ShiningMoon Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Hi all, A couple of months ago, I posted about this male higher up who was really making it impossible for me to enjoy being a work due to his constant dismissing behavior. This was probably resulting from the fact I had rejected his offers for drinks both when I started in 2016 and the following year upon visiting his office. See Fast forward a couple months down the line and the dynamic is different. He started seeing someone (younger) in December (not sure if he's still with her), so he suddenly stopped contacting me, even for business purposes (a relief at the time). Whenever he would call (twice a month), he would be very short/cold, as opposed to before. I visited his office for a week in April, he was cordial and woud still stare at me for minutes on end, but would not talk to me. A week after I returned from this visit, we both got assigned a really time sensitive and high-value deal. He was going on vacation the following day, so I had to handle the transaction on my own. This deal was a success and I ended up getting some massive recognition from a regional sales guy (higher position than him) and another higher up. I didn't think much of it and continued my work. Then, in the past 2 weeks or so, he has been acting differently towards me. He started calling me for very random questions for which the answer requires 2 words, only to start talking about non-work related things afterwards. For instance, he asked me about how I feel living abroad far from my family and friends, about how I feel these days etc .. Then, a few days ago, he thanked me over instant message for something (we never talk on that platform) and out of the blue said: "I just wanted to let you know, we really appreciate your work". In 2 years, he never gave me a single feedback and suddenly, this.. The situation made me a bit more comfortable to the point where I can now make jokes (whenever appropriate) via email or on the phone, but this is unexpected as I used to be quite scared/apprehensive when dealing with him. This is strange after all the tension we had since I started. Why do you think this sudden change of attitude is due to? Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 He respects your work and sees that his superiors respect your work so now he is seeing you as the same level as himself and wants to be friendly. Who knows one day you could be his boss. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 He's the type that goes whichever way the wind is blowing. Higher ups like your work so he's following their lead. He showed you who he really is and that won't change. Keep your back to the wall around him. People like him you can never trust and you'd be smart to keep him at a business level only. I've been in and around the corp world for many years and the behind the scene politics are thick. Beware 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I think it's due to "Me Too." Either he started worrying (because he was retaliating against you for not socializing with him) or someone told him to. Don't trust him though. Be polite and keep him at a distance. Unfortunately, it's also possible this might just be a new ploy to get next to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 8, 2018 Author Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) Thanks for your responses, all. We are not based in the US, so I doubt he even has a remote knowledge of what the "Me Too" movement pertains to. He suddenly started acting this strange about 2 weeks ago. We had closed that transaction back in April and although I got recognition for the transaction from other people right away. He never gave me any feedback about it then. Hence, I am not entirely sure why he waited 2 months after that deal to suddenly show a bit of "appreciation"/respect out of the blue when we barely had any contact since December. I am not sure if this sudden respect/appreciation of my work is genuine or if there's a hidden motive. Edited July 8, 2018 by ShiningMoon Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 Who knows. I wouldn't worry about it if it isn't affecting your work. Why so many threads about this particular guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 8, 2018 Author Share Posted July 8, 2018 (edited) I'm not "worried", but I find it strange and I'm wondering whether I can trust his sudden appreciation. That's all. I mean I used to be scared as hell of him because he was incredibly mean/rude. Suddenly, he's showing this sudden appreciation. I think it's reasonable to question the grounds of such an overnight attitude change. This is forum, I'm free to post about whoever I want in the limits of anonymity. Edited July 8, 2018 by ShiningMoon Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 I'm not "worried", but I find it strange and I'm wondering whether I can trust his sudden appreciation. That's all. I mean I used to be scared as hell of him because he was incredibly mean/rude. Suddenly, he's showing this sudden appreciation. I think it's reasonable to question the grounds of such an overnight attitude change. This is forum, I'm free to post about whoever I want in the limits of anonymity. That's obvious. I'm just thinking you continue talking about this man that you really have a romantic interest in him. It's okay to admit it. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2018 Share Posted July 8, 2018 No. You can't trust him. So just keep a log if he does anything you don't like again. Just be polite to him but turn down any invitations from him. Stay busy so he doesn't try to waste your time chatting you up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShiningMoon Posted July 16, 2018 Author Share Posted July 16, 2018 (edited) Never mind Edited July 16, 2018 by ShiningMoon Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted August 18, 2018 Share Posted August 18, 2018 hold back for a month, draw no conclusions here, whatever transpires will either confirm or dispel any assumptions, just do your job til then, be diplomatic Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts