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Family business issues

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Old 29th April 2017, 11:32 AM   #1
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 16
Family business issues

I started working for my family business about 4 years ago, first off it was part time alongside another job (chef) and College (in the UK). after completing college I moved into a full time position in the family business I have been working full time for 3 years now. I have never in my life known what I wanted to do (well I always wanted to be a pilot but ill talk about that later) so when the opportunity came to work in the business I took it. From day one I have never really wanted to be there, the business is involved with agriculture and it is my Grandad and my Mum that I work with, yes just the 3 of us. As you maybe able to imagine this can sometimes be quite boring and tedious, what we do has a very technical side to it which I do not have the brains to fully understand and to be honest I have never wanted to fully understand it. I will hold my hands up and admit that I have been lazy in the job, and I hate to admit that because I am a very hard working switched on individual.

I have never really wanted to be in this job, I have always known that it isn't what I wanted to do and yet 4 years have gone by and I havn't taken any action, I have gone to leave about 4 times but every time I stop myself because I have no clue what else I would do and my trusted friends who I can be honest with tell me that I am in such a good position and one that they are very jealous of me for because I will be handed this business one day. The problem is do I want to be handed this business, when the time comes (when Gdad dies because he'll never retire, and when mum wants to retire) will I actually want all of the responsibility, will I actually do a proper job and have the get up and go to run the business on my own. Another reason I have never left is because I think it would break my Gdad's heart, I dont think he knows that I have any doubts about this not being my future and I am incredibly scared that he will never want to talk to me again if I was to make the decision to leave, my mum does know that I have some doubts but I have never been 100% honest with her.

To my pilot bit, the only thing I ever wanted to do was be a pilot but when
I was younger the optician said I couldn't so I kind of gave up and it just stayed a dream in my head. but a month ago I thought f*ck it I need to find out for sure and went for a medical and would you believe it I passed. (I'm 23 now by the way). I have mentioned this to my mum and she thinks I am acting on a whim and that I don't want to be a pilot, that somehow I have just made this up in my head and she was also in shock and said "but I thought your future was with me"

I am stuck in a very complicated situation where I don't really want to be where I am in work but feel extremely stuck and like I need to stay there to please other people, I feel like I cannot follow my dreams and make my life what I want it to be. Semi unrelated but I am going through a break up which has completely destroyed my sense of self worth, before the break up I knew I didn't want to be at work but I was a very happy person and very confident and put it all to the back of my mind, but now I have the added pressure and misery of this it has made me terribly miserable in my work and very down as a person, my confidence has gone which makes it very hard to do the job.

I cannot decide wether it is best for me to to take the plunge and leave, I don't want to do it and regret it down the line but ultimately I am not happy and never really have been but I don't want to upset all of my family (my therapist says i always put everyone before me). I feel like if I leave i will be an utter failure in life and let everyone down.

I am utterly stuck in my own head and it is going round in circles and I cannot make the decision but for my own sanity I feel like I have to leave but I am terribly scared of possibly throwing away the best thing that could of been.
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Old 29th April 2017, 2:52 PM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 8,603
Your main problem could be that you haven't prepared yourself for any other career.

Perhaps you should take pilot training on your off time, or pursue another occupation or dream, as part time - then slowly ease into it.

If I were your family I would be happy if you find a career you are successful and comfortable with.

An original family inspiration or interest, isn't necessarily passed down to offspring.

Last edited by UpwardForward; 29th April 2017 at 2:56 PM..
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