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Old 12th August 2016, 6:16 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by katiegrl View Post
And re his use of the copier in my office, we each have our own copiers in our offices so there is no reason for him to use mine. My door is closed but he just barges in... that wouldn't annoy you?

That said, just now he came in to use it... and I struck up a very pleasant convo with him... so all should be good.

Now I'm the one feeling a bit bad for my previous harsh post!

I am glad to hear....
You'll thank me for saying that later.
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Old 12th August 2016, 6:17 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Imajerk17 View Post
Well, I think this situation calls for a little more compassion and maybe a bit less judgement on your part.

Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. He is new. Its a small firm. So he wants to get along w everyone, ESPECIALLY someone who appears to be (in some way) the social center of the firm. I mean, from his vantage point, if YOU think he is a jerk, then that may poison his chance to form good working relationships w other people. It's a common emotional desire for someone, and not a sign of "phoniness".

For crying out loud...
Okay we need to stop with the judgments... okay?

I NEVER said I think he is a jerk, jesus.

And lest I remind you, I am the one interacting with him.... if I feel he comes off as phony that is my prerogative. And yes, with me I DO feel he is a bit phony.

We can't like everyone... and I don't expect everyone to like me. No rhyme or reason, sometimes people just don't click.

However, we should all strive to be professional regardless ... I recognize this.... just needed to write this all out to realize.

And if you read my subsequent posts you will see that I DO recognize my behavior is wrong and unfair and am taking steps to remedy.

Thanks again!
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Old 12th August 2016, 6:20 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Imajerk17 View Post
Now I'm the one feeling a bit bad for my previous harsh post!

I am glad to hear....
Yeah!! That was a bit harsh Imajerk... LOL

No worries though... it's Friday, I am off soon, I forgive you.

Not to mention I probably deserved it.... it's not like me to be so adversarial toward people, so this whole thing even threw me!

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Old 12th August 2016, 7:33 PM   #19
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I bet he reminds you of someone. Think about who. Meanwhile, you have to be polite.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 14th August 2016, 7:08 PM   #20
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Reading your posts, right or wrong, gave me the impression of going up to the bar and getting a drink at an open spot next to a woman that makes eye contact, smiling and saying hi to her and having her roll her eyes or dismissing u verbally when all you were doing is getting a drink and being polite.
Maybe you assumed this guy instantly wants you because you think you are the office hottie (hence mentioning other guys that are attractive that are married and just have to flirt with you) and you didn't find him attractive.
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Old 14th August 2016, 11:03 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by katiegrl View Post
So there is this new male associate who has just joined our firm.

He is around 6'5", very good looking and of course the women are all going ga ga for him and this includes the women in the other law offices on our floor.

As for me? Not sure why but I cannot stand the guy. Oh he is very nice and polite, nothing inherently wrong with him, so not sure why, but whenever he approaches me with a task (or just to chat), I literally cringe.

I am not very nice to him either... in fact at times I am downright mean (which is not my normal demeanor with people AT ALL).

It appears that the meaner I am to him, the nicer he tries to be to me! Which makes me cringe even more!! Ugh.

Fortunately I do not have to work with him very often (thank god) and try to ignore but he is always coming into my office.... needs to use the copier or whatever other flimsy excuse he can think up. Annoying.

He approaches me very tentatively like he is afraid of me or something which also adds to the cringe factor.

It's funny because here he is, this big strapping guy.. and then me, blonde, rather petite, soft spoken ... and HE is the one afraid of me!

I realize I am sounding really mean here , but I am at a loss as to how to handle this.

But I need to do something because the cringe-factor and my annoyance is getting progressively worse by the day!

And please don't say that I subconsciously have some sort of crush on him because that is definitely NOT the case. I am very in tune with my emotions and can differentiate between a crush, attraction and near repulsion, which is what this is turning out to be.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. As long as you are professional and not going to get in trouble with your superiors, feel free to give him the cold shoulder. Avoid, ignore, etc. Or simply be frank and tell him "I don't know why, but I don't like you. Apart from work-related issues, I don't really want to interact." I've used that blunt honesty before, but then I am not afraid to be crystal clear with my dislike of someone.

Always listen to your gut feelings. If he makes you cringe, you're sensing something and are wise to pay attention. Even since you are deciding to change how you interact, I wouldn't stop being careful. Something could very well be wrong with him.
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