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Co-Worker Is Taking Over My Job


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Hi! I been a contractor a this job for more than nine months now and it has been going great, until a new co-worker was hired last month. He has the same job as me, which is a UI/UX designer but is working for another manager.

 

For whatever reason, they merged his manager's people and my manager's people together into one team. His manager doesn't have anything ready for him to do yet so he has been welcome to work on the website that my manager is responsible for.

 

Before this guy was hired, whom is named Kevin, I was the only designer on the team so was responsible for designing all the UI/UX for everyone. There wasn't many projects, so on the side, I would do styling in CSS on the website we are building for the company.

 

Now, everyone goes to Kevin for all the UI/UX design and all the styling so I have no work to do. I been doing training on my own because of this problem I am having. I am also the only female on the team as well, please note.

 

We are in an Agile/SCRUM environment so each week we are assigned projects. Kevin was assigned to design the website with me and this other guy who does Front End Development named Lance. He decided to team up with the guy only and left me out of the project.

 

After which seemed like begging, I was thrown a few "bones" of work like an icon set and writing copy for some parts of the site. I got done with those quickly but he ignored any other requests to help with anything else. Kevin and Lance decided they would design the whole website themselves.

 

On Thursday, I had an emotional outburst during a meeting when they were assigning tasks on the board. Only Kevin and Lance's name were up on the board under the project. I think they decided that they just wanted to work by themselves and not with me.

 

It made me so upset that I yelled out and alerted my boss that Kevin has been taking all my work. I said I had nothing to do anymore and that I was worried I was going to be fired. Then, I started sobbing in a heap of tears in front of everyone!

 

My boss told everyone to get out and talked with me about what has been going on. He said that I am not going to be fired but in the process of being hired on to the company. I am contractor right now. He said he would talk to Kevin and Lance about including me in the project.

 

I am now wondering what you would do in this situation. Would you look for work elsewhere or see if things improve here? I think I got myself here because I am not assertive at all and let Kevin do this to me. I'm worried that everyone thinks I am weak and a big baby for crying in front of them too. :( I feel like I am not valued at this job because Kevin seems to be better than me at designing and styling so that is why people have been preferring his work over mine.

Edited by newlywedder
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Yes I would start looking for work else where. They are certainly not going to keep you around with hardly anything to do regardless of what your boss told you. I think the emotional outbreak along with the crying was a bit too much. Especially if your boss had to ask everyone to leave. That certainly didn't help your case and made you look weak.

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Work on being more calmly assertive - yes, you can get another job but the same dynamic may occur and it's best to learn how to address it. While the outburst wasn't the way to get your concerns across (although it's understandable to be stressed and upset about what's been going on), I would be upfront with Kevin: "I'm having trouble getting responses from you about my potential contributions towards (specific project). How can we address this so that we can move forward on this project?" It then puts him on notice that you're peers and should be acting like team players.

 

If he continues to ignore or to only delegate small tasks, I would be clear with your supervisors that a) you've repeatedly offered assistance on several projects, only to be either ignored or turned down and b) your desire to make substantive contributions to these projects. Focus the conversation where it rightly belongs on the lack of effective team building and cooperation and take note if the dynamic changes. If not, it's time to start looking for better opportunities.

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While I was reading your post I got the feeling that this is a bit of a boys club where the team members sort of consciously or subconsciously felt more comfortable and secure dealing with other men. Unfortunately your emotional outburst likely only confirmed their belief that women are not competent or that women are too emotional to be good team leaders or members.

 

I'm not judging you. Many Years ago I had an emotional meltdown at work in front of my manager and supervisor. I still cringe when I think about it. I realized later that I should have addressed the problems I was having long before I got to that state of frustration. I would advise you to do the same going forward. Do your best to continue to address this situation with your boss in a calm professional manner. Maybe after some time has passed your outburst will be forgotten and things will get better. I would still keep your ears open for other jobs though.

