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What do you generally think about dating a coworker?


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I was friends with a guy for about a year, and now we are dating. We've been dating for only about two weeks so far, so it's still very early. We haven't even thought about whether we want to be exclusive or not as of yet.

 

He recently told me to apply for a position at the company he works for, as I just finished graduate school. He made it clear however, that we wouldn't be working on the same project, and thus may never have to see each other at work. I think that this is great--it would make things easier for both of us.

 

I also know that while he can put in a good word for me, I would have to go through all rounds of interviews and ultimately, I would have to earn this position on my own. This also makes me feel better--knowing that if I truly got the position, I'd have earned it for the most part.

 

I know that we are still in the very early stages of dating and that even if I did get this job, we wouldn't be working together. But still...I'm feeling slightly hesitant about even applying to the same company as someone I'm dating. Does this happen often? What are people's opinions on something like this?

 

There's also the fact that the position and company are amazing. The company is among the best to work for, and could really help my career. I would regret it if I didn't apply at all, and so that's why I'm confused as to what to do.

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Apply! especially if you are both mature about the relationship. Be able to communicate to the other person if you begin doubting the relationship or if you are having an issue at work try not to let that get between you two. Otherwise go after it! no reason to ignore an awesome position.

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Q.

What do you generally think about dating a coworker?

 

A. Nooooooo !

 

 

This is a recipe for disaster - don't do it. :eek:

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I've done it. Will never do it again.

 

It was fun while it lasted, but the breakup was one of the worst things I've experienced in the workplace. Resulted in both of us leaving the company and finding other jobs.

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Standard-Fare

You say you'll regret it if you don't apply. That means you have to try.

 

Yes, this situation is a little awkward. But ultimately, you have to give priority to a good job opportunity above a two-week-old relationship.

 

There are various different scenarios that could play out here. Maybe you won't get the job in the first place. Maybe you will, and your relationship with the guy will continue, and it will work out nicely.

 

You know the worst-case: You get the job but later break up with the guy. But you'd just have to cross that bridge if/when you get there. If you two wouldn't be working directly with each other, maybe it truly wouldn't be that big of a deal. Or if it was that bad, you could consider at that point whether it would be best to leave the job.

 

Too many unknowns here to cross the job off the list, in my opinion.

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If it's a small company and impossible to avoid the other person, bad idea. I don't think it's as much of a disaster if, say, it's a larger company and the person is in another building / department. Easier to keep out of their way if things go awry.

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Generally it doesn't stop me (I've had a successful coworker romance going for ~2 years now - big company, diff departments), but I'd be cautious about going into a job/coworker situ on the heels of a new relationship.

 

Is the guy offering to broker you a deal btw? That sounds pretty inappropriate if so, not the least reason being you'll be beholden to him going forward. I know you said you'd earn the position yourself on your merits and that's good, but if it's a no-foot-in-the-door-w/out-him thing that's bad.

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Michelle ma Belle
It's all good till you break up

 

Amen.

 

Very few people can successfully handle a breakup at the best of times never mind one that takes places in a professional environment.

 

Tread carefully.

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The 'received wisdom' is that it's a bad idea, but there are always exceptions.

 

I think I'd go for it.

 

I don't mind a little risk...

 

 

Take care.

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I'm doing it currently..

I worked with her directly for about 6 months, as in like we were "partners", 5 days a week, 10 hours a day..

Then I spent 18 months working at the same place as her but in a slightly different role before we started dating..

We've been together just over a year now and we still work together, although in slightly different roles.

 

We get up at the same time for work, I see her at lunch, If i'm having a really sh**ty day she's right there to put a smile on my face and vise versa, we can chat about minor points of our day and i know she genuinely cares and gets it!

 

But equally I cant tell her my funny work stories cause she was already there :rolleyes:, Shes got a front row seat for any tiny screw up i make :laugh:, she has to go to great lengths to act like she hates me so people dont catch on to how mushy she is under that thick skin & sarcasm :cool:

 

Being more serious though, i know the girl inside out, not just the side you see of someone on a date, or even just on a night out. I know how she responds to serious pressure, difficult people, stuff going wrong, last minuet changes, her work ethic, how she;ll work through an injury and think outside the box to solve a situation..

 

I do think the situation comes into it though.. if its a job that's VERY important to your career or that you couldn't walk away from then its probably not a great idea to rock the boat..... on paper. But I'm not really a on paper kinda guy, i think if it feels right you know.

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Generally it doesn't stop me (I've had a successful coworker romance going for ~2 years now - big company, diff departments), but I'd be cautious about going into a job/coworker situ on the heels of a new relationship.

 

Is the guy offering to broker you a deal btw? That sounds pretty inappropriate if so, not the least reason being you'll be beholden to him going forward. I know you said you'd earn the position yourself on your merits and that's good, but if it's a no-foot-in-the-door-w/out-him thing that's bad.

 

This is definitely what I fear. From what I understand, I would have to impress during in the interview in order to earn the position, but I still have a slight feeling that his recommendation can sway the interviewers. He said that he has helped several of his friends get jobs at his company in the past. I know this happens all the time, but I want to know that if I have a job, I'd have earned it myself entirely.

 

There is certainly also the fact that I'd always feel like I owe him, and this could get messy if we ever break up.

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If it's a small company and impossible to avoid the other person, bad idea. I don't think it's as much of a disaster if, say, it's a larger company and the person is in another building / department. Easier to keep out of their way if things go awry.

 

It is a very large company. We would be working in different departments, and possibly even different buildings.

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It is a very large company. We would be working in different departments, and possibly even different buildings.

 

In that case, I'd go for it. Even in the case of an ugly breakup, it can be kept private and you won't have to deal with him daily.

 

I work in a very large company with different divisions and there are some couples across departments. Literally no one cares, as long as they act professional.

 

As for worrying that you didn't deserve the job, I understand but at the end of the day, they wouldn't give it to you if you didn't have credentials that they're looking for.

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My view is do NOT if it is a small company. If it is a large company, then only if: you work in different physical areas (e.g. different floors or buildings), and do not usually see each other during the workday (keeps things from getting awkward if you break up); you are not in the same reporting chain, and do not work on any assignments together or need to consult with one another.

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This is definitely what I fear. From what I understand, I would have to impress during in the interview in order to earn the position, but I still have a slight feeling that his recommendation can sway the interviewers. He said that he has helped several of his friends get jobs at his company in the past. I know this happens all the time, but I want to know that if I have a job, I'd have earned it myself entirely.

 

There is certainly also the fact that I'd always feel like I owe him, and this could get messy if we ever break up.

 

I think I'd eval just how bad I want to get in there and the other prospects available. If the risk is worth the payoff, go for it I guess.

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