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Email Question plus overtalker question


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First Q should be easy - if you blind copy and the recipient replies to all does the blind copy also et the reply?

 

Next Q.

If you have an overtalker who stops listening as soon as you begin to speak but also who refuses to stop when you ask them to stop and hold your hands up - what to do?

Three of us at work are having the same issues with this person at the moment.

This is someone who never and I mean NEVER gives a clear response via email - the responses always look like some statement a politician had his team dream up -- no actual answer in the reply ever.

 

I need to pin this person down to an agreement.

 

Any help/suggestions?

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First Q should be easy - if you blind copy and the recipient replies to all does the blind copy also et the reply?

 

Next Q.

If you have an overtalker who stops listening as soon as you begin to speak but also who refuses to stop when you ask them to stop and hold your hands up - what to do?

Three of us at work are having the same issues with this person at the moment.

This is someone who never and I mean NEVER gives a clear response via email - the responses always look like some statement a politician had his team dream up -- no actual answer in the reply ever.

 

I need to pin this person down to an agreement.

 

Any help/suggestions?

 

1, No

 

2. Address the issue with them directly or talk to their manager to address with them.

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1, No

 

2. Address the issue with them directly or talk to their manager to address with them.

 

 

1. Excellent! Thank you!)

 

2.Tricky - this person speaks over everyone and her Manager does not communicate well at all - plus the Manager only wants the results - resolution is not her thing at all. Both Sales, numbers for them are all that really matters. Both pushy, incoherent to most when they communicate and do not listen when asked to.

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Collect those incoherent emails from as many people as possible and take them to your manager. If she refuses to deal with it, say, "Who can we ask to fix this? Your boss? HR?" If she refuses, then tell her you can't work with the person and she is affecting your work productiveness. If the manager won't do anything, next step is over her head. What I would do is put it in email to her as well. The first email is to her and anyone else who is on your side and providing email proof or testimony about the talker. If the manager comes back with no solution or attempt at a solution, my next email would be responding to that but copying her supervisor as well. Yes, it's a gamble because she could get it in for you, but it sounds like it takes a LOT to get her to act, so not sure I'd be too worried about that.

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All of the Directors and HR already know the issues. They won't address any of it - maybe a British thing? Lol!

 

I have no choice but to deal with these people work wise.

 

I'm just after a new tactic in an attempt to find other ways to halt her when she interrupts so that I don't need to keep repeating myself and so our conversations end up being short and on point.

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Sales people are notoriously hard to work with, I sat on a sales floor for 5 years listening to their ****. It's not really and HR issue, people don't get fired over incoherent emails.

 

Does that sales person benefit from co-operating with you? They clearly don't want to and you probably can't make them unless it's in their interest.

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GunslingerRoland

If you have an overtalker who stops listening as soon as you begin to speak but also who refuses to stop when you ask them to stop and hold your hands up - what to do?

Three of us at work are having the same issues with this person at the moment.

This is someone who never and I mean NEVER gives a clear response via email - the responses always look like some statement a politician had his team dream up -- no actual answer in the reply ever.

 

I work with a couple of people like that. I'm pretty sure that is ADHD as it really matches the symptoms of adult ADHD (I've read up on ADHD a lot since my sons have it).

 

 

Some times you need to just let them finish their rant and then switch topics afterwards, however they can stay stuck and keep talking on the same topic. They also tend to have the big dreams rather than focusing on details... now these people can be extremely valuable members of a team, they have big visions and are typically really hard working once they get started, but you have to surround them with the right people to keep focused on the details.

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Since no one will do anything about anything, then that leaves you free to do whatever you have to do including just not dealing with her or walking away from her. If whatever you have to cooperate with her to accomplish can't be done, it's her fault, not yours, and you should just tell the superiors, "She was unable to help me complete this task because of her nonstop talking, and she wasted a bunch of my time and yours. You'll have to find another way." Leave it for them to have to deal with.

 

Send the talker to the managers and let them be the ones who have to listen to her. While she's vomiting words out, point to the manager's office and say, Sounds good, go tell _____. Put it right back on them as often as possible and do not scramble to work around this idiot. That's their job, not yours. Walk away from her consistently.

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Since no one will do anything about anything, then that leaves you free to do whatever you have to do including just not dealing with her or walking away from her. If whatever you have to cooperate with her to accomplish can't be done, it's her fault, not yours, and you should just tell the superiors, "She was unable to help me complete this task because of her nonstop talking, and she wasted a bunch of my time and yours. You'll have to find another way." Leave it for them to have to deal with.

 

Send the talker to the managers and let them be the ones who have to listen to her. While she's vomiting words out, point to the manager's office and say, Sounds good, go tell _____. Put it right back on them as often as possible and do not scramble to work around this idiot. That's their job, not yours. Walk away from her consistently.

 

Wow! Seriously?

I wouldn't advocate this plan of action to anyone. I find it wholly unprofessional to be honest. There is no way I would ever do this.

 

We all deal with people who are difficult and to just run to a manager (or in my case this would be the company directors) is insane and would show me up as totally inept and unable to find resolution!

 

Thanks for posting but your approach is not for me at all.

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Sales people are notoriously hard to work with, I sat on a sales floor for 5 years listening to their ****. It's not really and HR issue, people don't get fired over incoherent emails.

 

Does that sales person benefit from co-operating with you? They clearly don't want to and you probably can't make them unless it's in their interest.

 

Sales folk have their moments - no question! :)

 

Yes she benefits entirely as regards her impression to her customer (and our company impression also) hence its important for me to advise on what we can and cannot provide.

