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Intentions of my bosses????


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guest2121

I don't know what to think of my bosses actions towards me. While at work we talk and joke around everything is fine, but when we are at a company party or what not, he doesn't even really talk to me. He is married and his wife is with him during these events. When his wife is not around he will talk to me but when she comes back into the room, no talking what so ever. Another thing is when we are in meetings together he will always look at me while he is talking and just look on my side of the room and always back at me. This is my first job with a big company, I don't know how to take him. Should I me concerned with these actions or not at all? I really like my job and I don't want to do anything to mess it up. Could it be he wants to start something with me? If this is the case, how do I talk to him to let him know that I am not interested at all.

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LucreziaBorgia

Maybe he has had affairs before and was caught? Is his friendliness and joking around sexual in nature? Even it if isn't - It sounds to me like he doesn't want to give his wife anything to be suspicious about, and if she's the suspicious type - then he will avoid you like the plague to go out of his way to make sure his wife has nothing to 'suspect'.

 

If you don't want to start something up, then let your actions match your words. Distance yourself physically by avoiding all non-professional contact and emotionally be removing yourself when the 'joking' starts. Strictly professional. If he continues even after this or amps up his efforts, then tell him that you value your job, you would like for him to stop. If he continues, document everything and take your case to HR.

 

Sounds easy, eh? The more you happen to enjoy his attention and 'joking' the harder it will be for you, but necessary if you want to stop thing before they even get started.

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guest2121

That's what I thought as well, about him not wanting to have his wife be wondering, but we have a lady who flirts with everyone and he has told people that his wife would not like this lady having a position working so close to him, but he talks to her and jokes around with her while his wife is around. Me and the other lady have the same job. Yes, he does joke and play around, that is his nature. Could it be that he really does like me? Should I talk to him about this or just let it go?

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LucreziaBorgia
Could it be that he really does like me?

 

Do you want him to? You'll have to be perfectly honest with yourself about this. You won't truly get him to stop if you don't really want him to.

 

If you have no interest in him whether he likes you or not, then refuse to return his 'joking' and cut things down to a strictly professional level. He won't come after you if you give him no reason to.

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