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Should I tell my bossís wife that heís cheating on her?


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Old 15th February 2018, 11:50 PM   #16
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A couple years?

IMO, if he's not sexually harassing any of the employees in the office, leave it be.

I remember back in the 80's one customer was going through every woman in the office and some of the vendors too and I was pretty impressed by his savvy with the ladies until I found out he was married. Some of the employees were married too, it turned out. Quite an eye-opening to what really goes on in the world. Given the industry, fortunately no one died. Pretty rough.

I would suggest doing some networking to find other potential employment. These things can blow up in an instant. Stuff happens.
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Old 16th February 2018, 1:08 AM   #17
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I donít know what to tell you, except I wouldnít tell her unless I had another job lined up. (Probably not even then, even if I was her and I would want to know. But definitely not before I had another job lined up.) Too much drama.
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Old 16th February 2018, 1:11 AM   #18
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Definitely find another job!
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Old 16th February 2018, 1:40 AM   #19
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Do you have proof that they're having sex? Or is this just a conclusion that you've come to since she hangs around and brings him food?
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Old 16th February 2018, 8:38 AM   #20
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Iíve heard from two other employees that they have sex when everyone else leaves for the day
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Old 16th February 2018, 11:15 AM   #21
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In this situation I don't think I would tell. First because you are risking your job and secondly because you can't prove it. If you give his wife some anonymous letter telling her that her husband is having an affair, he's simply going to deny it and tell her that some crazy person is out to get him. Why would she believe you, an anonymous person, over her husband?
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Old 16th February 2018, 2:20 PM   #22
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You know how my wife and I stay out of trouble? We mind our own business.
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Old 16th February 2018, 2:35 PM   #23
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What would you have to gain from it??


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Old 16th February 2018, 2:46 PM   #24
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Iíd stay out of it, itís their situation
I mean you are not the moral police and have no right to judge them let alone play anonymous tipster
Plus what if they divorce and he loses the company youíll be out a job

Iíd pass and find something else to do why take their affair so personal ?
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Old 16th February 2018, 9:43 PM   #25
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Lets forget your own interest and risks for a minute and talk about the moral issue.

You have your own moral values. Other people have other moral standards. Who are you to force your standards on others? More to that - Who are you to interfere so brutally in other people's lives, possibly ruin 2 families, just because they don't live up to your standards?

If you knew about a case of child abuse, or violence, or other things that are horrible and illegal, then it would have been different. But as far as i know in modern countries the law does not forbid adultery. So what your boss chooses to do in his own private life is perfectly legal.

If they were having sex inside the office, during work hours, then you could have said that it violates your work enviroment, but it is not the case. The only thing that bothers you is that personally you don't like your boss. So do you seek for a revenge or something? Bad bad bad. If it's not revenge, then what is it? Do you want to play Don Quixote, go find real miseries on the streets and fix them.

I think that it's better for you to stay out of it, don't stick your nose, it's none of your business what your boss chooses to do in his own life. Or - quit your job.

Last edited by lolablue17; 16th February 2018 at 9:47 PM..
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Old 17th February 2018, 2:47 AM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliviasmith24 View Post
I’ve heard from two other employees that they have sex when everyone else leaves for the day
So basically everybody knows what is going on? Did those two employees actually 'see' this or are they assuming? Just playing devils advocate here....

Right now it's gossip and even if it's true be 100% that you want to be the one to tell his wife. Just a thought, what if his wife is having an A too, what if they have an open marriage? You never know what is going on inside someone else's home even though in this case it does seem obvious something is going on with your boss and this OW.

Are you friends with his wife? Do you know her at all?

If you're gonna tell, quit your job (make sure you have another job lined up first though!) because when you tell, your boss will find out and fire you and probably try to ruin you and your reputation out of spite.
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Old 17th February 2018, 5:24 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliviasmith24 View Post
If I did it anonymously she wouldnít be able to trace it back to me
If you are not willing to go on the record then you have no business opening your mouth.


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Most places are like that - and who has 5-20 grand to hire a lawyer?
No. All of those statutes cited by Gorilla Theater have fee shifting provisions. If you win, the other side pays your lawyer.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliviasmith24 View Post
Iíve heard from two other employees that they have sex when everyone else leaves for the day
So you have no proof. You are going on hearsay. Another reason to stay out of something that is not your business.

You also don't say how large the company is. If your boss & his wife divorce, she may be entitled to 1/2 the company. If he can't afford to pay that they may have to liquidate the business & there goes your job anyway.

If you are unhappy with his ethics, get a new job stop trying to be the morals police at work.
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Old 17th February 2018, 7:51 AM   #28
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if you want to keep your job then no...and any old email can be traced right back to the computer that sent it..

I'd also bet dollars to donuts the wife also knows.. and you said employees have said they have sex.. so you haven't seen it.. so why base this action to tell the wife on second hand info..
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Old 19th February 2018, 9:05 PM   #29
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I did something like this with no regrets. I went above and beyond in terms of making it anonymous though.

A lot of people told me not to, and I have to say, my instinct would be to tell anyone else not to. But I did, survived, and have 100% confidence that I did the right thing.

It was a very personal decision. There was no real justification, and nothing in it for me, except the sense that I did what I needed to do.
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Old 19th February 2018, 9:39 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lolablue17 View Post
Lets forget your own interest and risks for a minute and talk about the moral issue.

You have your own moral values. Other people have other moral standards. Who are you to force your standards on others? More to that - Who are you to interfere so brutally in other people's lives, possibly ruin 2 families, just because they don't live up to your standards?

If you knew about a case of child abuse, or violence, or other things that are horrible and illegal, then it would have been different. But as far as i know in modern countries the law does not forbid adultery. So what your boss chooses to do in his own private life is perfectly legal.

If they were having sex inside the office, during work hours, then you could have said that it violates your work enviroment, but it is not the case. The only thing that bothers you is that personally you don't like your boss. So do you seek for a revenge or something? Bad bad bad. If it's not revenge, then what is it? Do you want to play Don Quixote, go find real miseries on the streets and fix them.

I think that it's better for you to stay out of it, don't stick your nose, it's none of your business what your boss chooses to do in his own life. Or - quit your job.

This. Just because you find behavior objectionable, it gives you no right to blow things up.

Why aren't you focusing more on your job than office gossip? Unless you have first hand knowledge all you have is hearsay. Regardless, this should have zero impact on you. Best served to mind your own business.
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