How Would You React To This?

[Lovelorn00]

I was washing my newly purchased glass bottle in the office kitchen today, when a male co-worker approached me. We had the following exchange:

 

HIM: Why are you washing that glass bottle?

ME: I’m going to reuse it.

HIM: It looks pretty fancy.

ME: Yeah, it’s nice, but it was super cheap. I got it for $1 at Walmart.

HIM: Why aren’t you using the plastic cups the company provided?

ME: It wasn’t big enough. I’m trying to drink more water, and I was constantly refilling it. Plus, I read something about the chemicals in plastic being harmful, so I just decided to start using this glass container, just in case.

HIM: Wow. Do people tell you that you’re high maintenance much?

ME: Ummmm…. Huh? I mean, I guess I can be sometimes, but that can be said for all of us, right?

HIM: Do you think perhaps that has something to do with your current dating status?

 

At this point, I’m super pissed. All I wanted to do was wash my water bottle, and this somehow made it okay for him to comment on the fact that I’m currently single. I’m considering going to HR about it, but I dunno… maybe I’m just being too high-maintenance about it???

 

A little background info. Yes, I struggle with being chronically single. It’s something I’m working on, and it’s something I’m super sensitive about. I’m currently taking a break from dating and don’t intend to jump back in anytime soon. He and I had a casual conversation about my “dating status” nearly 5 years ago, and we’ve never spoken about it since. This is not someone I normally discuss relationship issues with. Heck, this isn’t someone that I normally discuss anything with, so he has no idea what’s going on in my life. Another bit of background info – I have a health condition that has no known cause. There’s speculation that it could be caused by anything from meat to chemicals found in everyday objects, such as cosmetics, soaps, plastic bottles. I’m trying to avoid having another surgery, so I’m doing everything that I can (within reason) to keep this health issue in check. Hence, the glass water bottle.

 

If someone said this to you, how would YOU react?

[ChatroomHero]

Going to HR seems like such a petty, I'm going to tell on you for one 30 second incident thing to do. Seriously, you want to mess with this guy's job over something so minor as having your feathers slightly ruffled?

 

Honestly, I would say be an adult and don't give it another thought.

[preraph]

I wouldn't be telling people about your thing about plastic at work. It's too easy to roll eyes at or make fun of. Your peculiarities are best kept to yourself. Not even friends really want to deal with that. I have a friend who won't use most cooking pans and yes, I do think she's nutso, especially since all the weird things she's done to try to save her health have done just the opposite. But there are things in plastic, but only some plastic, that are harmful. i know those things are not allowed to be used in drinking vessels in the US, but I don't know if you're in the US. You ought to do simple research and find out if your caution is even necessary or if it's already being regulated. What I have recently heard is some old plastic containers that are not microwavable might contain that harmful chemical, whatever it is, but unless you're using them incorrectly, it wouldn't matter.

 

That said, he was completely out of line bringing up your dating status and calling you high maintenence because that's not professional or any of his business. But if you made it his business sometime in the past by oversharing, then that may be why this happened, so at least try to remember what you've volunteered to him. Make a note of it and if he does something like that again, do report him. Now, if this guy has no control over your promotions and how well you do at the company, it's probably not worth it and just tell him to stick it.

[mightycpa]

so he has no idea what’s going on in my life

And yet, somehow he pegged you today. You must be talking to somebody about it.

 

it’s something I’m super sensitive about

yes, clearly. take that into consideration when you think about your question.

 

If someone said this to you, how would YOU react?

I wouldn't. I'd let it go, or better yet, one up him. What you need to do is take one of those Saturday nights you're spending alone, and come up with some witty retorts to people's comments so that you'll have them at the ready. I'll get you started:

 

 

• No, the real problem seems to be that I only attract guys like you.
  
• Compared to the women you attract, yeah, I think I understand what you're trying to say
  
• All men think women are high maintenance, but there's only a precious few stupid enough to say it
  
• I prefer to think of myself as a totally awesome woman who knows what the **** she wants
  
• High maintenance? So is a Ferrari. What kind of girl do you drive?
  
• You know, I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
  

and so on and so forth.

[thecrucible]

I like mightycpa's comment. Also I know this sounds daft but could he be flirting with you by doing that negging thing? Is he like that with everyone?

[mightycpa]

I like mightycpa's comment. Also I know this sounds daft but could he be flirting with you by doing that negging thing? Is he like that with everyone?

The flirting thing crossed my mind too, but if it's that, he's got to be the least smoothest guy in town.

[basil67]

How would I react? I'd probably tell my friends in the office about the exchange.

[thefooloftheyear]

Tell him to go shyt in his hat and wear it....

 

But really...

 

I don't know why you continued to engage him...The minute he started acting like a dick, you should have just walked away and left him standing there like a complete jackass..Then he'll get the idea that he cant screw with you like that...

 

TFY

[Arieswoman]

Tell him to go shyt in his hat and wear it....

 

Love it !

 

[preraph]

How would I react? I'd probably tell my friends in the office about the exchange.

 

I agree with this but only if it's done immediately when he just said it and loudly and right in front of him to embarrass him. In other words, when he says you're high maintenance, raise your voice and maybe put a big open-mouthed smile or laugh on your face so you don't look like a charging bull and bust him. Say loudly so everyone can hear: EXCUSE ME! DID YOU JUST CALL ME HIGH MAINTENANCE???? ISN'T THAT A LITTLE PERSONAL??"

 

You can't "keep his secret." Sneaky people trying to hurt you can usually only do it if you keep quiet, but at work, if you go around gossiping about it after the fact, that can get you in trouble. But if instead you immediately react and are not talking to anyone but him but in a loud alarmed voice, it would be hard to blame you for that. Because you're reacting to what he said in a shocked manner.

[sarahhparker1]

Don't see anything wrong. Do not over react

[Got it]

I would first caution you on just because someone asks you a question doesn't mean you are obligated to answer/defend/etc. I would have taken the first question about why you aren't using company plastic cups and just said okay and stopped engaging.

 

In regards to going to HR, you can though they will most likely push you back to dealing with him directly. It was one comment that was jerky by nature but should try and work out the issue with him.

 

To be honest I would just freeze him out, ignore him going forward and just because he talks doesn't mean you need to listen or respond.

 

Remember, no is a complete sentence.