LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

It doesn't matter.


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree3Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 23rd February 2018, 1:11 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
It doesn't matter.

So, I work a job that's basically retail/ service. I've worked in that industry for ten years. I've only ever been able to get second shift because that's all that's ever available anywhere. That is what it is, I know.

The place I worked used to be open 24 hours, and I'd usually be scheduled til 8 or 9. Not bad. About a year ago, they dropped the 24 hour thing and we started closing at 10. And of course, my schedule was bumped up to me closing every night with either a coworker or the assistant manager. Right off the bat, all three of us had told the manager that we wanted there to be some kind of rotation so that none of us were closing every single night.

Understandably, we all had to suck it up for a while because some of our other employees had to move around and help other stores for several months. But eventually, we started looking to hire someone new to help out. The manager had told me that once we hired someone and got them acclimated, that we'd start rotating things more.

That... didn't really happen. My coworker talked again to the manager a couple months ago, and mentioned that both me and her still wanted rotation. And of course, the assistant manager is super buddy buddy with the manager, and she also doesn't want to close much.

So, for the last 2-3 months, there's been a change. Now, my coworker and the assistant manager only close one night a week, and get to leave at 7-8 the rest of the time. I, however, am still closing 4 out of my 5 shifts, and I frequently don't get home until 11 or later.

And, I mean... I know, I'm lucky to have a job at all, but it's just been very rough on me. For one, I've always had trouble getting good sleep. I used to go to bed around 11, have trouble sleeping, but still get 6-7 hours. But it usually takes me 2 hours to unwind and fall asleep after getting home from work, and I still have trouble sleeping and I still wake up early, so for the last year, I've been going to bed around 1 AM and only getting 3-4 hours of sleep. I'm constantly exhausted and lightheaded from a lack of sleep. It just... Really sucks.

And of course, I'm frustrated that everyone else at work got what they wanted, and I got nothing. I was told many times that rotation would be coming and we'd all be able to have nights off. But in the end, everyone else gets 4 nights off and I get 4 nights on. Seems fair, right?

Now, I know, in a perfect world, I could try talking to the manager and get things worked out. But here's the thing. I've come to learn that I'm... easily taken advantage of and overlooked. And don't get me wrong, I don't blame anyone else, nor do I specifically have any bad blood towards my manager or coworkers. But it just... doesn't matter. Nobody ever "hears" me. Or if they do, they just don't care enough.

If I said something, I'd probably only get one night off and my other two coworkers would still get three. Not to mention, as soon as someone goes on vacation or needs time off, I'd get bumped back to closing 4 nights and then the schedules would stick that way because the manager likes to just copy and paste them. So, it's completely pointless. And not only that, but as pathetic as it sounds, I also don't want to "take away" the good thing my other two coworkers have going for them now. I would just feel guilty about that.

So look for a new job, you say? Eh. Everyone else still only hires for second shift, so I'd likely still be working til 10-11 anyway. And regardless of where I go, I'm still the least important person that gets overlooked and undervalued. Before my current job, I spent eight years working elsewhere where every other manager I had treated me the same way. Not "hearing" me, or not caring about me, telling me "We'll try to do this eventually" and then failing to deliver. I get it. It's not them, it's me. I'm just not important enough. I'm not worth caring about.

So that leaves me... Well, nowhere. Once again, I'm sitting up past midnight, feeling angry and frustrated because once again I didn't get home until well past 11 and now I can't fall asleep and I just get to do it all over again tomorrow.
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd February 2018, 1:02 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 815
You need to make yourself more "marketable" to other companies. Can you take any classes at a local community college in the morning??

I remember being stuck at a job, so I took some computer classes at a local community college which made me more valuable to the next company (I worked at) and my new skills opened other doors. The more skills and education you have, the easier to "make a move" to a better company.

As far as your current situation, and not being able to fall asleep when you get off work; have you tried any "over the counter" sleep aids. I use them from time to time when I can't sleep and they usually work in 30 minutes. For me, I only need 1/2 a pill. I know some products leave you feeling groggy in the morning, that is the reason I only take 1/2 pill. Its enough to put me to sleep, but not enough to make me feel groggy in the morning.