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@Anika99 ~ Yes it does feel like a boys club but everyone has been very nice to me. The job was going great and really awesome before Kevin came aboard. Now, I don't know my place on the team and feel left out on things. Sorry to hear about your meltdown. That sounds like it was quit painful and I bet it still upsets you. I have a phone interview for another job tomorrow during lunch so I will see what happens.

 

@O'Malley ~ That's great advice!

 

@stillafool ~ That is true. I'm trying to learn new skills so I can bring more to the team and any other team or company I may join the future. My boss knows I am paying a lot of my own money for schooling.

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I am now wondering what you would do in this situation. Would you look for work elsewhere or see if things improve here? I think I got myself here because I am not assertive at all and let Kevin do this to me. I'm worried that everyone thinks I am weak and a big baby for crying in front of them too. :( I feel like I am not valued at this job because Kevin seems to be better than me at designing and styling so that is why people have been preferring his work over mine.

 

I am not certain about your line or work, but contractor work is largely on an at-needed basis, correct? If they brought someone else on in a permanent role, it sounds like they no longer need the contractor.

 

If you are a contractor, I would think you should always be on the look out for other work that will keep you busy, and in all honesty is probably better and will make you more money. As a contractor I would think one advantage would be that future employers would not spend a lot of time asking why you left your former employer.

Edited by TheFinalWord
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Update on this:

 

We have the website launch date coming up on Monday so I been trying to work with Kevin and Lance. They still won't include me so I been asking other team members how I can help with the site. I don't want to go to my boss again for help because I don't want to look whiny or needy. I think Kevin is a huge jerk and he talks down to me. I hate working with him anyways.

 

I feel horrible that my hands are tied here and I can't really contribute as much as I could. Kevin insists on doing everything himself and doesn't want me to have any part it seems. He over-writes my code that I have done on the site as well. I worry that my boss might think that I'm not a good team member after the website is finished with because of this.

 

I'm trying to see if things improve after this website is over with and all we have is the upkeep and maintenance. I worry what I will be doing each day because Kevin keeps taking all the work that I used to do here. There does not seem to be a light at the end of this tunnel.

 

Right now I am looking for other jobs but they are not paying as much as what I'm making here, located too far away or require skills I don't have. If only Kevin was not hired, my job would be going good right now. UGGHHH!! :mad:

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Hi! I been a contractor a this job for more than nine months now and it has been going great, until a new co-worker was hired last month. He has the same job as me, which is a UI/UX designer but is working for another manager.

 

For whatever reason, they merged his manager's people and my manager's people together into one team. His manager doesn't have anything ready for him to do yet so he has been welcome to work on the website that my manager is responsible for.

 

Before this guy was hired, whom is named Kevin, I was the only designer on the team so was responsible for designing all the UI/UX for everyone. There wasn't many projects, so on the side, I would do styling in CSS on the website we are building for the company.

 

Now, everyone goes to Kevin for all the UI/UX design and all the styling so I have no work to do. I been doing training on my own because of this problem I am having. I am also the only female on the team as well, please note.

 

We are in an Agile/SCRUM environment so each week we are assigned projects. Kevin was assigned to design the website with me and this other guy who does Front End Development named Lance. He decided to team up with the guy only and left me out of the project.

 

After which seemed like begging, I was thrown a few "bones" of work like an icon set and writing copy for some parts of the site. I got done with those quickly but he ignored any other requests to help with anything else. Kevin and Lance decided they would design the whole website themselves.

 

On Thursday, I had an emotional outburst during a meeting when they were assigning tasks on the board. Only Kevin and Lance's name were up on the board under the project. I think they decided that they just wanted to work by themselves and not with me.

 

It made me so upset that I yelled out and alerted my boss that Kevin has been taking all my work. I said I had nothing to do anymore and that I was worried I was going to be fired. Then, I started sobbing in a heap of tears in front of everyone!

 

My boss told everyone to get out and talked with me about what has been going on. He said that I am not going to be fired but in the process of being hired on to the company. I am contractor right now. He said he would talk to Kevin and Lance about including me in the project.

 

I am now wondering what you would do in this situation. Would you look for work elsewhere or see if things improve here? I think I got myself here because I am not assertive at all and let Kevin do this to me. I'm worried that everyone thinks I am weak and a big baby for crying in front of them too. :( I feel like I am not valued at this job because Kevin seems to be better than me at designing and styling so that is why people have been preferring his work over mine.

 

Really pull yourself together man what the heck is your problem. Let them love Kevin over you so what the fudge! Now grow some and you can get a better job as User Interface and User Experience Expert. Why settle for this position they don't want you there so you just leave. Do not show him the ropes either. Your done get up and leave.

 

Your in hot demand right now you can get such a better position with higher paid and more. as UI/UX.. Android is hot you know today if you got those skills or even IOS too under your belt.

 

What's really troubling that your crying over a job no one really cares that your unhappy so you need to move on dude. Really are you so weak, come on now get some self-esteem and confidence your talents/skills set.

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It's incredibly frustrating to work with people like this! However, there will always be some version of Kevin in your work life. The key is to figure out how you are going to deal with him and them in general.

 

How is Kevin getting more work than you if you're in an Agile/Scrum environment?

  • Is he being proactive while you're waiting for others to give you an assignment?
  • Does he have better relationships with others than you do? Does he hang out with them outside the confines of your project. Is he attentive and responsive to their concerns and questions? Is he communicating more than you are? Being more visible than you are?

There are other potential reasons for the dynamic you're experiencing, but most often, it's one or both of these two that's at play.

 

I don't know your age, but that would be helpful to know in this particular situation.

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Yes, Possibly Kevin has been more aggressive in getting work, and so others have developed confidence in him. And his eagerness transmitting to others a possible outcome of quality and timeliness. Naturally it's hard know.

 

While you are submitting applications for other jobs, and taking interviews - and if you have no work: Are you able to observe Kevin's work?

 

If you are able to view Kevin's ongoing or finished projects to notice his style, or how you would do the same, differently. Use the time to learn from Kevin, or assurance in your own style and ideas.

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Really pull yourself together man what the heck is your problem. Let them love Kevin over you so what the fudge! Now grow some and you can get a better job as User Interface and User Experience Expert. Why settle for this position they don't want you there so you just leave. Do not show him the ropes either. Your done get up and leave.

 

Your in hot demand right now you can get such a better position with higher paid and more. as UI/UX.. Android is hot you know today if you got those skills or even IOS too under your belt.

 

What's really troubling that your crying over a job no one really cares that your unhappy so you need to move on dude. Really are you so weak, come on now get some self-esteem and confidence your talents/skills set.

 

I do web design and development so have been getting lots of calls for other jobs. I haven't seen anything that paid as much yet so am still looking. I might just settle for less here.

 

You are right that I haven't been feeling confident and am lacking self-esteem because of this awful co-worker. I'm just feeling stuck right now. :(

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It's incredibly frustrating to work with people like this! However, there will always be some version of Kevin in your work life. The key is to figure out how you are going to deal with him and them in general.

 

How is Kevin getting more work than you if you're in an Agile/Scrum environment?

  • Is he being proactive while you're waiting for others to give you an assignment?
  • Does he have better relationships with others than you do? Does he hang out with them outside the confines of your project. Is he attentive and responsive to their concerns and questions? Is he communicating more than you are? Being more visible than you are?

There are other potential reasons for the dynamic you're experiencing, but most often, it's one or both of these two that's at play.

 

I don't know your age, but that would be helpful to know in this particular situation.

 

I'm 35 years old and yes, I am acting like a baby here. I just hate how this guy brings out the worst in me. I am all irritable and angry when I get to work. I hate working with him because he over steps boundaries by taking over work that was assigned to me. I'm just tired of it all.

 

It helps that he is a guy and everyone else is a guy too. I try to communicate the best I can but it doesn't help that I am penis-less. Everyone prefers his design for everything. I'm a lame duck with nothing to offer anyone here.

 

He is being proactive I have noticed by coming up with his own projects. That was how he got to design the whole site himself. Everyone chooses to work with him over me!

