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I work in a super small office. The most people working at one time would be five. The girl I work near (10 feet away) every day is always complaining. She thinks her life is terrible - but it is not. I know her pretty good since we have been working close for twelve years now.

 

 

For example: The first thing she said this morning was "I am so tired. I hate daylight savings time." What's sad is I predicted she would say this. She finds a problem with EVERYTHING.

 

 

For twelve years I have been listening to her complain about her husband. She never does anything about it. It is her choice to live unhappy.

 

 

The elderly man in charge tends to feel sorry for her. It's like she is always looking for a pity party. I even hear her whining on the phone to customers and clients.

 

 

How can I get her to stop complaining? I try and get her to look at the bright side of things. There are other people that have it a lot worse than her, but she just doesn't see that.

 

 

Help! It brings me down.

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If you are allowed, wear noise cancelling head phones at work.

 

Seriously, let whatever she says go in one ear & out the other. She will never change.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I used to work with this woman. Is her name MaryAnn?

 

People like this will never be happy. With anything. You can't do anything to change her, so you'll just have to figure out a way to not let it bother you. Make a game out of it. One time I had to drive my mom 5 hours away, and back, and had a little game with myself where I kept track of how long my mom could go without talking. The entire trip, the longest she went was ten seconds.

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Why is she like that?

 

 

She has told me that she is not depressed and she loves life.

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Have you ever tried to tactfully tell her that her complaining is a real downer and affects your mood and day?

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Happy Lemming
I used to work with this woman. Is her name MaryAnn?

 

 

No, I worked with her and her name was Kathy!! (LOL)

 

Every office is going to have some form of a complainer... Is there an office manager or HR Rep?? If not, say something to her; if it doesn't stop after that, you may have to change jobs.

 

The company that I worked for that had "Kathy", went out of business after a couple of years, so my problem fixed itself.

 

Going forward, I tried to interview places where I would have my own office and would shut my door. If someone tried to engage me in complaining, I would say I can't talk, as I need to concentrate on these numbers in front of me.

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healing light

I like the noise cancelling headphones idea. I think if you confront this woman nothing will change except more hostility in the workplace. People like this are addicted to the social currency they get in exchange for their whining. It's a lifelong habit--the only thing that will happen if you get in her face is that you'll be the next topic of her complaints.

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Twelve years you've been putting up with this! You must have the patience of Job. I can relate, I have a girlfriend who started complaining about petty stuff a lot as she's got older, and I admit I avoid spending too much time with her because she's a downer, but that's very different to being trapped in an office with a chronic whinger. Could you have an off-record talk to the guy in charge and explain that the whining is affecting your morale?

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If she doesn't have depression its likely that she does it was away to start convo or fill in the empty space in the room. Some people are uncomfortable with silence.

They just don't realize that constant negative talk can be a drag.

Edited by HiCrunchy
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Have you told her that she complains too much? Maybe she doesn't know this.

Be honest and tell her, as a friend, not to criticize. Don't be judgmental with her. I myself am a complainer but usually not at work. You could tell her to start a complainer's club, perhaps. lol. Don't repeat optimistic cliches like the glass is half full--that is really annoying to hear, or never disagree with her because then she will become angry and rant more.

 

Someone once said--never say anything at work that you would not want to be on the first page of tomorrow's newspaper.

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Sorry to hear about your work environment. That sounds challenging to deal with. I think it would be best to talk to her directly about the issue. Bring it up gently, but honestly. If that does not work, consider talking to your supervisor about options. I will be praying you find a solution!

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