Just my two cents...
__________________
All of my posts are my opinion based on my own experiences. Feel Free to disagree with me, this rodent has thick skin.
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th February 2018, 2:29 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
But it just... doesn't matter. Nobody ever "hears" me. Or if they do, they just don't care enough.
You can't get other people to care about you if you don't care about yourself. I know it's cliche or whatever, but it's true. If you cared more about yourself, you would find it easier to ask for what you want at work, and if you don't get what you want, you move on and try to find it somewhere else. You don't just take everyone's **** because you think that's all you deserve.

You feel bad that you'll be taking away your coworkers' nights off if you take some for yourself? Well, that's noble of you and all, but you deserve nights off just as much as they do, even if all you do is go home and eat a TV dinner alone with your cat. Their personal time is not more important than your own.

How to start caring about yourself more? I don't know, everyone is different. Counseling? Exercise more? Volunteer? Take up some new hobbies? I do know that your sleep schedule is probably ****ing you up pretty badly, so that should be a relatively easy thing to fix. Make it a priority to get your 8 hours per night. That's a small thing you can do for yourself because you deserve it.

You won't believe me when I say this, but you are important enough. And you are worth caring about.

I hope you feel better soon.
CC12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th February 2018, 3:15 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 19,207
If you don't speak up, they may think you're perfectly fine with this. Also, you have ten years experience somewhere and I bet you could job hunt and get another job.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th February 2018, 8:26 PM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy Lemming View Post
You need to make yourself more "marketable" to other companies. Can you take any classes at a local community college in the morning??

I remember being stuck at a job, so I took some computer classes at a local community college which made me more valuable to the next company (I worked at) and my new skills opened other doors. The more skills and education you have, the easier to "make a move" to a better company.
I mean, I've been to school, granted I finished it aiming for an industry I couldn't get into. I'm not necessarily against going back to school, but I can't come up with something else I could major in and pursue, and if/ when I go back, I'd prefer to have a "plan" in place. Until then, I can't see a life past anything but retail/ service, unfortunately.

I've found in my experiences at my jobs over the past ten years, when management becomes aware of my ability to do something, it's more of a "Oh, you can do xyz? Okay, here's some tasks and responsibilities for you to take on, but with no added benefits to you whatsoever" kind of scenario. Basically, I just get more things dumped on me, but I don't get anything in return to balance that out, such as a raise or a willingness to be flexible with my schedule, or whatever.

Quote:
As far as your current situation, and not being able to fall asleep when you get off work; have you tried any "over the counter" sleep aids. I use them from time to time when I can't sleep and they usually work in 30 minutes. For me, I only need 1/2 a pill. I know some products leave you feeling groggy in the morning, that is the reason I only take 1/2 pill. Its enough to put me to sleep, but not enough to make me feel groggy in the morning.
I haven't, no. Generally speaking, I tend to avoid medication unless it's something I absolutely need. What I've come to realize is that what typically keeps me awake the most is my mind. Most often, when I lay down and close my eyes and try to go to sleep, it's like my mind is actively fighting the process. Even on days where I'm exhausted and dead tired throughout the day, I go to bed at night, shut my eyes, and still can't fall asleep because my mind is desperate to stay conscious.

That also makes it difficult when I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night, which is super frequent, because once I wake up at, like, 3AM, the wheels in my head start moving again, and I'm back to struggling to turn my mind off so I can fall back asleep.

It's also frustrating because even on my days off, where I don't go to work at all, I've started staying awake til after midnight, not because I want to, but because my body is just programmed this way, at this point, after doing this for a year.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CC12 View Post
You feel bad that you'll be taking away your coworkers' nights off if you take some for yourself? Well, that's noble of you and all, but you deserve nights off just as much as they do, even if all you do is go home and eat a TV dinner alone with your cat. Their personal time is not more important than your own.
You're not wrong, but the way I look at is, they "won". Yes, perhaps it is silly to be this much of a door mat, but I know I'd feel very guilty if I did something to take that away from them. They've got a good thing going for themselves now, and I don't want to be "that guy" that messes it up.

As for caring about myself more, I... Well, I dunno, I mean, I've always just tried to put other people first, for as long as I can remember. The way I see it, I don't "deserve" as much as others. And I don't mean that in a self-deprecating "low self-esteem" kind of way. It's just realistic. I have little to nothing to offer, I have no higher aspirations because I can't figure out where I truly "belong" career-wise, I have no family or loved ones that are relying on me to make an income. I feel I should be grateful to have a job at all.

Quote:
I do know that your sleep schedule is probably ****ing you up pretty badly, so that should be a relatively easy thing to fix. Make it a priority to get your 8 hours per night. That's a small thing you can do for yourself because you deserve it.
Yeah, like I described above, my sleeping patterns have always been problematic, but this work schedule has definitely made it even worse over the last year.

Quote:
Originally Posted by preraph View Post
If you don't speak up, they may think you're perfectly fine with this. Also, you have ten years experience somewhere and I bet you could job hunt and get another job.
My "experience" isn't really that exceptional, though, and like I said, the best I could hope for is finding another second shift retail/ service position in which I'll probably still be overlooked and undervalued by my higher ups. So what's the point?

When it comes to "speaking up", sure, admittedly, I'm not super aggressive about getting my wants across, but I still try to voice them when the opportunity exists. Thing is, and I realize this is naive on my part, but I'd rather have a conversation with my manager, and have them be able to understand and care about what we talk about, rather than me constantly having to nag them over and over and over again.

But, what's frustrating is that many of the managers I've had end up saying what you said, in that I "didn't say anything", even when I know for a fact we had conversations about it.

For instance, back at my first job, for years, I was stuck on nothing but cashier duty, and any time I was able to have a conversation with management, I'd mention that I wanted to shift away from that and do other things. And at the time, they'd say "We'll see, once we hire someone new, we'll try to move you around more", or some other excuse. Then we'd hire someone new, and... either the new person or someone else in the store would get moved around, and I'd still be stuck in the same spot. And the next time I'd have a conversation with management, their response would be "Oh, you never said you wanted to move away from cashiering", which was BS.

Actually, last summer, at my current job, I found myself in this situation again (but with an issue different from the current schedule stuff), where I had the conversation saying "I'd like this", the manager saying "Sure, we'll see, we'll try to figure something out in the future", then me not getting that thing, and the manager going "Oh, I didn't even know you wanted that thing".

So, again, I know it's apparently on me, it's some inability of mine that I just can't make people "hear" me or care about what I want. It feels like when I say something or express an interest in something, it just goes in one ear and right out the other.

Like I said, even if I made a huge push for the schedule thing now, I know exactly how it would go. I'd only get one night off per week, while the other two coworkers would still get three off, and then as soon as someone goes on vacation and we have to adjust the schedule, I'll be back on working late for four of my shifts like I am now, because the manager would conveniently forget. If I can't get true balance, and get it consistently, then I might as well not have anything at all.
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th February 2018, 9:10 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
I've found in my experiences at my jobs over the past ten years, when management becomes aware of my ability to do something, it's more of a "Oh, you can do xyz? Okay, here's some tasks and responsibilities for you to take on, but with no added benefits to you whatsoever" kind of scenario. Basically, I just get more things dumped on me, but I don't get anything in return to balance that out, such as a raise or a willingness to be flexible with my schedule, or whatever.
I think you missed my point... If you have more skills and more education, you can move to a different better company. One that won't put you on the late shift or will rotate shifts properly. A better company may also pay more.

Are there any different companies in your immediate area that are in the same industry or provide similar services?? Could you apply for a job over at that different company?? If they are hiring, when you interview with them, explain how valuable you are with those new and improved skills/education, then stipulate the hours you wish to work and pay scale you are expecting.

Companies want good people with updated skills and are willing to accommodate their "wants and needs"...
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th February 2018, 10:10 PM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 174
I agree. Sometimes having additional skills doesn't necessarily help you out if you return to the same type of industry/work...you get more responsibility with the same pay/hours...it seems like the problem for you is your management, as you stated, "not hearing you."
In a situation like that, maybe seek a true professional's advice on how to interact with management in a workplace--you may even have to fork over a little bit of dough for good advice.
I do not know where the best place to start looking for that may be--perhaps in a phone book or online for reputable business' that can coach or train you on how to get your needs met in a respectable, professional manner while in the workplace. I think those kinds of coaching technique's could hold some merit and since you would be a client, then the advice and guidance would be confidential and tailored to meet your specific needs at your place of employment. It would maybe be more comforting knowing that you will be able to implement these changes successfully on your own after receiving expert training or advice that is specific to your case. It can't hurt. And if you are up early, then you should feel better working on a solution that doesn't harm your reputation in the company and lets you gain the value among your work peers that you would like for yourself at that company. It seems like a positive approach and one that may help you sleep better at night--it always helps to have a good purpose to work towards in life, and it seems to me like you are searching for a "good" solution to your problem, as you value yourself as a "good" employee and person. And that is a good thing. Now, let your boss see how good you are too by finding a solution that works for everybody! Good luck.
CrazyKatLady is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12th March 2018, 2:29 PM   #8
Established Member
 
RecentChange's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 4,691
Quote:
Originally Posted by CC12 View Post
You can't get other people to care about you if you don't care about yourself.
THIS

And you simply have to be more assertive about what you want, and be persistent about it.

You have to be your own advocate, no one is going to do it for you.

No one else is going to care about you, as much as you. Its how life works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
My coworker talked again to the manager a couple months ago, and mentioned that both me and her still wanted rotation.
Should have been you - again, that "be your own advocate" stuff.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
And of course, I'm frustrated that everyone else at work got what they wanted, and I got nothing.
Thats because they made themselves heard, and were probably persistent about it. They made it clear it was a priority to them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
Now, I know, in a perfect world, I could try talking to the manager and get things worked out. But here's the thing. I've come to learn that I'm... easily taken advantage of and overlooked.
Yes, because you allow yourself to be taken advantage of and overlooked. You don't assert yourself.

Me? Same scenario? First, I would have been going directly to my boss, not having my co-worker do it. Then if I saw others got the schedule they wanted, while I was passed over - they would have found me in their office again "hey, I noticed a few are now rotating on closing, I was willing to accommodate for a while, but this schedule isn't working for me. I need to get 3 evenings a week off as well. How do we make that schedule happen?"
__________________
Sorry for all of the typos! On a cell phone that thinks it is smarter than me
RecentChange is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19th May 2018, 2:09 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
In a frustrating "update"... So, apparently, the assistant manager decided having four nights off from closing per week wasn't good enough for her. And now, she and I are alternating closing every other week on the one night I didn't have to close. Long story short, I have to give up the one night I didn't have to close, so that she can have full weeks off from closing altogether. That sure seems fair, now doesn't it?

I'm at a point where I want out of this place. And on one hand, that bums me out, because before all this started, as much I hated working retail/ service in general, it seemed like a solid place to work. I got along well with all my coworkers, I didn't totally hate being there every day... But now? I'm just miserable, internally, the entire time I'm there. Everyone else there gets what they want, but not me. Eventually, when one of them either moves to a new store for a promotion or leaves for something better altogether in the next 6-12 months, I'm sure the newer guy I close with all the time will make a play for earlier shifts, and he'll get it. Then we'll hire someone else, and it'll be me and that new person closing all the time. Ad nauseum.

And the thing is, I've had conversations with the manager about this stuff back before it was actually an issue. Granted, I guarantee that she'd say she doesn't remember having those conversations. But we did. Maybe I don't "nag" as much about it, but I had that talk with her at least a few times. But, truth be told, I'm not mad at her or any of my other coworkers, or anything like that. The reality is, I know it's my failure. This happened at my previous job of 7 years, as well. When I speak about something, nobody ever "hears" me. When I talk to anyone about anything important, it might as well go in one ear and out the other. I never feel "heard". And therefore, I never feel "valued".

But, perhaps that's the problem -- I have no "value" to begin with. I mean, I do my best. But, at work, for instance, I tend to just end up having to do the stuff nobody else wants or cares to do. They "appreciate" in the sense that they're happy they don't have to do it or worry about it. But beyond that? I might as well just exist to be taken advantage of. I wanted to work somewhere where I could be an "equal". Where I could be valued and respected, and heard. And there was a time where I thought I could have that at my current place of work (again, I never felt that about my previous job of 7+ years). But, I was wrong. Once again, my lack of value has placed me in a frustrating position of being more of an "underling" than an "equal".

I've been looking for jobs and sendig off applications, but no bites. Which isn't surprising, considering my lack of actual value. The only "bottom tier" positions I can find are all retail/ service stuff that would be the exact same (or worse) hours that I'm working now. And if the late shifts and the general culture of retail/ service is making me miserable here, what point is there to apply for the exact same thing elsewhere? Seems like, no matter where I look, I'm just stuck doing a job I hate, working late hours that wear me down both physically and mentally.

Plus, even if I randomly stumble onto something and manage to move on, chances are, I'll eventually feel the frustration there, because I'll end up in the same spot of being frustrated and unhappy being an "underling" rather than an "equal", feeling taken advantage of, and not "heard" or "valued". God, I really hate my stupid worthless self sometimes.
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd May 2018, 9:14 AM   #10
Established Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inflikted View Post
I'm at a point where I want out of this place. And on one hand, that bums me out, because before all this started, as much I hated working retail/ service in general, it seemed like a solid place to work. I got along well with all my coworkers, I didn't totally hate being there every day... But now? I'm just miserable, internally, the entire time I'm there. Everyone else there gets what they want, but not me. Eventually, when one of them either moves to a new store for a promotion or leaves for something better altogether in the next 6-12 months, I'm sure the newer guy I close with all the time will make a play for earlier shifts, and he'll get it. Then we'll hire someone else, and it'll be me and that new person closing all the time. Ad nauseum.
You've allowed yourself to be treated like a doormat, so that's how they treat you. At this point, there is likely no coming back from it, so your best option is to find another job somewhere else and don't fall into the same habits.

Quote:
And the thing is, I've had conversations with the manager about this stuff back before it was actually an issue. Granted, I guarantee that she'd say she doesn't remember having those conversations. But we did. Maybe I don't "nag" as much about it, but I had that talk with her at least a few times.
Bring it up again. If she doesn't remember saying it, then say it again. Keep saying it until things change. Or find another job.

Quote:
But, truth be told, I'm not mad at her or any of my other coworkers, or anything like that. The reality is, I know it's my failure. This happened at my previous job of 7 years, as well. When I speak about something, nobody ever "hears" me. When I talk to anyone about anything important, it might as well go in one ear and out the other. I never feel "heard". And therefore, I never feel "valued".
Because you continue to let them treat you however they want, so they know they can get away with it. You make yourself "heard" by putting your foot down, refusing to do things, finding another job.

Quote:
But, at work, for instance, I tend to just end up having to do the stuff nobody else wants or cares to do. They "appreciate" in the sense that they're happy they don't have to do it or worry about it.
"I did X task yesterday, so I think A should do it today."

And don't do it. Isn't that what everyone else does? Why don't YOU do that?

Quote:
I've been looking for jobs and sendig off applications, but no bites. Which isn't surprising, considering my lack of actual value. The only "bottom tier" positions I can find are all retail/ service stuff that would be the exact same (or worse) hours that I'm working now. And if the late shifts and the general culture of retail/ service is making me miserable here, what point is there to apply for the exact same thing elsewhere? Seems like, no matter where I look, I'm just stuck doing a job I hate, working late hours that wear me down both physically and mentally.
You've received reams of career advice on this site over the years. You might go back and reread some of it.
__________________
In the end one loves one's desire and not what is desired. -- Nietzsche
clia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th May 2018, 11:15 AM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
Quote:
Originally Posted by clia View Post
You've allowed yourself to be treated like a doormat, so that's how they treat you. At this point, there is likely no coming back from it, so your best option is to find another job somewhere else and don't fall into the same habits.

Bring it up again. If she doesn't remember saying it, then say it again. Keep saying it until things change. Or find another job.

Because you continue to let them treat you however they want, so they know they can get away with it. You make yourself "heard" by putting your foot down, refusing to do things, finding another job.
It doesn't matter how much I say something, or HOW I say something, or what I say, or any of that, though. Regardless of any of that, no one "hears" me. Because they don't value me, or they don't care about me, or they don't respect me, or some combination of all of those things. And again, I understand that the common denominator is me; like I said, this was how it was for the 7-8 years at my previous job, as well.

And what this shows me is that I really don't have any value. I don't deserve to be respected. I don't deserve to be cared about. I'm nothing. I'm worthless. The message has been received.

I do hope I can get out into another job in the near future, but it doesn't really matter, because it's going to be the same wherever I end up. Maybe I'll find something new, but after the initial newness wears off, I'll once again find myself frustrated and bitter because no one cares enough or values me enough or respects me enough to actually "hear" me and treat me like an equal.

