observe the fact finding inquiries & then you do that for another 3-6 months. After a year you get to conduct a small one. It takes 2+ years to be allowed to do the presentations I was expected to do that Friday & at least 4-5 years to be allowed to do the complicated presentations I did on Monday. Throughout all that time you would be allowed to shadow senior people & watch them do it. I got none of that. Remember I also only had 12-16 HOURS to prepare for these tasks. My employers simply didn't have the time or the human capital to teach me; they expected me to draw on my education, especially the ability to learn, & get the job done. Sometimes you just have to figure out how to swim without having your hand held. It's part of being a working adult 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 19, 2019 Share Posted June 19, 2019 that's what I really want to do.. except that my parents don't want me to quit since I am the eldest in the family and my sister is still reviewing for her board exams... So the problem is your parents? my boss can't believe that its already been almost a month in and I still don't get what my work flow and responsibilities are And the problem is your boss? Do you see a trend here? it may sound simple but for someone who kinda acts like a person who has ADD There's a big difference between acting like you have ADHD and having ADHD. Venn, you've done noting but post reasons why you can't succeed. Sometimes, being a successful working adult means finding reasons why you can. I guarantee you, the other job you were offered would have come with its own set of similar challenges, it's the way of the world. Have some patience and self-belief... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 If you don't figure it out soon, the decision about this job may no longer be up to you, You may get fired. Sometimes you just have to figure out how to swim without having your hand held. It's part of being a working adult any job that i liked would have been better except this... i was a teacher for a year in our local community college but my dad discouraged me because the paycheck is very small... i was a review specialist but i was very passionate about me teaching... i loved everything about it but my dad really wants me to work in a stable job where the paycheck is good and have very large responsibilities... he wants me to be challenged in life... at least in school as a teacher before if i do something wrong, its just the grades or small paperworks that are my mistakes... and maybe misinformation or wrong lectures that you give... nothing too disastrous... this on the other hand... my responsibility is making sure the hand-additives on the pelleting mill is correctly weighed in kilograms and has the correct version of ingredients... otherwise any wrong version of the ingredient or small stuff of the ingredient you will issue make give the wrong output of several metric tons of pellets resulting in gigantic losses to the company. So the problem is your parents? I guarantee you, the other job you were offered would have come with its own set of similar challenges, it's the way of the world. Have some patience and self-belief... maybe it has something to do with my passion... i really didn't want to become an engineer in the first place... but what I do like in my engineering field is to teach... i have been teaching for a year and really enjoyed it because there were some lectures during my student time that I haven't discovered yet and am willing to share to my students. It's just my father wants me to have a bigger role in my career (or he just wants me to have lots of money so that I dont have any money problems in the future). Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 It all has to do with your unwillingness to stand up to your father & follow your own dream. When you start being your own man -- whether a teacher or a web developer you will be happier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 20, 2019 Author Share Posted June 20, 2019 It all has to do with your unwillingness to stand up to your father & follow your own dream. When you start being your own man -- whether a teacher or a web developer you will be happier. that's why i was always being unhappy having him to always decide whats good for my future... he keeps saying that web developer jobs always changes and anytime any web developer out there could loose jobs at any time and might end up a long time not having any jobs at all... he is scared that when one day changes in technology happen, I wont have a job anymore and at that time, I haven't been using my engineering field for a long time, I might end up having no job at all and then end up at the streets... he also doesn't want me to be a teacher because the rate of the teachers specially in my country are very low.. basically he doesn't want me to end up being broke... what I also hate about my job is that I have to deal with the contractuals who carry sacks and buckets of the pellets and the ones bagging them and since they see me as a frail looking guy they can just mock around with me during my shift or at worst, don't listen to me at all even if I am their boss... basically they take advantage of my social anxiety so that when it's my shifts turn, they go into the lazy and relaxed mode because they see me as someone who didn't grow a spine. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 20, 2019 Share Posted June 20, 2019 It all has to do with your unwillingness to stand up to your father & follow your own dream. When you start being your own man -- whether a teacher or a web developer you will be happier. Venn, over the course of your life, you'll learn the above to be very true. Work to live or live to work, those are your choices. And a healthy relationship with your father evolves from him setting expectations to accepting outcomes, something only you can put into place. You haven't said how old you are but decisions we make in young adulthood have far-reaching consequences. It is possible to be happy and well-paid - is that the track you're on now? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 Venn, over the course of your life, you'll learn the above to be very true. Work to live or live to work, those are your choices. And a healthy relationship with your father evolves from him setting expectations to accepting outcomes, something only you can put into place. You haven't said how old you are but decisions we make in young adulthood have far-reaching consequences. It is possible to be happy and well-paid - is that the track you're on now? Mr. Lucky What I wanted was to be a teacher.. in my country,it has a very small rate but that rate is fine with me... it's just that my father is very competitive with his siblings because his siblings sons and daughters (which are my cousins) have very successful lives being engineers, accountants, nurses... he also discouraged me to be a web developer because the technology keeps changing and most web developer jobs don't last... web devs have to keep studying in order to catch up with the latest trends... and if they dont study, they lose jobs which my father is afraid although I know all these already and am still willing to learn more on the field. sucks that my passion and my job today are very far since I am just a checker or issuer of hand additives of chicken and hog pellets. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 sucks that my passion and my job today are very far since I am just a checker or issuer of hand additives of chicken and hog pellets. By choice. This isn't the army, you haven't been conscripted and no one has forced you. I know all these already and am still willing to learn more on the field. Then why aren't you? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 By choice. This isn't the army, you haven't been conscripted and no one has forced you. Then why aren't you? Mr. Lucky it wasn't my choice actually... it was my father who wanted me to be on the engineering field. when my 2 year cadetship was over, i was planning on studying on web development for a while... I saved up on money so I could do that if for example I will be jobless for a few months.. but nope.. before my contract expired in my 2 year job, just a month before that my father wanted me to apply to jobs already... so I applied to jobs like crazy and one of the companies that I applied to was the feedmill plant... I was like God... why did I do this? the coal powerplant with the cadetship training contacted me a month advanced before the feedmill plant... the only reason was it was only near to my place... I know it was my fault... because all they did was to recommend that I work at the feedmill plant because it was near at home... not knowing the complexity of the work in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 it was my father who wanted me to be on the engineering field. when my 2 year cadetship was over, i was planning on studying on web development for a while... You seem to be deliberately ignoring the point. Doesn’t matter what Dad wants, not his life. They’re your choices to make as you suffer the consequences or reap the rewards. Better to fail on your own terms than prosper under someone else’s... Mr Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author Venn Posted June 21, 2019 Author Share Posted June 21, 2019 You seem to be deliberately ignoring the point. Doesn’t matter what Dad wants, not his life. They’re your choices to make as you suffer the consequences or reap the rewards. Better to fail on your own terms than prosper under someone else’s... Mr Lucky it does matter because I live with him... if I don't follow his wishes, it will be a lifetime of scoldings and sleepless nights because I'm "not competitive enough" according to what he says... this is one of the reasons why I regret not going to the coal powerplant job... its 2 hours away from home and I could've finally gotten away from his loudmouth Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 21, 2019 Share Posted June 21, 2019 Then stop living with him. When you finally learn to stand up to your father & he sees you being a good teacher & happy in your life, he will respect you more. Right now part of the pressure he's putting on you is because he thinks you are weak & unable to make your own decisions; to date you haven't. Where is your mother in all of this? Doesn't she want her child to be happy & fulfilled? Get her to lobby dad on your behalf. You have CHOICES. When you actually act like that you will be in a better place. Link to post Share on other sites
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