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The person I hate got the job I wanted


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Old 13th March 2019, 2:01 PM   #1
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The person I hate got the job I wanted

I'm currently doing an internship in my last semester of college. I moved in with a girl from my school who'd gotten a similar internship.

I didn't know her well but she seemed nice so we moved in together. I have since come to realize she is one of the worst people I have ever met. It's not in a malicious way -- she seems genuinely smart and probably means well -- but she's selfish and gossipy, and it's all exacerbated by her incredible lack of self awareness.

Our internship is such that we basically do the same job for different companies. Mine is the "better" company that had been around a long time with well respected industry professionals to help. Hers is a startup with less experienced managers. It didn't matter to me which one I got -- we do the same work for the same money in the same office with the same access to professionals.

But the entire time we've been here she has been incredibly bitter towards me. She told me the only reason I got the "better" job was because she'd messed up, and the only reason I'm good at what I do is because I have the better people to help me. It's even worse when she's drunk.

She talks **** about everyone behind their backs. I literally caught her gossiping about me TO ME and called her out on it. I could see on her face that she had an "aha" moment, but apparently it was fleeting because she went right back to talking about how her boss wants to have sex with her, how she's just super quirky, etc.

We both applied for a follow up summer internship with the "better" company that I currently work for, and of course she got it. The people who picked were from headquarters, not the managers here, so they had not met either of us. I'm not surprised. She is genuinely smart and comes across affable before you spend too much time with her.

The part that pisses me off is that she'd already accepted a different job, and only wanted this job because they'd rejected her before (she's talked **** all semester about the company, the city it's in, and the people that just gave her the job). Now her attitude has gone from bitter to demeaning, acting as if she is superior to me.

The worst part is this would have allowed me to live in the same city as my girlfriend, and now we'll have to continue living 5+ hours apart.

Of course, I can't say any of this to anybody and I just have to act like I don't care so that I don't come across bitter. I know in my heart I am good at what I do, and I am a much better person. There are far greater injustices in the world, but I can't help but feel angry and slighted.

I'm a very patient person and I've restrained myself from saying anything mean to her all semester. Venting has helped, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to control my mouth the rest of the semester. Any advice?
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Old 13th March 2019, 2:21 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by calamum nomen View Post
Venting has helped, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to control my mouth the rest of the semester. Any advice?
To what end?

One way the "bad guys" win is to draw their desired response from you. One way you win is to hold yourself to your standards, not hers. And that concept will have great value, not just here, but in life going forward.

I've always acted on the theory that, on a macro basis, good things happen to good people. And it's worked generally for me, I'm happily married, well-compensated and largely satisfied. I've certainly had my share of setbacks, challenges and backstabbers, but staying the course keeps thing positive.

If you see her, look her in the eye and say "congratulations". Then go find a better opportunity than the one she's secured. Living well is truly the best revenge...

Mr. Lucky
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Old 13th March 2019, 4:30 PM   #3
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Don't let her lure you back into friendship. Hey, if she's moving, hopefully that's the last you'll see of her. I'd have happily given up a promotion to get rid of my completely manipulative and useless work nemesis. Put it behind you and do NOT keep in touch with her. Block her.
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Old 13th March 2019, 6:56 PM   #4
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Your post (at the beginning) says you moved in with her.

Are you still residing together?
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:00 PM   #5
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The part that pisses me off is that she'd already accepted a different job, and only wanted this job because they'd rejected her before (she's talked **** all semester about the company, the city it's in, and the people that just gave her the job).
Well you can stop being pissed off because it's irrational. People don't turn around and refuse a job they've been accepted for, and accept a different job simply because they got rejected for the different job once before.

She talked crap about them when they rejected her the first time, because, well they rejected her the first time. That's what people do. It's called sour grapes. Until they're not sour anymore.

Sorry but reading your posts, it sounds like you've got more than your fair share of bitterness, resentment and even jealousy towards this girl, maybe a bit too much for your own good.
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Old 13th March 2019, 7:11 PM   #6
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If you don't like this person, you can always do something about it. Save everything that could possibly be used against them. Stay silent. Even befriend them. Wait for the right time to drop a huge folder of evidence of misconduct (everybody messes up sometime) and then use it to get rid of the person you dislike. Don't vent at work...that makes you a suspect. Be quiet, nice (on the surface), and save everything.
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