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Problem with interest in guys generally?


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Old 24th February 2018, 4:19 PM   #1
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Problem with interest in guys generally?

[]I have had an issue for like years. But the thing is I have managed to get out of it usually. My issue is this. I am the type that has a much stronger sexual attraction than the emotional side or sensible side. Like I can tell logically much actually more than some women I have known of my own class that do the weirdest dumbest things.

Things I would love to do myself with the same type of people in the sense that I find appealing. Anyhow my issue is I don't have much willpower so to speak with anyone I find remotely attractive. Even if the guy is a heroin addict. I could possibly be the type that went with someone in prison well not for long but like as a one nightstand etc... Definitely, I know how bad that sounds. But it's true.

Anyhow generally I don't let up that I like anyone. I do well at that in the environment I live it's a good thing I like not being bothered I am not in a situation to be bothered and all the people I know are a different kind of people from me. I work with managers who have red eyes and intoxicated voices and people who when you get off of work try to offer you a blunt. So yeah,,, it's a job just like the previous jobs same situations. But anyway I don't do drugs drink or smoke cigs. But anyhow the issue is that sometimes a guy that has those issues tries to talk to me still I got no real way to avoid it actually so usually I will make up a lie about myself say I was diagnosed with schizophrenia or say I'm transgender or lesbian or just imply I'm lgbt.

The problem is this time I don't want to do that I did that before and it really messed my job up. I had to get a new job. I felt like it was better that way than sleeping with someone who was highly addicted to heroin who knows what kind of diseases that would cause me to have now.

Well anyhow now there's this guy at work I've worked with for 5 months and generally avoided him didn't even know his name until a month ago when all of a sudden he started trying to talk to me. Now everyday we work together it seems we always end up talking which drives me crazy because I go down that road of issues. And I know he's no good first thing we started talking about was gambling and drinking and a lot of other stuff my issue is I don't want to have say I'm a les or a tranny just to avoid being bothered.

That affects my relationships with everyone else at work. But I have always known I can't exactly say no. I never can to anything that's exactly why I don't drink do cig or GOD forbid drugs. I can't even really say no to spending money that's why. I'm a compulsive spender and I have issues with all of that and this is included I know. So I don't really know how to make good decisions for myself without relying on others to leave me alone advice?

Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 24th February 2018 at 4:26 PM.. Reason: Paragrahs and move to BPR
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Old 24th February 2018, 4:29 PM   #2
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Welcome to LS.... are you more interested in opinion/experience on the work issue or dating and relationships in general?
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Old 24th February 2018, 4:31 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by carhill View Post
Welcome to LS.... are you more interested in opinion/experience on the work issue or dating and relationships in general?


the first but my issue is more with me like I said




thank you
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Old 24th February 2018, 5:18 PM   #4
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I just can't really seem to get any advice on it. And it's just annoying for me because I know I can't keep going on like this. Something's got to give. I always end up look to some woman to hopefully overshadow me so I can hopefully be invisible or less noticeable that's happened a few times too. But my issue is it continues because some other guy with problems will come along with the same problem. Only saving grace I've ever had was that I don't find my own race attractive or at least what I appear to be. So generally I find black guys with issues bothering me and that's great because I just totally ignore since I don't have any desire but then there are those who are mixed or white that I don't find attractive may do the same thing I don't care again. It's only if they are one of those guys I actually do find attractive. Then I really don't know what else to do but defame myself my own reputation just to avoid worst issues. I live in vegas all the poor locals are ****ed up it always seems in fact the class of people I'm talking about isn't even the lowest of the low. Quite yet. me I'm just trying to get by without getting involved with some bad people. What's even worst is the more time I do that it just worsens. Which is why I sought out advice online irl I could never tell anyone this. I am really ashamed about it personally and it's something about myself that I've always hated really badly
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Old 24th February 2018, 6:04 PM   #5
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You might have to do some therapy to find out why you're unable to be assertive enough to say no. I mean, I'm glad you're lying about things to avoid these people, because they sound awful. A more logical approach would simply be to say "No, I'm busy," "No, I'm unavailable." and not offer excuses. But you do whatever you need to do to hold off these people you know are no good for anyone. And use your willpower to say no to other things as well.

At least there is something in you that knows you deserve better than them and that lifestyle, so all is not lost. You hang onto that self-worth.
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Old 26th February 2018, 10:57 PM   #6
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You might have to do some therapy to find out why you're unable to be assertive enough to say no. I mean, I'm glad you're lying about things to avoid these people, because they sound awful. A more logical approach would simply be to say "No, I'm busy," "No, I'm unavailable." and not offer excuses. But you do whatever you need to do to hold off these people you know are no good for anyone. And use your willpower to say no to other things as well.

At least there is something in you that knows you deserve better than them and that lifestyle, so all is not lost. You hang onto that self-worth.
I have a heavy impulsive nature. I'm very compact with it. So I know I never could trust myself. Because my body wins over my mind every time everyday in every way. Thankfully I have a high metabolism and don't try anything anymore addictive. I think in general it's just a genetic thing my father was an addict but he never did drugs. He only drank smoke like crazy (tobacco only) and like slept with anyone male or female for that matter etc.... He was a compulsive spender and eater as well but I got good gene weightwise from him. I don't know I never thought a therapist would take me seriously because I never have done any of the drugs alcohol cigs etc.... I had a counselor once say they were shocked and thought I was just a "good girl" but I never really shared what the reason for all of that was. Like I have always been addicted to the internet video games etc.... Anything that I have liked ends up ruling my life so I have little control over my impulses generally. So that's why I try to avoid it but it's impossible to keep going on like this.
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