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Is this married man flirting with me at work? He is older.. needed


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Old 4th December 2016, 4:42 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by anika99 View Post
Yeah it was really weird of you to say that to him and it wasn't even true as you say you have a huge crush on him. Nobody completely forgets about someone they currently have a huge crush on.

I don't see any flirting in his behaviour. Looking at you isn't flirting. He is married with kids so why do you even care?
Exactly this ^
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Old 4th December 2016, 9:11 PM   #17
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OK so i have an update. And for everyone attacking me i already stated i woulds NEVER act on these feelings, hes married and hes old enough to be my dad.

I do however have a crush on him and in my mind thats Ok as long as you dont act on it.

Now, the update was that this morning i turned my chair away from my computer at work, i was talking to 2 of my colleagues. I was just really into the conversation with these girls and i look up for a second, literally i just looked up and guess who was on the other side talking to one of his team mates and staring at me? HIM! He was talking to one of these guys and he was staring at me with a smile on his face as he was talking to the guy..wtf..see this is what I mean, i dont get this guy. I get that he is married and i got a crush on him I'd never act on. But why is he always staring at me..
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Old 4th December 2016, 9:17 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Sunkissedpatio View Post
That sounds like you are trying to flirt with him and he is shooting you down.
The bit by the lifts about forgetting he works at your work, also sounds like it. Clearly you haven't forgotten about him since you are crushing on him and are aware of his every move so again, that sounds like you were wishfully hoping for a reaction out of him and when he doesn't deliver it makes you wonder what is going on.

Like others said, nothing is going on. In all likeliness you are projecting your own feelings onto him. He may check you out but that's it. He's married, I would stop trying to read into everything he actually isn't even doing.
Can i just state that you dont know me and I can honestly say i would never flirt with a guy i am way too shy. Im regards to the coke and the lift i meant that in the most innocent way. Also, at that point in time when we had those 2 exchanges i didn't have a crush on him. This is a recent thing that has developed a couple of weeks ago, for some odd reason.

And of course he is doing it, to me that is being flirty. No other male has spoken to me like that in the workplace nor do any stare at me like that.

Again, I would never act on this. But it would be flattering in a weird way if he was flirting.
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Old 4th December 2016, 10:28 PM   #19
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I'm sorry you feel attacked, that was never my intent. Given the details that you posted on here it doesn't look to me like he is flirting so I just mentioned that.

The obvious way to visualize flirting is a woman walking up to a man and bending over to show off her cleavage in her low-cut top, while licking her lips and asking him "hey tiger can you show me where a girl has to go around here to get a nice stiff drink?"

The less obvious way to visualize flirting is a woman batting her eyelashes and coyly smiling, jokingly asking him "did you break the photocopier again, I can't seem to get this thing to work?"

In both instances there is flirting happening, one is over the other is covert.

Maybe you aren't covertly flirting, fine.

Trust your female intuition, which will lead you to the answer more than what our perceptions are. If it feels like he is looking at you a certain way, then he is.
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Old 5th December 2016, 1:59 AM   #20
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I'm sorry you feel attacked, that was never my intent. Given the details that you posted on here it doesn't look to me like he is flirting so I just mentioned that.

The obvious way to visualize flirting is a woman walking up to a man and bending over to show off her cleavage in her low-cut top, while licking her lips and asking him "hey tiger can you show me where a girl has to go around here to get a nice stiff drink?"

The less obvious way to visualize flirting is a woman batting her eyelashes and coyly smiling, jokingly asking him "did you break the photocopier again, I can't seem to get this thing to work?"

In both instances there is flirting happening, one is over the other is covert.

Maybe you aren't covertly flirting, fine.

Trust your female intuition, which will lead you to the answer more than what our perceptions are. If it feels like he is looking at you a certain way, then he is.
I understand what you are trying to say however that type of flirting is way too obvious and honestly I dont know anyone who does that.
I am just trying to say i know what I am seeing and i know this guy keeps looking at me. Keep in mind i would never act on this..while i do havena crush on him at the same time im thinking what the hell is his problem. I walked past him this morning he didnt even acknowledge me
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Old 5th December 2016, 5:52 AM   #21
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Could it be that he is really interested in one of your colleagues, or he knows her better and it was her he was actually smiling at, or he was just laughing with his mate, maybe he never even saw you there. People may look in your direction but they may not necessarily see you.
The fact he blanks you when you see him on his own when he used to be friendly is not a good sign that he sees you as anything else than just another worker and not a very friendly one at that.
This is your ego here that is a bit bruised. He was being friendly at first, but now he is not paying you any attention and ignoring you, your interest is piqued.
For someone who keeps saying you will not act on this you seem extraordinarily obsessed by him.
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Old 5th December 2016, 6:45 AM   #22
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Whether he's flirting or not, just remember he works with you and is married. Its ok to feel flattered, just watch your boundaries around this guy. Many young naive women have been taken advantage in these situations and they never end well
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Old 5th December 2016, 9:25 AM   #23
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I've been on the other side of this situation. I went out of my way NOT to flirt back... because I fancied the pants off her! It could be the same for this chap, he might be purposely distancing himself.

From my perspective, there's no good way it can go if you start down that road. Better to keep it in the box.
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Old 5th December 2016, 9:03 PM   #24
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I've been on the other side of this situation. I went out of my way NOT to flirt back... because I fancied the pants off her! It could be the same for this chap, he might be purposely distancing himself.

From my perspective, there's no good way it can go if you start down that road. Better to keep it in the box.
FINALLY someone who understands..I've stated it a million times i would never act on this. ALL i wanted to know is why is he behaving the way he is, instead get all these opinions that dont even make sense.

You dont just stare at someone constantly and then avpid them. I get weird vibes from him
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Old 6th December 2016, 12:53 PM   #25
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To be honest I've seen this as a common topic on this site and another one I used to be on. Woman keeps noticing man staring at her, and tries to understand it when it doesn't match up with the rest of his actions.

I'm not trying to be rude, but do you wear revealing clothes? I know it's hard for me as a man to not have my eyes drawn to a beautiful woman who is showing skin, no matter how hard I try. There isn't anything behind it, just biology. Even if you don't he may just have a pure physical attraction to you that he has no interest in acting on, it might be totally subconscious for him.

There is also the fact that our mind sees what it wants to see and we have confirmation bias built into our psyche. Since you like him your mind is naturally drawn to finding any signs that he likes you.

Overall though, while I can only guess at whats going on his head, it sounds like you are being very awkward with him. The statement about forgetting about him, comes across as kind of rude. That would sting if a friend at work said that to me just because I'd moved to a different area for a little bit.
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