I wasn't invited on a business trip

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

My boss and another male co-worker and I worked on a project together most of last year. We went on one trip together to gather more information. The project was an investigation by the Dept of Commerce and now these two I find out are in DC!! I never got invited, which is kind of expected because it IS a man's world, right?

 

Anyway what really ticks me off is I work fairly closesly with these two gentlemen, and my boss left early last Friday and it was like he wanted to tell me something, but instead just said something work-related and left. Then Monday I got an email saying he was on the road with So-and-so and would be back Wed.

 

I didn't think much of anything until last night, was kind of wondering why my boss would go with this guy, as this guy travels alot, but not really anything to do with my boss's job. So this morning I casually asked someone and was told "DC". I said Oh. Everyone at the table looked at me as they knew I probably should have been invited, and someone made a comment, and I laughed it off.

 

This isn't the first time I've been given the shaft but I don't want to yell and scream like a little kid (like last time haha). I'm still waiting for my so-called bonus for putting aside 8 months of work for this project.

 

Should I pry when they get back? Should I let my hurt feelings be known? I'm thinking their reason was that they were meeting with 2 other guys in DC and if I came along, someone would be left out of their golf foursome. ya funny eh.

[ThumbingMyWay]

Originally posted by mom-wife-cheater

 

Should I let my hurt feelings be known? I'm thinking their reason was that they were meeting with 2 other guys in DC and if I came along, someone would be left out of their golf foursome. ya funny eh.

 

happens to me all the time and I'm a guy. In my office, its me and 2 owners, thats it. So when vendors come in for lunch or golf......guess who gets left back to man the office?....ME. I'm used to it though.

 

BUT I did let my feelings known. I said I understand that you 2 are the owners and all....but hey, I golf too....we'll see what happens this summer....

[sami]

That might even be better for you if things don't go well. They have to find someone of them to take it out on him I guess.

[Moose]

Should I pry when they get back? Should I let my hurt feelings be known? I'm thinking their reason was that they were meeting with 2 other guys in DC and if I came along, someone would be left out of their golf foursome. ya funny eh.

I'd leave it alone. It's better to be invited rather than placing a guilt trip on them for the next time. I get left here all the time too like TMW. I don't golf though. I look at it this way, someone reliable has to run things and keep everything smooth. I use it as an opportunity to type on LS. As we speak, 2 of our personnell from the KC office is in Las Vegas spending a bunch of our co-op funds......rewards do come to those who hold the fort down.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

Maybe they could hire someone else, then you would have a foursome.

 

Our owners go on a fly-in fishing trip every year and invite different people. Sometimes it's outsiders, if they need to schmooze, but usually a few staff get invited. Usually this is other managers or long-time employees, but they are getting to the point where all the old-timers and higher-ups have all been on one trip.

 

Last year the women in the office came up with an idea that we should get to go somewhere too, like maybe a weekend spa package. And I guess word got around so I think this year they are sending all the women on the trip! However, not ALL the women will get invited and I probably will get invited, and the ones who don't will probably come crying to me.

[ThumbingMyWay]

Originally posted by Moose

I look at it this way, someone reliable has to run things and keep everything smooth......rewards do come to those who hold the fort down.

 

I was going to add that to my post too. They depend on me when they are out of office....so i guess that says something. And your right.....I get rewards in different ways.....owners are really flexible on my work schedule....can come and go as I please as long as my work is not affected....so its nice.....but would be nice to be asked out to golf once in a while....

[Moose]

Honestly mom-wife-cheater, my brother, two others and I are the back bone of this company. We've built this company from what used to be just an engineering service firm to a full blown authorized center for well known software and pc distributors. It took years and years of hard work to get us here. It took lots and lots of personal sacrifice and chances with mortgaging our homes just to pay the bills.

 

Once a year, we do leave the country. And we do take a hefty nest egg to blow with us. We feel we deserve to. We aren't disrespecting any of the other engineers or staff, we are just enjoying the fruits of our labor. I know that there are one or two that testify as partakers in our growth. But they weren't there making the same sacrifices and gambling with losing their homes to build a office or manufacturing plant.

 

I know it's hard for some to sit back and watch us, but really, I feel we deserve it.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

My original post was talking about my boss, not the owners. He's only been here 3 yrs. The other employee has been here 4 and my position is higher paying than his. I have been here 6 and have worked nearly every position in the office and had to create new positions as the company expanded and grew over 300% in three years.

 

The project we worked on saved the company millions of dollars per year in future taxes. I am more offended that they tried to hide it from me that they were going. All three of us worked closely with these people from DC and partied together and talked about going golfing, etc etc.

 

As for the owners of the company, yes they deserve every trip they take - and they are always gone. I would never take that away from them.

[Moose]

OIC, that makes more sense. I can see where you'd get a little peod.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

I think I'll just make a comment something like:

 

"so when do we get our bonuses for that project?" and see if they look guilty for going on the trip without me.

 

My review is coming up in May, and last year my boss was going to try and develop a bonus plan for office employees.

 

I really love working here, I get paid well, they give me time off for my competitive sport (negotiated upon hiring) and I take about an extra week or so per year without pay on top of my paid vacation of 4 weeks. So the owners treat us very well. But they should still be fair. And I'm one to speak up when things aren't fair.

[Beth]

We teach people how to treat us.

 

Get your case together now so that you can approach your boss (not confront, but approach) when he returns. Try to figure out how he would answer your question "Why was I not included on this last trip?" and have your answer's ready for all of his possible responses. You need to explain and have solid reasons/support behind you when you tell him that you deserved to go. Have it in writing and take notes!

 

If you say nothing they will expect you to say nothing in the future and will continue this pattern. Stand up for yourself now and you'll be respected.

 

On a side, but related, note: I am a nurturer by nature. I am comfortable is leading support roles and I like to be liked by my co-workers. As I advanced my career I had to distinguish between being liked and being respected and then decide what was most important to me. "Respected" is above "Liked" in my career priorities now. I can deal with people not liking me, as long as they respect my position. Thankfully I don't have anyone here who dislikes me.