rh205 Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 I am thinking about buying something like a box of chocolates for my colleagues as when I was having trouble with regards to false allegations being made against me by a patients relative they decided to stick by me (despite not knowing exactly what had happened) when they could have quite easily of distanced themselves from it. I believe they did this because they know me well enough to be able to conclude that I would never do what was being alleged. Several of them immediately came to check I was alright. It was clear that they weren't simply being nosy as the conversation revolved around me and they weren't interested in what had happened. Ever since a few have been checking that I'm alright and helping me with my jobs wherever they can. Its as if they stood by me at the time and are now going the extra mile to help and support me. I feel that our working relationship has grown stronger because of it and I enjoy my job and working with the team more than ever. Although it is only certain colleagues who have helped, I wonder if it would be best to take a diplomatic approach and give the gift to the whole team rather than selected individuals as I don't want any allegations of favoritism etc. In other words make it look like a gift for everyone so as not to offend anyone. What are your thoughts on this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 23, 2017 Share Posted March 23, 2017 Hum, I regularly buy gifts for coworkers (I hate to say "subordinates" but people I supervise in my role as a project manager). I buy wine, gift baskets, chocolates etc - with a note about how I really appreciate their efforts and contributions for getting the project done on time, creating happy customers etc. Being as I have to "manage" them without actually being their boss, it's part of my "more flies with honey" or carrot vs. stick approach to motivating people. For my circumstance I think it's quite appropriate. For yours.... A "thank you for sticking by me and not believing my accuser" - I think it's a little stickier. How well do you know them? Could you all go to a happy hour, or could you take everyone out to (or order in) a lunch? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rh205 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Whilst I accept your point about a 'thank you for sticking by me and not believing my accuser'. The gift is meant more as a thank you for their help and support over the past couple of weeks rather than for 'sticking by me' during and shortly after the event in that before I went on leave I made a point of talking to the colleagues involved, to my manager and to the relative and went away knowing that it was all sorted and that it would be yesterdays news upon my return. However upon my return my colleagues despite being told the issue was now closed continued to be helpful and supportive. I was given bays with patients who required a lot of care whilst theirs were quieter therefore I believe they were doing it for this reason as opposed to the event. Many of them I would consider as friends and I socialize with them outside the workplace. We are a very close knit team. The other day I was working with a couple of staff who are considered lazy by the team and the others knew this and were therefore more than happy to help as they knew I would struggle without help. The gift idea is more of a token of appreciation to say thanks for their help and for making my job easier upon my return rather than sticking by me during the event. I feel it best to give the gift to the whole team and then thank the individuals later so as not to appear bias towards others. What are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't give out any gifts or thank-you notes as a result of this incident. It would look like you were trying to buy their loyalty for covering up your wrongdoing. Even though you didn't do anything wrong. See how weird that would get? I know you're grateful to them (I would be too!). But I would express it by just treating them like gold - give them great respect and trust, look out for them, do little extra things to make their jobs easier. And I don't see anything wrong with verbally thanking them (once! not over and over) for sticking by you. But no gifts. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author rh205 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 It's more about recognizing that I haven't perhaps been as productive as I could have been as the incident had an impact on my morale and they have been helping when it got busy rather than because of their actions during and shortly after the event. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rh205 Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 I would say that they treated me more like a friend than a work colleague by making sure I was alright and trying to boost my morale. They went out of their way to help and make me laugh in order to lift my mood. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 It's a nice idea to thank them for their help and support during trying times. Link to post Share on other sites
Telemachus Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I would say that they treated me more like a friend than a work colleague by making sure I was alright and trying to boost my morale. They went out of their way to help and make me laugh in order to lift my mood. In that case, keep any tangible expression of appreciation outside work. If you keep it friendly and outside the workplace, you won't have to fret at all about it. Gifts of nominal value between friends, in purely social encounters and not in connection with work, are never a problem. Then, you need not concern yourself in any way with those who are colleagues but not friends. They won't be there, wherever that ends up being. Only your friends will be. Link to post Share on other sites
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