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My boss is too attractive

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Old 7th May 2017, 5:40 AM   #16
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Eastern Europe
Posts: 59
Originally Posted by redheaded-squirrel View Post
Hi all,

my 3rd post in a few days...LoveShack, you've been good to me, so I'll get it off my chest. Mind you, this is actually more interesting than my therapist's points. Why am I paying her?! Anyway, back to my situation.

I started working at this little wonderful NGO last summer as an admin assistant. The team is very small. Me, my other colleague and my boss share one office. But the worst thing is that my boss is just smoking hot. And it sounds totally ridiculous, I know, but I feel it affects me too much. I have a serious crush or doesn't help that he is also very intelligent and has a great personality. He's too attractive for me to actually be able to focus at work sometimes.

It's the classic case of "works with her boss all day, thinks about him all night." I just want it to stop. I tried to re-program myself to view him as a father figure (me - 23, him - 40), but that didn't help. Tried bringing it up in therapy, that hasn't helped yet either (even though I am going there to process and understand my attraction towards older men and authority figures which I feel is unhealthy).

So, it's just making my life harder. I obviously excel at work in order to impress him, but I just want to un-crush...any ideas on how to get him out of my head???
Update from the OP, if anyone is interested:

Well, it seems that things changed a little in the right direction that after my recent performance review. He praised me and even expressed worries about how much did I have on my plate recently and that he noticed I was stressed, so he was starting to worry about me...Soon after the review (which we rushed a bit, because we both had other meetings), I wrote him a letter expressing that I didn't feel I was fair to him in my review of his performance and that I very much respect him as an inspiring leader and even a caring father and consider him my inspiration in many ways. Since then, the relationship shifted to a sort of mentor-mentee thing (not openly labelled as such, but practically true). And as I consider him a very valuable mentor that I'd like to keep in touch with also in the future, I am just not willing to let anything ruin that relationship. I still have the crush, but his mentorship is now much more valuable to me than the prospect of anything physical.
- "When nothing goes right, go left."
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Old 7th May 2017, 6:28 AM   #17
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Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 1,689
That's a good thing. I'm glad you have control. They say feelings are like children. Can't put them in the trunk but don't let them drive either.
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