Terrified of interviews

[guest569]

How do you feel better about an upcoming interview? I tend to get so worried that I feel physically ill on the day. I don't have much confidence. I have a couple of days to prepare for it but I can't even bring myself to think about it. Help!

[Garcon1986]

Can you get a buddy to help you do a practice interview?

 

I try to take the philosophy that the best interview is like a conversation with the other person.

 

My other tactic is inspirational music, such as Hayley Westenra's World in Union, or my other new discovery, the Maori Haka - the essence of confident men -

 

 

The more practice the better. You can also derive the same benefit from making presentations.

 

And always get a full nights sleep the day before.

[Mr. Lucky]

I tend to get so worried that I feel physically ill on the day.

 

What is it about the process you're most afraid of?

 

Mr. Lucky

[Malin889]

Interviews are like anything else: the more practice you get, the better you’ll be. Look up typical interview questions and how to answer them so you’ll be prepared. If it’s a phone interview, write down typical questions and write down your answers so you’ll be prepared. Be yourself and be personable. You’ll do fine.

[alphamale]

Interviews are like anything else: the more practice you get, the better you’ll be. Look up typical interview questions and how to answer them so you’ll be prepared. If it’s a phone interview, write down typical questions and write down your answers so you’ll be prepared. Be yourself and be personable. You’ll do fine.

 

I would add that since people are under scrutiny it's natural to be nervous or anxious. Make sure to dress to impress. I used to be so nervous before an interview that I would think I was going to die but once it started I was fine. Also, being prepared, like Malin889 said above is key. Have answers ready and point out how you'll make their organization better. Good luck.

[Garcon1986]

I would also read How to get to YES from the Harvard Negotiation Project, and learn from the pros.

[Els]

I get really anxious, too. I find that methods that help with anxiety in general are helpful for me here - reminding myself that life was just fine without that (job/project/whatever I'm interviewing for) beforehand, that it'll continue to be just fine afterwards regardless of what happens, and focusing on doing things that relax me (I like gaming and long baths for this, but that's a very personal preference, lol).

[Mystyry]

I found practice helped alleviate before the interview anxiety, as strange as that sounds: practicing answering interview questions, even long before you have one to plan for. I think you should have a pretty good idea of what you’ll be asked, so if there are any “canned” questions (tell me about yourself, name yor strengths and weaknesses, etc.), have an answer prepared, rehearse it on your drives to work, or while on the train. I would do this even when I didn’t have an interview and I found that gives me feeling of being prepared, even without knowing what else they will ask. In turn, that alleviated both my anxiety beforehand and as a bonus allowed me to perform better during the in-person portion.

 

I realize that doesn’t help if you have an interview right now that you are anxious about, but I really like Elswyth’s advice. I use an iteration of that too: I ask myself what’s the worst that will happen if I....(insert something like don’t do well). That reminds me that it’s not the end of the world. Good luck!

Edited September 23, 2018 by Mystyry

[guest569]

What is it about the process you're most afraid of?

 

Mr. Lucky

 

I really want this job and I'm miserable in my current role. I'm putting pressure on myself. I guess.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I tell myself that I won't get the job and that I will be fine.

 

 

 

From my experience, every time I got jobs, I connected to the interview panel and it felt like a natural conversation. It happened regardless how anxious I was before. Sort of like a good first date

[Mr. Lucky]

I really want this job and I'm miserable in my current role. I'm putting pressure on myself. I guess.

 

Then the interview is a positive step, more of an opportunity than a challenge, right?

 

smiley1, in these instances, I try to visualize the outcome I want. In your case, I'd spent some time the morning of the interview picturing myself in the role, new shoes on, performing the tasks involved. At least for me, that takes the edge off and leads to a more relaxed interaction.

 

Hope it works out...

 

Mr. Lucky

[alphamale]

remember to take deep breaths

[Orokotikki]

This might not help for the current interview due to time constraint, but consider applying for some jobs you are certain you do not want (but could get). Go to the interviews and get a few offers and turn them down. Just consider it practice. Be clear with them afterward that you do not want the job to minimize wasted time.

[Mardelis]

I tell myself that I won't get the job

 

 

That's not a very confident approach. Perhaps something more to the effect of "My life doesn't depend on getting this job, it would be nice but if it doesn't work out there's a lot of other possibilities".

 

 

 

Another is to just go on a lot of interviews, even for jobs you might not be qualified or interested in, until you get more comfortable with it.

[guest569]

Thanks for the tips all! My interview is this morning. I had a reasonable sleep and kept having random thoughts through my sleep about the job and duties so hopefully that was my sleep brain slotting everything into place. I'm feeling nervous but okay and looking forward to it being over and done with..

