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I'm kind of concerned about one of my employees!

 

She always seems like she's upset about something I just recently noticed cut marks on her wrists, the marks don't look too recent but it makes me wonder! She never wears shorts and barely reveals any skin! She fears everything! Something that I've been really noticing about her is that she always thinks she is doing a bad job and creating more work for everyone..she always apologizes a million times after she does one little thing wrong! She kind of seems distracted sometimes, it doesen't really effect her work performance but I'm concerned about her! I don't know if she's trying to do way to much or what, she has 2 side jobs on top of this one, and here she works 40 hours a week, I'm not sure how much she works at her other job!

 

What would you do if you was in my situation. I don't want anything bad to happen!

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There might be some history which has made her so insecure to the extent of being paranoid, or she might be in extreme need of money and is taking extra care in her jobs. You can talk to her during leisure or during lunch time or over a cup of coffee, you know some general talk which leads to that place. Or you might go for drink one Friday evening after work and ask her.

 

If you get hang of her story then may be you can allay some of her fears, but IMHO the point is that she will reveal her story to you only as a friend and not as boss.

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curiousnycgirl

As her manager, you really can only be concerned with her work performance. Of course as a human we care about the whole person, however it is a slippery slope for a manager to get overly involved.

 

Can you call HR for advice? Do you have an employee assistance program?

 

Those would be preferable routes for you to pursue rather than getting involved on a personal level.

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Originally posted by curiousnycgirl

As her manager, you really can only be concerned with her work performance.

 

 

Curious... what you say makes sense but IMHO in present case it is worthwhile to know more for work performance and productivity reasons. But as you suggested there should be no over-involvement.

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Well, I own a small business and I'm the only one in charge so it's not like I have anywhere else to go! I'd rather break a few of the "boss" rules and just let my employees know that I'm there for them as a friend also..I don't see a point in having to be a mean old snooty boss who only focuses on work..I mean, if the work isn't done that is one thing but I think it helps to sit around and talk about the work load and talk about going home and what everyone is doing..it's a way to let everyone know that life does exist outside and inside of work.

 

I know many employers are against this but I don't see the harm, unless you favor one person over another, which I don't..everyone is treated equally!

 

About the girl, I don't want to make her uncomfortable if I'd say something to her, I just don't know how to break her out of her shell, she's extremely shy! I'd feel horrible if something extremely bad would happen! She is a good worker and I hate to loose her!

 

 

 

thanks everyone who replied so far, i appreciate it!!!! :)

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Originally posted by MissBoss

Well, I own a small business and I'm the only one in charge so it's not like I have anywhere else to go! I'd rather break a few of the "boss" rules and just let my employees know that I'm there for them as a friend also..I don't see a point in having to be a mean old snooty boss who only focuses on work..I mean, if the work isn't done that is one thing but I think it helps to sit around and talk about the work load and talk about going home and what everyone is doing..it's a way to let everyone know that life does exist outside and inside of work.

 

I know many employers are against this but I don't see the harm, unless you favor one person over another, which I don't..everyone is treated equally!

 

About the girl, I don't want to make her uncomfortable if I'd say something to her, I just don't know how to break her out of her shell, she's extremely shy! I'd feel horrible if something extremely bad would happen! She is a good worker and I hate to loose her!

 

 

 

thanks everyone who replied so far, i appreciate it!!!! :)

 

Awww, the poor girl - and that's very sweet and kind of you to notice, and to want to help.

 

Maybe you could just take her aside and let her know that you value her as an employee, thank her for her good work, tell her it's great to have an employee like her - but tell her you feel she's so hard on herself, that she's doing very well and you feel badly that she's so apologetic and hard on herself.............maybe she's never in her life had a boss who acknowledged her, maybe she's had bosses in the past who were mean to her and is now so very nervous and afraid of screwing up. I bet it would mean the world of her to have you tell her that she's a valued employee and that you appreciate all that she does. That might just totally make her day, her week, her year !!!

 

let us know how it goes.

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when I went thru a bad depression, I was comforted by the fact that my manager aksed me if everythiing was ok. It left the door open to talk to her if I needed to. I am not sure how your company runs though? We are all pretty close. Also, telling her what was going on let her understand whyI wasacting the way I was. Nothing related to my performance, but just my general state. That is a tough one though. Good luck.

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A Fly onThe Wall

I have this one employee that I hired about 16 years ago. At the time I was his manager and boss and I had to work side by side and train him to run a high end scanner.

 

I noticed that he alway's apoligized for things that he did wrong in the learning process. It bothered me because he had low self esteem. He alway's looked at the floor when he would talk to you. He was also in an abusive marriage where he was physically abused.. I reassured him that if there was anything I as his boss could do for him personaly that I would.

 

I set out on a 6 month spree of telling him that you can't do anything wrong here and I don't want to hear your apoligies. I also would tell him on a consistant basis how good he was and how much the company counted on him and needed him.

 

His self esteem increased to the point that he became our top scanner operator and even became better at it than me ( my dream employee ). and like I said he has been with us 16 years and he loves his job

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wildanduntamed

Ok, From a personal standpoint, I can totally see how you would be worried about this girl. I was in a similar situation a short while back, we had an employee that was showing all the signs of OCD, and as much as I begged for somebody in higher management to do something, anything, about it, my cries seemed to fall upon deaf ears. Well, a short time after folks stopped taking notice of his erratic behavior, he committed suicide. After that, I felt so bad, for knowing that yes, a problem had existed, and for not getting him any help, or extending the knowledge that I was aware that he needed a support system among us, his peers, and colleagues. I think that you should at least broach the subject with her, away from others so as to not embarrass her, and let her know that you are there for her. Read up on as much literature as possible, so that you are able to understand her if she does come forward, but in the meantime, why not look into a support program, even though she may not be there, you would learn how she thinks by participating yourself, and you'd learn so much about the condition. I assume that you think she is/was a cutter, and one thing that you must understand is that no matter how long they go without a cut, they are never really cured, and so she would need you to understand that as well. I know how you feel when you say that you don't want anything bad to happen to her, so I'd go one of the above mentioned routes ASAP. Hope all goes well for you, and for this girl.

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