LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Should I quit my new job after 3 months? I like the job, but I don't like my boss


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree7Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 7th April 2019, 12:22 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 41
Should I quit my new job after 3 months? I like the job, but I don't like my boss

So I just started a new job in January. I was really excited about the job since it's in the area I've always wanted to work in (social media analytics) and the company offers a lot of great perks. I also find the work very interesting.

However... my boss makes the job 10x more miserable. She is a (self-proclaimed) Type A person. It all started when she would claim that she told me instructions that she never told me (I would always repeat the instructions back to her once she finished talking, and she would confirm). Ever since, I have been taking screenshots of emails/slack messages, and also documenting everything she says. But the issue still proceeds.

For example, I had to create two graphs for a client, and she had told me that once I finish the first graph, email her to let her know. So I finished the graphs and had emailed her, and then I told her I'm now taking a shot at the second graph. This sent her in a frenzy and she came up to my computer screen saying "I don't recall, what do you mean you're working on a second graph?". I showed her exactly what I meant - referring to her own words in the email. She then started to question why am I working on a second graph, and to show her what I have right now. I showed my work to her, and she said oh okay that's correct. And then I asked her wait so am I not supposed to work on graph #2 then, and she goes "yea you are, I just thought you meant you're working on additional graphs". Which I never said?

And she also gives me feedback, but then goes back on her word. I'm working on another project right now, and after I showed her my first template, she suggested that I put insights that the client couldn't easily find on the software and to lower the amount of graphs and tables I had. Good feedback, and I did just so. When I showed her the second draft, she scrutinized me saying that I'm not ready to give out Powerpoints to clients yet because everything on my slide is not of interest to her nor is it "meaningful", so she's just going to tell me what to put. What were the new suggestions? A line graph that shows something the client can find in the software. Followed by two bar charts below it. (By the way - I had to create a Powerpoint for the interview process, and they hired me. Not only that, but something similar had happened beforehand, and the client came back asking for additional details that I original put on the Powerpoint that she then told me to exclude.)

And now recently, she has been giving me attitude for no reason. If I ask her a simple question, she gives me a scrunched-up, "disgusted" facial expression. For example, she and another coworker decided to take a call next to the snack stand. I got up and was proceeding towards the stand, but then I decided to ask if they are on a call right now (didn't want to interrupt). The coworker greeted me with a smile and said no I'm free to walk by, the call didn't start yet. However my manager didn't even say anything, and was chin down, looking up at me with a "wtf?" type of face. They weren't in a midst of a convo and I didn't interrupt, so I don't understand...

And the thing is, I don't have any other issues with any one else on the team. Matter of fact, her boss seems to really like me already and always compliments my work and keeps reminding me that I'm a great hire. However, I've also realized that people have been keeping an "eye" on me - so for instance, HR had scheduled a 1 month check up on me to ask how things are going and how do I feel. When I asked the other new hires if they went through the same thing after 1 month, they said no.

Now I left my last job (which I was in for 2 1/2 years) due to stress that lead to me getting bad migraines. I thought this new job would be the solution, but due to the stress the migraines came back - and I've had one for 2 weeks straight. I went to see a doctor who only suggested giving me a steroid, but then the migraine quickly returned back in the middle of last week, when my manager was on my tail once again. Due to this, I'm thinking about applying to new jobs or just quitting, but I don't know what to do.
angelsface200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 12:50 PM   #2
Established Member
 
losangelena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: L.A.
Posts: 4,322
Well, I think it’s maybe a good thing if HR is interested in how it’s going. Do you know how they got involved in the first place? Can you tell her boss that you’re having a bad experience?

My experience might be unique in that I work at a place where bad managers are taken to task, so if I were in your position, I’d tell someone who I thought could help with that, especially if it was a job I liked, at a company that was otherwise good, in an industry that I wanted to be in.

However, if this is already impacting your health, I think you need to decide what’s right for you. Is this worth it? I’d try and find out if you could report under someone else to avoid her, and figure out a timeline of when all that can feasibly happen. If you can tough it out until then, stay.
losangelena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 1:31 PM   #3
Established Member
 
salparadise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 5,290
I agree with losangelena's points. I would add that you need to assess her situation to estimate what outcomes are possible. Does her boss love her, or is she on thin ice herself? Does she have issues with others, or is this only between the two of you? Can you tell if she is well liked overall?

If this is a personality clash with an entrenched and well loved manager, your chances of winning a tug-o-war are slim to none. But if she's prone to conflict and micromanaging and this is known, and you have proven your competence to her boss already... maybe you could get reassigned to someone else.