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I work with a couple of people like that. I'm pretty sure that is ADHD as it really matches the symptoms of adult ADHD (I've read up on ADHD a lot since my sons have it).

 

 

Some times you need to just let them finish their rant and then switch topics afterwards, however they can stay stuck and keep talking on the same topic. They also tend to have the big dreams rather than focusing on details... now these people can be extremely valuable members of a team, they have big visions and are typically really hard working once they get started, but you have to surround them with the right people to keep focused on the details.

 

Bolded parts - you are 100% spot on with this! I need to keep her focused on some details as well as the bigger picture.

I will do some reading up on typical traits.

Thank GS! :)

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I work with a couple of people like that. I'm pretty sure that is ADHD as it really matches the symptoms of adult ADHD (I've read up on ADHD a lot since my sons have it).

 

 

Some times you need to just let them finish their rant and then switch topics afterwards, however they can stay stuck and keep talking on the same topic. They also tend to have the big dreams rather than focusing on details... now these people can be extremely valuable members of a team, they have big visions and are typically really hard working once they get started, but you have to surround them with the right people to keep focused on the details.

This is true.

 

I had to adjust my communication (written) to an ADHD colleague as well.

 

I went on to start every sentence in a separate paragraph and found that it worked.

 

I always got responses to my emails from him - while I know he asked others to call him instead because he found theirs harder to read.

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Wow! Seriously?

I wouldn't advocate this plan of action to anyone. I find it wholly unprofessional to be honest. There is no way I would ever do this.

 

We all deal with people who are difficult and to just run to a manager (or in my case this would be the company directors) is insane and would show me up as totally inept and unable to find resolution!

 

Thanks for posting but your approach is not for me at all.

 

Well, what's your solution? Sounds like you're out of ideas. Are you maybe exaggerating the problem?

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This is true.

 

I had to adjust my communication (written) to an ADHD colleague as well.

 

I went on to start every sentence in a separate paragraph and found that it worked.

 

I always got responses to my emails from him - while I know he asked others to call him instead because he found theirs harder to read.

 

Thanks for this! Simple tricks like that are precisely what I was looking for and it clearly worked for you two!

I need to get the plan agreed for the year asap so I'll try this idea today.

I use paragraphs but haven't yet tried one para per sentence with her before.

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Well, what's your solution? Sounds like you're out of ideas. Are you maybe exaggerating the problem?

 

I don't know that I have a solution yet and yes I was out of ideas which is why I came here to ask. )

 

No, no exaggeration going on, as I previously said others are also having the same issues with this person.

 

If the trick above concerning emails works for me today I will relay it to my colleagues.

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To me, it just seems like the place you work or the people you work for aren't at all professional, and that's why I see no reason for you to be when they've left you in the lurch on this. This really should be their problem to straighten out, but to me, it doesn't sound like they can straighten it out short of getting rid of the person or putting them into a position that requires less communication. Good luck.

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1, No

 

 

I don't know if I believe this, and although I've never tested it out, I've read the opposite.

 

To avoid the situation entirely, I never use the BCC for business correspondence. Instead, I will forward the sent email with a quick note such as, "keeping you in the loop", "FYI", or "for the ___ files".

 

I also find that the BCC confuses the recipient as to the purpose of them receiving the email.

 

This blog entry might be outdated, but I think it sums things up well: Avoid the Nightmare of the Email Blind Carbon Copy (BCC).

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First Q should be easy - if you blind copy and the recipient replies to all does the blind copy also et the reply?

 

Sorry! I misunderstood the question. I thought you were asking if the person BCC'ed replies all, if the other recipients receive the email.

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To me, it just seems like the place you work or the people you work for aren't at all professional, and that's why I see no reason for you to be when they've left you in the lurch on this.

Well, we must be doing something right as we are the UK and Global market leaders in our field and have been for some time.

I don't expect everyone I interact with at work to behave perfectly or like a robot. There are always difficult people at any company but the aim is to find ways to work as a team.

I would never choose to behave in an unprofessional manner, all that would achieve is ruining my own reputation.

I haven't been 'left in the lurch' on this. It's simply a project which I have the skillset for hence it was delegated to me.

 

 

This really should be their problem to straighten out, but to me, it doesn't sound like they can straighten it out short of getting rid of the person or putting them into a position that requires less communication.Good luck.

Thank you for the well wishes but I really don't see it this way. If everyone went running to their manager every time there was a problem no one would get any work done.

In business people get credit for taking responsibility and finding ways to work around the type of problems I have encountered.

Firing or demoting someone over the communication issues I've described is way over the top in my opinion and the lady in question is the account manager for our largest customer and looks after their worldwide account.

 

 

 

Update from yesterday.

 

I tried the little trick which Emilia suggested inspired I believe by GSR's post.

I blind copied the managing director as he wanted to know of scope creep (as there has been some this week) and to know the agreement over timelines and detail of the reports.

I laid it all out one para per sentence, limited the details down to as few words as possible and even though timelines had been (flakily) agreed I sent a financial calendar with highlighted dates so that everyone knew exactly what would happen and exactly when.

 

For the first time in 3 months of working on this I received an email in writing from her simply saying 'Perfect!' :)

In all this time she has only ever sent political email replies which neither agree nor disagree and are fluffily worded or she will grab me in passing and again flakily agree but therefore invalidating the need for an email response.

 

Thanks Emilia and GSR! :)

In future this is the approach I will use when working with her.

 

Rester, interesting read and it brought to light potential issues I hadn't considered at all. I have never before used BCC, hopefully will never have to again but that link has certainly made me mindful of it's use. so in other words thanks or misinterpreting me and posting it. Very much appreciated! :)

Edited by GemmaUK
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