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I hope you are still looking for another job. I have a feeling they aren't going to need you much longer.

 

Yes I have been looking but was promised I would be hired here next month. Kevin can't be hired because he has no degree. After his contract is over with, he is gone. That is the only light at the end of this tunnel, that he is limited here.

 

I don't think I should leave just because of Kevin since he is a temporary worker. I am going to be a full time permanent employee soon.

 

I need some tactics on how to deal with Kevin and his rudeness. He has no social skills whatsoever and is so controlling.

 

He takes over work that was assigned to me and makes me feel badly for speaking up about it. I'm just so tired of him redesigning all the work that I have done since starting here. He thinks he is the world's best designer or something and has no respect for me.

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Yes, Possibly Kevin has been more aggressive in getting work, and so others have developed confidence in him. And his eagerness transmitting to others a possible outcome of quality and timeliness. Naturally it's hard know.

 

While you are submitting applications for other jobs, and taking interviews - and if you have no work: Are you able to observe Kevin's work?

 

If you are able to view Kevin's ongoing or finished projects to notice his style, or how you would do the same, differently. Use the time to learn from Kevin, or assurance in your own style and ideas.

His style is very corporate with no creativity at all. I guess that is what people here love. I have an art background so try to be more creative with my designs. Having to stick with his boring design choices on this website kills me.

 

He sits much further away from me which is the only saving grace here. I don't know what I would do if he were sitting by me. I would lose it for sure.

 

That's a good idea to learn his style too so it can help me in future endeavors. It just makes me want to tear out my hair that he keeps redesigning all my work and taking projects on that were assigned to me.

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I feel your pain. I work in a nearly all-male environment. I hate to say it, but you have to be WAY tougher than they are. Ruthless, even. It is difficult to do, especially if you are not naturally assertive. Since you've broken down and cried in front of everyone, it looks really bad and makes it so much harder to get their respect. My usual technique for dealing with men at work is sarcasm and dry humor - I can't let them see a crack in the armor. Plus, being lesbian, it's doubly difficult....

 

My GF#1 is a designer - not of web pages, but of other things. I don't even pretend to understand the work that she does, but she has been happy and successful working as a contractor. She is able to work from home, set her own hours, and rarely has to do a video conference with the people she is working for. She can break her work into 2 hours blocks, go for a run, or whatever she wants to do. Perhaps you would be happier looking for a situation like that?

 

If you have to stick with your job, here's a couple of things. First, learn what the company wants, not what you would prefer to do. It sucks, but if Kevin's style is their thing - be Kevin, but be a better one. Second, get ruthless. Kevin has got to go! I believe it was John D. Rockefeller who said that "competition is a sin." Engineer Kevin's way out the door....whether that means he leaves, gets fired, transferred, or his contract expires. Any way to get him out of your space. You will definitely need a friend to help with this. Since you are female, sexual harassment is always a good way, but it has to be believable.

 

Fortunately, if he has no degree and they can't hire him, then they will probably choose you if they don't have other candidates. If I were you, I would find out if there are other candidates. If so, then I might be more worried about that than Kevin.

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I feel your pain. I work in a nearly all-male environment. I hate to say it, but you have to be WAY tougher than they are. Ruthless, even. It is difficult to do, especially if you are not naturally assertive. Since you've broken down and cried in front of everyone, it looks really bad and makes it so much harder to get their respect. My usual technique for dealing with men at work is sarcasm and dry humor - I can't let them see a crack in the armor. Plus, being lesbian, it's doubly difficult....

 

My GF#1 is a designer - not of web pages, but of other things. I don't even pretend to understand the work that she does, but she has been happy and successful working as a contractor. She is able to work from home, set her own hours, and rarely has to do a video conference with the people she is working for. She can break her work into 2 hours blocks, go for a run, or whatever she wants to do. Perhaps you would be happier looking for a situation like that?

