Creepy client harassing me

[BWFMT]

I need some advice on what to do with regards to a client who I think can safely be called a stalker...

 

I work for myself from a home studio as a musculoskeletal therapist. I used to treat a client some time back, however he became somewhat obsessed with me going as far as to show up at a bar that I was drinking at with my partner, and appearing at social events uninvited and almost attaching himself to my friends group, much to their dismay.

 

He also rocked up to a spa day that I was at, and once attended a restaurant where I was dining with friends (all uninvited). I made a very clear point that if he did not stop I would take legal action, inform his wife that he was stalking me and basically to keep the hell away from me.

 

I can be a little over friendly at times with some of my clients - indeed, some have gone on to become very good friends, however this particular client really overstepped the boundaries in spectacular style and was most certainly NOT invited into my personal life. Unfortunately I can be a bit of a motormouth and divulge too much information about my movements when chattering with clients - this is how he gained the information about how to find me during my down time. After ending his sessions with me I realized that he was very intelligent and had a fairly manipulative way of questioning me without me realizing what he was doing.

 

I have ignored this client for almost two years now. He has made contact via Email, text, phone calls and whatsapp (easily ignored methods of communication) however he has now booked an appointment with me via a third party booking app whom I will have to contact to cancel him. This means I will also take a hit on my reliability score with aforementioned third party.

 

This is a horrible, awkward situation and I am really not sure how to approach the subject. Some of my friends believe I have grounds to go to the police and get a restraining order placed on him, but I would really rather not take that route. At present I have compiled an email simply stating the following:

 

'Dear

 

Thank you for your appointment for Swedish Massage on February 20 2019. Unfortunately, this appointment will be cancelled as I thought it had been made clear that our professional relationship had been terminated.

 

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best going forward.

 

There is no need for further communication regarding this matter.

 

Kindest Regards,

(My business name)

 

I feel like this is clear, to the point and needs no further contact but I am also worried about what must be running through his head to even consider booking an appointment to see me in such a way. It is almost like he is trying to force his way into my life via my treatment room.

 

On top of all this he was a real cheapskate and always asked for discount or longer/ extra treatments for no extra money!

 

Advice needed! Send the email and hope he does not show up at my door, or get the police involved?

Edited December 17, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Cersei]

I like the letter. I suggest sending it "certified with signature" because if you end up in court ever then atleast you have this as proof that you tried dealing with it on your own.

[BWFMT]

I like the letter. I suggest sending it "certified with signature" because if you end up in court ever then atleast you have this as proof that you tried dealing with it on your own.

 

Probably not a bad idea, I sense that he is the kind of person who will not take no for an answer. I am speaking with my lawyer tomorrow to discuss possible courses of action to make sure that he stays away - Two years of texts and calls and trying to force his way in is not a sign of someone of a healthy mind!

[Wallysbears]

Do not send a letter or email yourself.

 

Go to the nearest police department and have THEM deliver the message.

 

This guy is clearly nuts and could interpret a nicely worded email as a "sign" or something.

 

Do not contact him directly.

 

And when it comes to the third party booking company, I would contact them and explain that this is a stalker that is trying to utilize their platform to contact and harass you and they will likely ban him there also.

[d0nnivain]

The letter is too nice & sends an encouraging message.

 

Try this instead but have your lawyer send it:

 

via regular & certified mail, return receipt requested

 

 

Customer:

 

Your appointment for [date] has been cancelled. I have repeatedly told you that you are not welcome in my professional or personal life, yet you continue to stalk me. Your behavior is unacceptable and must stop. A copy of this letter and a list of all your wrongful attempts to contact me are being submitted to the [town where you live] police department. If you contact me again in any fashion I will seek a restraining order.

 

 

Very truly yours,

 

BWFMT

 

 

cc: town police department

 

 

Best wishes getting rid of him

[Rockdad]

Personally I turn sticky issues over to my business Atty and let him manage it. It's always been effective for me. It sends a very clear statement that a legal 3rd party is now involved.

[BWFMT]

Great responses - thanks guys.

 

He clearly is unhinged, and it is a concern that he knows my address and personal details. I think for that reason alone it is better to involve a third party and make it crystal clear that he either stops or I will be taking further action.

 

I'm not particularly scared or threatened by him, but find it odd behavior from someone married with a wife and children to be so obsessed with someone he has met in a professional capacity.

 

I used to treat him maybe once every couple of weeks, and he got the usual gift from my business at christmas (a card and a small box of chocolates) Perhaps he got the wrong end of the stick... either way I am not willing to drag this into the new year.

[Mr. Lucky]

... either way I am not willing to drag this into the new year.

 

Unfortunately, that's not up to you as his harassment could easily continue. Yours is one of those stories where, if he harmed you in some way, everyone would look back and say all the signs were there.

 

I'd attack this on all fronts, including through your lawyer and the (assuming they'll get involved) police. This is an individual who, at least to this point, hasn't taken "no" for an answer. Time to turn up the volume...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Wookin Pa Nub]

I agree with others the letter is customer friendly (too nice). You need to be harsher and send it certified and inform police.

 

 

What precautions do you take while working at home in case future clients get out of hand?

 

 

My gf who is very friendly teaches yoga which can be very up close and personal. She's had her admirers over the years and has felt threatened one time when a client confronter her in a stairway after class.

 

 

She now has a rule that she does not adjust (manually fix their poses, position) male students and she will not do private session with a man. In addition to teaching at fitness places and yoga studios, she teaches out of her home and that is only ladies.

 

 

Be safe!

[preraph]

I think your reply is fine cancelling the appointment. Any other client would understand why you had to do it, without even going into detail. Just tell them he wasn't treating you professionally and crossed a line. Keep that communication in case he keeps it up and you can show it to police as evidence you have discouraged him in case it comes to that. People like that are scary. You'll have to find out who the leaks are or just clam up in general. Of course, you must block him any way you can, e-mail, phone, all social media.

[CC12]

'Dear

 

Thank you for your appointment for Swedish Massage on February 20 2019. Unfortunately, this appointment will be cancelled as I thought it had been made clear that our professional relationship had been terminated.

 

I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the very best going forward.

 

There is no need for further communication regarding this matter.

 

Kindest Regards,

(My business name)

 

This sounds good, except I would delete the words "Thank you for your appointment" and "Unfortunately..." Just say, "Your appointment has been cancelled as I thought it had been made clear that our professional relationship had been terminated."

 

I also think it's important that you use the sentence, "Do not contact me again in any way." I think you need to be more clear on that point. You're sugar coating it too much and there's room to interpret that in different ways if you're an unstable individual.