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Harrasment/lack or respect


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Hi guys,

Just came here because I could use some thoughts and I really needed to vent as well.

I am a female department manager at a retail store. Last Sunday, Really early in the morning I had a male employee agressively smashing things around, screaming and shouting at me (cursing and all) so I sent him home. I had mentioned it to my store manager (i was upset and crying when i spoke to him )

And he said he would speak to him not to involve HR. Later on that same day I had sent my boss an email saying I wanted the incident investigated and HR involved telling him I no longer felt comfortable around this employee.. The next day I wrote my statement and handed it to my manager. Once again telling him I wanted this sent to HR asap. I took the following two days off work and when I had returned to work asked my manager if he had spoken/ dealt with this employee yet he stated that he still had not said anything, continued to back the employee up saying he is a hard worker and a good guy. I called HR myself at this time and they came in the next day. We both gave statements. Fast forward 2 days and today I had told my manager once again I felt uncomfortable and he said well you’ve worked with him for 5 years why now? I then asked him if he has pulled up the camera footage of him throwing things around yet and he stated that he has not. I am at a loss right now I feel totally disrespected by my boss now that I feel like quitting my job. I feel so disrespected. I am not sure if I should quit or ask for a transfer but its gotten to the point where I am sick to my stomach and dont even feel like going to work anymore. HR is still investigating

 

Thanks for any input you guys can share with me

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Based on your description, I wouldn't be comfortable either. Forget your boss, have you expressed these feelings directly to HR? They should be part of the solution...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Based on your description, I wouldn't be comfortable either. Forget your boss, have you expressed these feelings directly to HR? They should be part of the solution...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Thanks for the response!

Yes. I told HR I no longer feel comfortable working with him at all. When I spoke to her last I told her it was if he(my manager) was trying to brush the situation off. I’m going to tell her tomorrow about the lack of respect I am getting from him. Just really frusturating as for the time being I am stuck in limbo. I also just returned to work from being off from surgery the week prior.

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Get HR to pull up the footage & then demand that you never be required to work with the violent guy again. Your boss is a crappy manager. That is all there is to it.

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So after 5yrs of working with this guy he just suddenly went off the deep end? What was he upset about? What was he throwing? Not defending him but some more context would be helpful.

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Yes, I agree that more context would help us understand better.

 

That being said, your company has been given the chance to "get context" and has declined to do so thus far. I would put everything in emails. Document this matter, like every day email someone. Create a paper trail that will likely force them to take action.

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So after 5yrs of working with this guy he just suddenly went off the deep end? What was he upset about? What was he throwing? Not defending him but some more context would be helpful.

 

He has had instances with other team members where there has been small arguments, he comes off as aggressive(macho attitude) sometimes but hides it well. He had another incidence a while back (I was not his manager) making a girl uncomfortable. This is the first that I have seen of his aggresive behaviour going overboard. He has somewhat of a bipolar type personality. Very moody.

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Document everything and if possible, record him if he acts this way towards you again.

 

Maybe he has something going on in his life that has changed him and his attitude. Either way he's acting unprofessional.

 

Your boss is probably 'friends' with this guy and is trying to protect him. Keep involving HR in this situation.

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I'm so sorry. I actually had a couple of similar incidents. You have done the right thing. It's a sad fact that your manager is protecting him and taking his side. In my opinion, you should talk to HR and see what they're doing and ask they look at the camera footage, if someone hasn't deleted it. And if nothing else is being done, either go up the ladder to the owner or file a complaint with the EEOC and they will have a hearing. They may recommend you do civil litigation, hostile work environment or gender discrimination or something.

 

Or if you don't care about that job much and can do better, leave.

 

Quickly, my incidents. I had been at this job about 7 years when a merger happened. People I knew from out of state moved to our headquarters. One of them came into my office one day, just randomly walking around and threw an ashtray at the wall behind me. It had nothing to do with me. I told my manager, who is also an ex of mine, and he reported it up (I would have if he didn't) and they fired the guy. I think he was jonesing for blow, actually.

 

I was trained by a bank to work on ATMS. I was on the maintenance level, lower level, and when it was above our head, we had to call and have someone up a level come out. I had a partner who seemed like he had mild special needs. Fully functioning, and he was an older guy, but you could tell he had some special gifts and needs. For example, he had a photographic memory for every street in this huge town.

 

One of the upper level techs had a reputation as being a dick. We had experienced his not nice personality on a few occasions and we had heard rumors in the field about him practically coming to blows with Brinks people.

 

One day, he loses it with me and my partner and starts talking down to both of us, and calls my partner "Rainman." I reported it in writing to our manager, a guy younger than both of us by far. The manager never did a thing about it.

 

Then our manager changed to an older guy who was actually the rude tech's supervisor, so now he's manager over all of us. He let me know he had seen my report on the guy, and he kept him away from us entirely. Not sure if he sent him to anger management or anything, but he didn't get fired. They needed those techs too badly.

 

So escalate if no one is doing anything. If HR doesn't tell you they're handling it, tell them you will be kicking it up the ladder and legally if they don't do something about it.

 

Also, don't talk in person. Write it down and if they reply in person, ask them to write it down. Force them to make a record of their inaction. If you have your letters notarized, it signals you will go legal if you need to.

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Screaming & smashing things. Can you provide more context?

 

 

Was he screaming about (for instance) inventory being off or a schedule being messed up and "smashing" a phone down on the hook/knocking stuff off a desk?

 

OR

 

Was he screaming profanities AT you (as in specifically calling YOU a name) and by "smashing" you mean knocking over displays?

 

 

I will offer more input once I have a better idea what happened.

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thefooloftheyear

More details needed....

 

But one thing that needs to be said(by someone)...If you want to be management, you can't fall apart if you have to discipline someone...Yes, even if they are upset...If you feel that you're in danger of bodily harm, then obviously find another male superior to back you up...

 

With the little I am getting of this, it sounds like your boss is thinking you are over dramatizing this...Perhaps I would change my mind with more details, but that's what it seems like...

 

Your boss should have called both of you into his office independently to get both sides, then perhaps a joint meeting to clear the air...

 

TFY

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  • 4 weeks later...
Yes, I agree that more context would help us understand better.

 

That being said, your company has been given the chance to "get context" and has declined to do so thus far. I would put everything in emails. Document this matter, like every day email someone. Create a paper trail that will likely force them to take action.

 

Yes, this guy is putting you at risk. What if he hurts somebody one day?

 

Do you have worksafe laws in your state? The org. has a responsibility to ensure a safe workplace, but give them time to investigate it, while at the same time requesting a resolution deadline.

 

I'd keep a paper trail and if you ever feel unsafe around this guy, call the police. That will shake them up. The guy should be stood down pending an investigation anyway.

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