Quote:
You've received reams of career advice on this site over the years. You might go back and reread some of it.
Yes, but realistically speaking, I don't have very many options. I could go back to school, but A) I still don't have anything in mind as far as what direction to pursue, and B) at minimum, it would be 2+ years before education would help me get into a better career, so that does nothing to help me RIGHT NOW.

As I said, I've been looking recently and sending off applications to stuff that seems simple enough, like factory jobs, office jobs, "mail room" jobs, whatever. And no one is biting. The only other stuff I can find is just more second shift "service" type work, and that's what I'm trying to get out of in the first place. Nobody cares that I spent the last ten years being a worthless bottom feeding service employee. There's no value in that, and I offer no worthwhile experience beyond continuing to be a worthless bottom feeding service employee. I'm just stuck, and I can't find a way out.
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th May 2018, 11:27 AM   #12
Established Member
 
newlywedder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 110
It does appear you are stuck in a rut. Those service jobs have a tendancy to make you feel inferior quite often. There isn't a career in that unless you want to pursue management.

Have you looked into registering for a part time coding bootcamp? Some can last from 3 months to 9 months.

I do coding for a living and the starting salary is 80k. Some bootcamps will charge you after you find a job and also have scholarships available. I like coding because I don't have to bother with people all day.
newlywedder is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th May 2018, 11:45 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
Quote:
Originally Posted by newlywedder View Post
Have you looked into registering for a part time coding bootcamp? Some can last from 3 months to 9 months.

I do coding for a living and the starting salary is 80k. Some bootcamps will charge you after you find a job and also have scholarships available. I like coding because I don't have to bother with people all day.
I've never heard of a "coding bootcamp". What exactly does that entail?

Also, what actually is coding? What do you do? What's an average day of work entail? Back when I was in college bouncing around IT majors, I had tried programming for a bit, but beyond basic HTML, I couldn't wrap my head around it. Is it something like that?
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th May 2018, 12:07 AM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,451
I did some research on coding bootcamp, and I dunno, it seems a bit... intense, especially for something I don't know that I could do for a living.

That said, typical college programs seem so unappealing to me; for one, I learn better in a hands on setting, rather than the typical lecture/ reading/ written assignment schooling. That and I just no longer have the patience. I get it, education takes time and I can't expect to have things quickly and easily, but I just don't want to have to wait another 2-4+ years to *maybe* benefit from said education.

It's tough, too, because, obviously, education costs money. I went to school for 5 years in my early 20s, and while I didn't get bogged down with tons of debt, it still took a hit on my bank account, and in the end, those educational pursuits amounted to absolutely nothing. I have an extremely hard time justifying that investment, because I don't want to put myself in debt or throw money into something that will be another failed endeavor.

Sigh. To be honest, I'm at a point now where I just constantly feel angry and bitter. I'm snapping at people and becoming cold to the world around me, my temper has become very short, I'm constantly annoyed at everyone and everything around me. I'm just so miserable and bitter, and I know things take time, but I just don't want to spend 2-4 years being miserable and bitter pursuing whatever, only to be even more angry when it turns out that time and money was another waste and nothing comes of it.
Inflikted is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th May 2018, 12:03 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 79
Hi,

I felt that way in my previous job. The industry and the education don't matter. I have a master's degree and I went there wanting to help, so I was really eager to do everything on my plate and much more than that. I did the bulk of the creative work in my team while my manager and her boss spent their time gossiping and presenting my work as their own effort while treating me like their assistant. I think I made the mistake of looking like a doormat and being too eager to please, but I had enough and quit at the worst possible time for them. I had something else lined up before quitting with a much-much better salary. I was looking for a year.

I'm sure there are better workplaces in your area. How about looking into MOOCs on a practical topic, like digital marketing, in your free time? You have a long career in service and that gives you an advantage for how customers think!
gone_girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Doesn't matter how old you are ... mortensorchid Dating 2 14th August 2012 1:27 AM
It doesn't matter! brokendreamz Coping 11 8th July 2011 3:23 PM
Why? How? What? When? (Doesn't matter) EgoJoe Breaks and Breaking Up 1 23rd June 2011 8:23 AM
To all those who think age doesn't matter darby1 Dating 51 28th March 2009 7:24 PM
If Girls Say the Past Doesn't Matter, The Present Becomes the Past so does it matter? chicagoboy777 Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy 3 5th September 2008 1:07 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:39 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.