 

If you have to stick with your job, here's a couple of things. First, learn what the company wants, not what you would prefer to do. It sucks, but if Kevin's style is their thing - be Kevin, but be a better one. Second, get ruthless. Kevin has got to go! I believe it was John D. Rockefeller who said that "competition is a sin." Engineer Kevin's way out the door....whether that means he leaves, gets fired, transferred, or his contract expires. Any way to get him out of your space. You will definitely need a friend to help with this. Since you are female, sexual harassment is always a good way, but it has to be believable.

 

Fortunately, if he has no degree and they can't hire him, then they will probably choose you if they don't have other candidates. If I were you, I would find out if there are other candidates. If so, then I might be more worried about that than Kevin.

 

Yes I need to grow a thicker skin fast. Kevin doesn't care that he is hurting my feelings at all. I called him out on sniping my work again yesterday and then he turned it around on me. He said I wasn't being professional. I was like WTF?!

 

I am not the one stealing and redoing someone else's work here. I was trying to stand up for myself and get more assertive. He is friends with most everyone on the team and they all love him too so I have no support. I bet he told everyone I got upset with him.

 

I'm on friendly terms with someone hirer up than my boss so maybe I can report Kevin's behavior. He isn't being a team player, is stepping on my toes constantly and is so difficult to work with. He doesn't want any input from anyone else and thinks only his opinion matters. I am just so sick and tired of his poor attitude. I get along with everyone else on the team and heard that he was stealing the ideas of one other person.

 

It has been 2 months already so countdown to 10 months until he is gone hopefully. There is a chance he could get his contract extended another year. I fear if I report his toxic behavior then I could be seen as someone who is whiny and difficult myself.

 

I have been confirmed that I will get hired once the hiring freeze is over with here. The job is really great and I like the laid back work environment. The only negative aspect is this toxic co-worker.

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Kevin is obviously taking advantage of the laid back work environment, and is being assertive.

 

It would seem you cannot over-ride him, unless you come up with better and/or more aggressive ideas for the projects.

 

It would also seem that you cannot depend on his leaving or your staying, this far ahead.

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Kevin is obviously taking advantage of the laid back work environment, and is being assertive.

 

It would seem you cannot over-ride him, unless you come up with better and/or more aggressive ideas for the projects.

 

It would also seem that you cannot depend on his leaving or your staying, this far ahead.

 

Yeah so true! I have been here 10 months already myself and was told I'd be hired on once the hiring freeze is over. I don't think they will hire me if they knew that I'm just no longer of any value to this company. Kevin has made sure of that.

 

I found out today that he manipulated his way into getting to redesign another of my projects that I had done since starting here. I thought of submitting some redesigns as well for it but I don't want to stoop to his level if he has already been officially tasked with it. I have class unlike him. :(

 

Thanks for all of the feedback here, I think my next steps is to look for another job. I'm just throwing in the towel on this toxic individual. I have been in the business 15 years and have NEVER encountered someone so devious and hell-bent on destroying another's job as Kevin. I try to be nice to him but it backfires the next day. God forbid I will run across such a creep like this in a future position.

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Well... sounds like you are leaving - but don't just blame this on Kevin, use it as a learning experience.

 

You know that movie where Tom Hanks yells “there is no crying in baseball!!”

 

Yeah that – you really got to get control over your emotions.

 

I too work in a male dominated field, often with men 15-30 years my senior. I had to learn how to be assertive, to be HERD, to demand respect.

 

Part of that is getting a handle of your emotions. DO NOT CRY AT WORK.

 

Again, do not cry at work. It makes you appear weak, unable to control yourself, unstable and not dependable.

 

You can’t let this guy get under your skin. You can’t arrive at work in a bad mood. I have a saying “attitude affects everything”.

 

It affects the way you carry yourself, the way you are received by others, your emotions, and your performance. If you are coming in with a bad attitude – well, that is someone people don’t want to work with. Its also important to be a team player. Recognize the work of your coworkers and freely give them accolades. Make alliances, even with people you may not “like”. Work is a place to be professional – these aren’t your friends, they are your colleges and they demand a different kind of interaction.

 

The best thing you can do is arrive every day with a positive “have the tiger by the tail” attitude and do your best to kick butt! That also means no whining. And supporting your team.

