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My coworkers don't include me

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Old 7th August 2016, 1:43 PM   #1
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 43
My coworkers don't include me

I'm having such an awkward time at work. I've only been at my new job for 5 months. My coworkers are extremely cliquey. In our office we have two age groups. Half of the office is older women and the other half is close to my age group. I never really felt welcomed at work and it was evident from day 1 that the girls in my age group were all close friends who spent a lot of time outside of work together. I thought with time that I would be closer to them but it hasn't happened. Also I feel that they are purpoself rubbing their closeness in our coworkers face. They brag about what they do together and my other coworkers have told me it hurts their feelings, however since there is such an age gap it doesn't bother them. It's such an awful feeling going into work while they are there. My previous job I loved my coworkers but had a hard time with my supervisor and this job is the opposite. Last week they sent everyone pictures of they day out but me, like they didn't want me to know. They act friendly enough and I have attempted to get to know them but the one girl gets pleasure out of being a witch. Help?
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Old 7th August 2016, 2:32 PM   #2
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Are you able to work well with your co-workers? IOW, is their friendship impeding on your ability to do your job? If not, it's a non-issue. You are there to work, not to socialize. Yes, sometimes it works out that your co-workers become your friends, but this is not automatic and can even be problematic. Just do your job and socialize with your own friends.
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Old 7th August 2016, 2:38 PM   #3
Join Date: Aug 2016
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That sucks, I'm sorry. I honestly think a lot of times what happens is that people become threatened by adding a new person to the group, thinking that person will change the dynamics of the group or swoop in and steal what they have. I sincerely think it stems from insecurity on their part. I'm experiencing something similar and what's worked for me is to connect with the girls one-on-one, excluding the girl who acts cold toward me. From doing this, you might find these girls aren't great at all and in that case, you're not missing anything by not being friends/being included in their clique.
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Old 7th August 2016, 2:58 PM   #4
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My thoughts are that if you get along with the supervisor and don't mind the work, you shouldn't even be worrying about the social stuff there. You yourself portray them as not very nice, so I can't imagine why you would want to be a part of that! Are you anxious to also be snooty and exclude others? IMO, you've got it good and work only yields fickle friends anyway. You are probably much better off without them. And also, you should not be gossiping about them to the older ladies either.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 7th August 2016, 5:52 PM   #5
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Thank you everyone for your advice and opinions I appreciate it. For the past few weeks it's made me feel bad about myself. We are just in extremely close quarters and works been slow lately so that's why I'm probably hypersensitive. I don't really like my job either so everyday been awful lately. I haven't discussed my feelings in the office with anyone, I've just overheard the girls that aren't invited talk about it.
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Old 14th August 2016, 4:22 PM   #6
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Their actions tell you they aren't someone you'd associate with anyway.

It sucks but I've been through the same senario. You make your own life. They don't count.
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