LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Would you report this to HR?


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree10Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 31st March 2017, 1:41 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 643
Quote:
Originally Posted by Got it View Post
As an HR executive I advise you to report to HR as well as report to your boss. Even though this is two women, this is actually sexual harassment and implying a quid pro quo arrangement which you say never happened.

Their behavior is inappropriate and should be reported. HR is not a shop steward like a union rep would be so isn't there for the employees in that manner but HR is there to help protect the company and this type of behavior is not in the companies best interest.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to.

I was thrown a sort of ''going away'' party by my current co-workers yesterday and afterwards I heard that they were talking about how ''of course they're sad, their favorite merry-go-round is leaving'', ''XY (the boss) must be devastated that she's moving on to more powerful d***'' and so on. More than one person reported it back to me.

Pretty gross and I can't understand where would they get this from? I seriously never had anything going on with ANY of my co-workers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NTV View Post
So... do they make enough money to warrant a defamation suit?
I would never go that far as to sue them, like I'd waste that kind of time and energy on these two idiots.
noelle303 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31st March 2017, 2:06 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by noelle303 View Post
I'm pretty sure I'm going to.

I was thrown a sort of ''going away'' party by my current co-workers yesterday and afterwards I heard that they were talking about how ''of course they're sad, their favorite merry-go-round is leaving'', ''XY (the boss) must be devastated that she's moving on to more powerful d***'' and so on. More than one person reported it back to me.

Pretty gross and I can't understand where would they get this from? I seriously never had anything going on with ANY of my co-workers.



I would never go that far as to sue them, like I'd waste that kind of time and energy on these two idiots.
They are toxic and you are most likely not their only victim. They need to be reported and reprimanded.

Wow, way to support other women and lean in there? Disgusting humans.
Got it is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 5th April 2017, 5:15 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,364
I don't think there are very many instances in which I would report anything to HR. Why would you want to be known as a troublemaker / person with issues by the department that can fire you?

So what if they are talking ****. You're the one who got a promotion, right?

And even if you did sleep with your boss for a promotion, who cares. You certainly wouldn't be the first woman to use sex for an advantage, and you certainly won't be the last.

If you're married, well, that just sucks for your husband but we aren't talking about that, are we!?
__________________
Yes, I try to write my replies in rhyme!
DrReplyInRhymes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2017, 1:37 PM   #19
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
Why haven't you confronted the women who are spreading these lies?

If it's not true and you feel this gossip is interfering with your job, then by all means talk with the gossipers to close the subject. Put everything down in writing and if the gossipers continue spreading lies, then take it to HR.

See with gossip, it gets twisted once it comes out of the first persons mouth. By the time you hear it again, it has taken on a total different form of more lies. You cannot stop someone from gossiping, looking at you or saying something in private negatively about you but you can go to work without being harassed or humiliated.

I wish you luck in any way you chose to handle the situation.

WB
WarriorBabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 6th April 2017, 2:15 PM   #20
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Mirkwood
Posts: 353
FIgure out exactly what you would be reporting - not just what happened and who did it, but how it negatively affected you and how it's illegal or otherwise contrary to company policy.

Second, as another commenter already suggested, figure out before you report it what you expect the company to do about it.

Third, how solid is your proof? Do you have witnesses who will give statements supporting your claim, specific as to date, time, place, people, and exact words spoken? These solid supporting sources can vanish into the mist.

Companies have wildly different internal policies about what constitutes a conduct issue, and what minimally will be done about it.

Personally, I've worked for employers ranging from 15 employees to 110,000 employees, and none of them would have taken any action in the situation you describe. Morover, if you report it as a violation of law, you'll effectively make yourself the enemy of the company, a risk to be minimized. I've been there.

It's gossip, which simply means that it's information of a personal or intimate nature. Some managers have no-gossip rules for their teams or work units, but they're totally unenforceable - a mom telling a pregnant co-worker about her c-section is arguably gossip. It gets ridiculous pretty fast.

My bottom line recommendation is this: it's not what they call you that counts, but rather what you answer to. Some people just like to irritate other people. Do you want to answer to this, to repeat their words, to give them what they want?

Last edited by Telemachus; 6th April 2017 at 2:18 PM..
Telemachus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2017, 12:42 AM   #21
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 58,027
Quote:
Originally Posted by noelle303 View Post
It's not just gossip if it ends up hurting my relationship with my new co-workers and people who I will be supervising - in terms of how they see me and whether they respect me.

It's not very nice to be thought of as someone who slept her way to get ahead.
Then it's up to YOU as their new supervisor to put them in their place. That you've heard the gossip they've been saying about you and it's got to stop. You earn their trust and respect by being a leader and not showing them that they've upset you.

Your actions from now on count. If you're really ready for the position and good at your job, then what they shouldn't matter. YOU Know you didn't sleep your way to the top, right? You and your boss didn't have an affair so forget their gossip.

Later if they are disrespectful towards you (like in a few months or so) then you deal with them by giving warnings (verbal then written) and hopefully that will be the end of it.

Going to HR now will do nothing except make it worse.


You don't 'confront' them, that WILL cause drama. You wait until someone gives you lip or attitude and then you make sure they understand in a professional manner. Those co workers now are not friends since you'll be their boss.

Most of all, learn to grow a tough skin and detach from them so you won't be feeling upset by their gossip.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th April 2017, 4:42 AM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: NYC
Posts: 335
Going to HR should be the very last resort and only for extreme cases. Too many people nowadays are too trigger happy to run to HR for every drama that happens in corporate America.

I'm all for writing down the incident(s) in a private journal in the event things go awry later on but keep it private for now.

Be a leader. Show strength. You'll run into idle gossip and people who despise you at all levels in life. There are 2 people I work with who despise me and my ability to move up the ladder. I pay them no mind. They want a reaction out of me. I starve them the emotional investment.

Don't let them dictate your every move or cause you to be on the defensive.
loverboy69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2017, 4:32 PM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 643
Well, long story short, it ended up being that one of my work friends has a friend in the HR and I mentioned it to him and he ended up giving them a verbal warning. He actually said that what they said falls under ''abusive language'' and he can give them a written warning for it, but I told him that I believe a verbal warning will scare them enough to think twice before they open their mouths about other people again.

I know that it might seem like I'm being petty and oversensitive, but I'm really not. I actually do have think skin and rarely care about what others think of me. However, I also think that it's important not to let people get away with nasty behavior that can seriously affect other people.
noelle303 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 8th April 2017, 5:00 PM   #24
Established Member
 
SoleMate's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,709
Glad to hear your update, you did the right thing and so did your company. I hope there is no more heard of this line of abusive gossip.
__________________
Heavily medicated for your safety.
SoleMate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th April 2017, 8:30 AM   #25
New Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 3
I would just ignore it if I was you, you're moving on to better things now.
Roger72 is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Report Ex MM? hello214 The Other Man / Woman 103 15th February 2016 12:24 AM
Should I report this?? Chloe89 Family 27 15th June 2006 11:57 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 7:29 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.