 

Instead of blurting out and crying during a meeting (which is mortifying for everyone) – you need to be able to keep it together. Go to your boss in a CALM demeanor and explain how you love the work, and how you are eager to get on more projects and prove that you can exceed their expectations.

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Thanks for all of the feedback here, I think my next steps is to look for another job. I'm just throwing in the towel on this toxic individual. I have been in the business 15 years and have NEVER encountered someone so devious and hell-bent on destroying another's job as Kevin. I try to be nice to him but it backfires the next day. God forbid I will run across such a creep like this in a future position.

 

I don't know if he is hell bent on destroying your job or just a go getter who doesn't let anyone get in the way of his goals. You will meet more people like this in your professional life so it is best to learn now how to handle them and how to leave your emotions at home.

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I found out today that he manipulated his way into getting to redesign another of my projects that I had done since starting here. I thought of submitting some redesigns as well for it but I don't want to stoop to his level if he has already been officially tasked with it. I have class unlike him. :(

 

I..... have NEVER encountered someone so devious and hell-bent on destroying another's job as Kevin. I try to be nice to him but it backfires the next day. God forbid I will run across such a creep like this in a future position.

 

OK... not to deepen the wound here, but it might be time to get over your ethics. The whole "stoop to their level" comment is usually made by someone who is powerless in their situation, and uses ethics as an excuse not to step up and do the dirty work necessary to make changes.

 

Work in almost any environment is a screwed up mess. Chances are, you will encounter another Kevin in another workplace. You will need to pick a time to stand up and fight. Yes, Kevin is devious. That's why he is succeeding!!! You don't get much in the world of work by being nice....but you still have to look like you are nice, even when you are nasty. In other words, in the world of work it is quite often the liars, cheats, sociopaths and hypocrites that rise to the top. Also, work usually isn't about what you know, but about who you know. By your description, Kevin has spent his time catering to the client's needs and making connections - what you should have done.

 

As I said earlier, if you can't change the way you work, you might need to change where/how you work. My GF#1 simply can't work in the kind of environment where I work - she's too sweet and she can't deal with the nasty nature of people. She found an alternative - so can you!

 

Wherever you go from here, and whatever you do, you have the power to make changes. There are other jobs out there if you choose to leave. If you take some of what you have learned with you, then it won't be a loss.

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I know the feeling OP. I have someone trying to take over a project I own. Luckily in my case my boss knows and will defend that project is mine. But this guy is still trying to take it over.

 

I agree with the others in that don't cry. These guys work on the respect system so you need to demand it.

 

If you can't be of help in that team, would you boss either be able to carve out something you own on that team? Can you at least get a user story or two of your own?

 

Could you take another project or switch teams? Is there something else web-based that's going on where you could contribute?

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Here is an update on the situation:

 

I decided to have lunch with Kevin and told him he has been doing some things that are making it hard to work for me. He was really understanding and we have been getting along better.

 

He confessed that he has a brain disorder that causes him to act slow sometimes. He also said he didn't think working together was beneficial for the product to launch. I explained that it was necessary so I think he got it. This was last week so I haven't had many problems with him. His personality is controlling and overly perfectionistic. I am the opposite so it is no wonder we did not get along.

 

I read this book called "Impossible to please: How to deal with perfectionist coworkers, controlling spouses and other incredibly critical people" and it has really helped. I recommend everyone get a kindle copy if they are having the same problems.

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I know the feeling OP. I have someone trying to take over a project I own. Luckily in my case my boss knows and will defend that project is mine. But this guy is still trying to take it over.

 

I agree with the others in that don't cry. These guys work on the respect system so you need to demand it.

 

If you can't be of help in that team, would you boss either be able to carve out something you own on that team? Can you at least get a user story or two of your own?

 

Could you take another project or switch teams? Is there something else web-based that's going on where you could contribute?

 

There is only one team here because it is a small company. I don't think that is an option. It would be great though. While Kevin and I will never be friends, I understand him better and the book I mentioned in the previous post helped me.

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