The scrunchy face stuff is not a good sign, but it really depends on her power and affiliations, and how much confidence they have in you at the next level. It also may depend on whether there is another place to put you.
__________________
A chicken is just an egg's way of making another egg.
salparadise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 2:12 PM   #4
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 41
Thank you both for the advice!

I also think it's a good thing that HR was checking up on me. Originally I thought it was just to see how I'm doing since I'm a new hire - but when nobody else told me that they had the same meeting with HR (we all have the same HR manager), I was a bit shocked. Though this can be due to many reasons

As for my boss's relationship with others - I'm not too sure. I do 100% believe she is a great employee and that she's killing it. She and another teammate were recently promoted to Manager, and she did say she has her boss's personal contact info. However, in my first week, she did complain to her boss that she felt as though the coworkers in our office were "leaving her out". Also when she talks to me, I can see others side-staring at us. She also told me - and kinda boasted about it - that the engineering teams in this company and other companies had blacklisted her because she would always complain *shrug*

And to answer if they can place me elsewhere - I don't think so. Our team of 7 is localized in different parts of the world, and my boss and I are the only two people in our location. That's the way it was supposed to be set up, just in case I have to travel to a client's location in our market. Everyone else, including her boss, lives on the other side of the country, or another country.
angelsface200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 2:20 PM   #5
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 32,985
It's never a good idea to quit a job before you have another job. This is the 2nd job ou have wanted to quit because you found it too stressful. All jobs are stressful. Yes, your boss does sound like a bad boss but your decision to keep & confirm directions is the right way to approach this.

Perhaps you need to be self employed but that is a different set of headaches & stressors
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 3:51 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 445
Yes. Absolutely leave but get a new job first. And do it as fast as you possibly can and when you leave be sure to tell HR why. Maybe tell your boss too. Send a strong message to them. The #1 reason people leave jobs is because of their boss. The company needs to know or learn that.


It's really sad to me that there is no evaluation of bosses from their employees. The employees should get to evaluate their bosses too or else how do they get feedback? How do they improve? They aren't perfect and employees can't even complain too much or they'll be seen as difficult and uncooperative. Not a team player.... and having some sort of reputation like that may effect their ability to get the next job. So the unhappy employee has no choice but to say nothing and leave. Ask me how I know....

Last edited by snowcones; 7th April 2019 at 4:08 PM..
snowcones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 5:00 PM   #7
Established Member
 
salparadise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mid-Atlantic
Posts: 5,290
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelsface200 View Post
As for my boss's relationship with others - I'm not too sure. I do 100% believe she is a great employee and that she's killing it. She and another teammate were recently promoted to Manager, and she did say she has her boss's personal contact info. However, in my first week, she did complain to her boss that she felt as though the coworkers in our office were "leaving her out". Also when she talks to me, I can see others side-staring at us. She also told me - and kinda boasted about it - that the engineering teams in this company and other companies had blacklisted her because she would always complain *shrug*
So she's new to the manager role, and it sounds like she's had some other interpersonal issues. So what I'd suggest is that you hang in there and do your best to stay above it all. Continue documenting her instructions, repeating them back for clarity, and complying precisely. Try to get on her good side despite the difficulty, and make sure other managers and HR are aware of you taking the high road and performing well. I doubt that they're unaware of your situation.

I don't know what to tell you about the migraines. If you can't deal with it you may have to make a move, but try to stick it out if you can. You can't assume that the next job will not have similar difficulties, and you don't want to jump too often within a short time period. Good luck.
salparadise is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 6:04 PM   #8
Established Member
 
losangelena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: L.A.
Posts: 4,322
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowcones View Post
It's really sad to me that there is no evaluation of bosses from their employees. The employees should get to evaluate their bosses too or else how do they get feedback? How do they improve? They aren't perfect and employees can't even complain too much or they'll be seen as difficult and uncooperative. Not a team player.... and having some sort of reputation like that may effect their ability to get the next job. So the unhappy employee has no choice but to say nothing and leave. Ask me how I know....
This isn’t necessarily the case. Where I work, people are encouraged to give feedback to managers, and we have formal evaluation cycles every year. Hopefully OP works at a company that values this kind of thing and that she stands a chance at having a better time there. Looking for a job is stressful hard work, and who’s to say that her manager there will be any better.
losangelena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2019, 11:26 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 13,685
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowcones View Post
It's really sad to me that there is no evaluation of bosses from their employees. The employees should get to evaluate their bosses too or else how do they get feedback? How do they improve? They aren't perfect and employees can't even complain too much or they'll be seen as difficult and uncooperative. Not a team player.... and having some sort of reputation like that may effect their ability to get the next job. So the unhappy employee has no choice but to say nothing and leave. Ask me how I know....
Unless they're the owner or CEO, most bosses are still someone else's employee and receive the same type of feedback on productivity, results, cost control, profitability, etc., their employees do, often in more direct terms. Ask me how I know....