[guest569]

The interview went OK. I answered the questions reasonably but could have been better. They told me beforehand to take my time thinking over the questions as asked and take a sip of water where needed etc. But they didn't really enable me to do that. They would ask a question and I paused for literally 2 seconds to think and they were jumping in rephrasing and elaborating etc. I think they were trying to help but it just made me feel more pressured. Overall the vibe I got wasn't great. I don't think they liked me.So confidence is low. Doubt I got the job and disappointed as I was so well prepared and could have done great but they just want someone who can respond very quickly and articulately and I guess that's not me. Makes me reevaluate my entire career and wonder if I should be steering into technical roles because I just suck at talking. When I'm not in the interview though I'm pretty bubbly and communicate well. I am good at client services where I know the procedures. Not good at thinking on my feet. Was a shy child with crap oral communication. My EQ is good. Going too far into tech roles bores me. I need some interaction and like to see the result of the tech stuff and see products being used and appreciated.

[Mr. Lucky]

Overall the vibe I got wasn't great. I don't think they liked me.So confidence is low. Doubt I got the job and disappointed as I was so well prepared and could have done great but they just want someone who can respond very quickly and articulately and I guess that's not me. Makes me reevaluate my entire career and wonder if I should be steering into technical roles because I just suck at talking.

 

That's an awful lot of negative perception and self-doubt to take from a single interview - and one who's outcome is yet unknown. I doubt the decision will be based on the speed of your response to their screening questions.

 

Make sure you follow up with a note or email...

 

Mr. Lucky

[gaius]

Like anything in life you have to let go of what you don't have control over. You have what you have to offer and whether you're getting the job or not is already predetermined before you go in. It's nothing personal and nothing to worry about.

 

Once you learn to let go you'll find life a whole lot more enjoyable.

[guest569]

You have what you have to offer and whether you're getting the job or not is already predetermined before you go in.

 

That ain't true though. Excelling or failing at an interview is make or break. Nothing is predetermined.

[Eternal Sunshine]

That ain't true though. Excelling or failing at an interview is make or break. Nothing is predetermined.

 

 

From experience of being on interview panels, it is predetermined to a large degree. There is often a clear "before the interview" favorite and the others are mostly fillers. The favorite will get the job as long as he/she doesn't majorly screw up. Often, interview panel will even finish the sentences for the favorite.

 

 

In very small number of cases, there are no standout applications so it will then be determined on the interview.

 

 

Before I was on interview panels and didn't have clear understanding of how the process works, I naively thought that everyone that gets the interview has equal chance of getting the job.

[guest569]

I've been on a few panels (actually chaired all of them too) so I'm familiar with how it works in my field and organisation. It's all very above board and merit based. I don't think there was any predetermined thing happening. My written application was brilliant but I just didn't deliver in the interview in spite of my prep.. Frustrated at myself.

 

Anyway, I found out that I didn't get the job. Unsurprisingly! But hey, I got an interview and I got some practice. I feel like a failure but I have made a lot of progress since my early days.. When I stop and think about it, leaps and bounds!

 

But yeah.. Sad.. Will keep trying and try to be happy.

[pureinheart]

How do you feel better about an upcoming interview? I tend to get so worried that I feel physically ill on the day. I don't have much confidence. I have a couple of days to prepare for it but I can't even bring myself to think about it. Help!

 

I used to be nervous, but not to overwhelming levels (now would be a different story) ... I was nervous while the interviews were taking place and I think my interviewers expected it and rather liked it.

 

Think about it- being nervous says a lot about you.. you are not arrogant. You actually care about getting the position, meaning it does mean something to you.

 

So IMO be nervous as in this case it's very becoming.

[alphamale]

I used to be nervous, but not to overwhelming levels (now would be a different story) ... I was nervous while the interviews were taking place and I think my interviewers expected it and rather liked it.

 

Think about it- being nervous says a lot about you.. you are not arrogant. You actually care about getting the position, meaning it does mean something to you.

 

So IMO be nervous as in this case it's very becoming.

 

actually the interviewer is looking at how well you hide your nervousness and anxiety

[guest569]

I used to be nervous, but not to overwhelming levels (now would be a different story) ... I was nervous while the interviews were taking place and I think my interviewers expected it and rather liked it.

 

Think about it- being nervous says a lot about you.. you are not arrogant. You actually care about getting the position, meaning it does mean something to you.

 

So IMO be nervous as in this case it's very becoming.

 

Oh definitely! I guess the exception would be if someone is extremely qualified for a job that they can afford to be super confident about their interview, as in done higher level roles for years and now going for an easy job. I still like to see some nerves because it shows they care. If someone is super arrogant then you know they're going to be a pain in the butt to manage. They know everything, they're right about everything and never second guess themselves. That is dangerous.

 

In my case, the nerves are stopping me from performing as well as I should.

[guest569]

Also, in my experience we never interview a person who does not stand a chance at getting the job. It would be a waste of time. Maybe the USA is different.