Mr. Lucky
__________________
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 8:38 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 445
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky View Post
Unless they're the owner or CEO, most bosses are still someone else's employee and receive the same type of feedback on productivity, results, cost control, profitability, etc., their employees do, often in more direct terms. Ask me how I know....

Mr. Lucky

I'm aware of that. What I said was that bosses should receive evaluations from the employees that they supervise.
snowcones is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 8:54 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2018
Location: The Garden State
Posts: 1,649
Honestly, nothing you have described sounds horrible. She knows clients better than you likely and knows what they are looking for in reports. You've only been there a few months, so you are still learning.

And so what if you don't get along great. You don't have to. In most workplaces, you aren't going to get along great with everyone you work with or report to.

Before you contemplate quitting, you need to ask yourself if this is a company and/or an experience that will lead to advancement in your career.
Wallysbears is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 10:24 AM   #12
Established Member
 
Mrs._December's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 546
Not every job is going to be unicorns and rainbows. That's LIFE. I think maybe your migraines are self induced because you're expecting everyone to treat you with kid gloves and when they don't, you over-react. That's just how it happens out in the real world and you need to learn to adjust to it.

Do you know that each time you leave another job due to your migraines, that makes your resume look worse? Having several jobs over a short period of time (7-10 years, for example) listed on your resume isn't always looked upon favorably by prospective companies as 'experience.' A lot of the time, it's simply seen as you not having the ability to stay at a job very long. YOU'RE the common denominator in that equation, not the prior company, so the prospective employer may decide not to invest in you because they won't believe you have any staying power.

I did recruiting for HR for 6 years and we saw job-hopping as a negative. Just keep that in mind before you keep making the same mistake over and over.
Mrs._December is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 1:51 PM   #13
New Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 9
Don't quit and stop taking it so personally

Managers can suck at interacting with their employees, yup, yup, yup.

Can you have a candid conversation with her about how things are without it blowing up negatively?

Is it possible that she is threatened by your skills? As in, maybe she thinks you want her job?

I think you only look for another job while employed.

Detach yourself from what you see as her hostility.

Note: Job hopping is not always viewed with negativity. It depends on the industry. For example, in Silicon Valley it is considered the norm.

Last edited by michzz; 8th April 2019 at 2:00 PM..
michzz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 4:20 PM   #14
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 41
Thank you everyone for the responses! I'll take everyone's advice and put it into consideration.

I also just want to make a quick note - I am not complaining about my manager because "she is mean" or "she doesn't coddle me". I don't mind criticism - matter of fact every-time she offers me feedback, both negative and positive, I say thank you. This area is a new field for me and I want to grow as an employee. What I don't like, though, is the flip-flop aspect of it. You give me feedback, I do what you say, and then you go back on your word and criticize me for doing what you said. Then over time she'll think I'm a bad employee. I wouldn't mind if it was a coworker, a stranger, anyone else - but if my manager thinks I'm doing poor work, then I risk getting fired, which is the part that's stressing me out I guess.

P.S. - I work in tech. Jumping into a new job in my field and in my area is veryyy common. Matter of fact, in the company I work for, they're many people who have left after 5-10 months here (due to miscellaneous reasons).
angelsface200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2019, 4:26 PM   #15
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowcones View Post
It's really sad to me that there is no evaluation of bosses from their employees. The employees should get to evaluate their bosses too or else how do they get feedback? How do they improve? They aren't perfect and employees can't even complain too much or they'll be seen as difficult and uncooperative. Not a team player.... and having some sort of reputation like that may effect their ability to get the next job. So the unhappy employee has no choice but to say nothing and leave. Ask me how I know....
I think this depends on the company. In my previous company, the bosses evaluated us but we were not able to offer feedback to them. And if you complained about the higher ups, then you risked getting blacklisted and treated worse. Typical office politics. I was one of the ones that said nothing and left lol.

I'm not sure how things are in my current company, but we'll see.
angelsface200 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Disturbing...new boss's new boss's unethical behavior Springsummer Business and Professional Relationships 4 25th February 2018 8:23 PM
should I quit my job because I love my boss? brynn Business and Professional Relationships 8 25th October 2013 9:37 PM
Bad working environment. Should I quit? But I don't have a job kindest Business and Professional Relationships 26 15th September 2012 3:33 AM
Decent job - horrendous boss...quit or stay? Jeannie Business and Professional Relationships 8 11th October 2005 4:40 PM
Boss says second job affecting performance and hints I should quit it. F U! IhavenoFREAKINclue Business and Professional Relationships 10 26th May 2005 3:05 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:06 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.