blind_otter Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Making stupid decisions. Being unnecessarily rude to people who don't deserve it. Eating her lunch on my desk. Yes, she does that. I have one of those desks that has one level facing people who walk up to my desk, and then the surfaces I actually work on are behind and below that level. And she does this thing where she loiters around my desk, eating her freaking lunch, drinking her freaking coffee, treating me like her peon servant basically. I can't LS when she is lolling all over my desk(haha), eating a pickle in front of me like a disgusting old wench. Barf. "I need an appointment with so and so for Monday!" Well, so and so takes care of her own calendar and won't be in until mid-morning on Monday. "Oh well whatever, call her monday and tell her I need to see her immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" except so and so is not below you, you can't order so and so around dumbass, it's rude. People call me to see my boss on that day all the time. You know what? She gets all pissed and says they should have scheduled with her a week ago. Bitch. Yelling at me about being sick. Well you just took 4 days off to hang with your grandson across the continent, so how is me taking 2 sick days evil, and somehow intentionally undermining you, when you take off personal days and don't bother to enter your annual leave and say that they are "research days" you stupid cow? Oh, yell at me for going to the emergency room last week, just keep yelling and I will keep tuning you out and listening to "Wouldn't it be nice" inside my head with a stupid vacant smile plastered on my face. Hah! She tries to make people cry intentionally. But I laugh at her and it totally pisses her off. I know, how unprofessional of me. But I don't cry when old women have temper tantrums. She yelled at housekeeping because she did this thing where she put a paperclip under a table in her office and waited for them to pick it up. They never did so she yells at them and the dude walks out of her office rolling his eyes. What a total bitch. She is a slob in her office anyways. I am surprised they clean in there at all. She has sh*t in her inbox from JANUARY, waiting for signatures or whatever. She accuses me of not doing my work. I type like phenomenally fast, as soon as she gives me something I do it THAT DAY (except the faculty meeting minutes, which are horrendous and boring and long and I take my sweet ass time with those because there are like 12 pages of transcribed notes to type up), I give her important documents and she smiles at me like I'm an idiot and puts in in the MAIL CRATE THAT SHE USES AS AN INBOX NOW. I hate the way she smells and how she tries to make me hug her. I hate you, you crazy bitch, don't touch me! 3 feet! 3 feet! Jeebus, 3 feet of personal space. Get out from behind my desk. Stop pimping me out to other faculty members. Don't look at me like I slapped you upside the head when I ask "what priority is this project you want me to do?" or "When is the due date for this?" - according to her all 12 projects I am working on are priority number one, from the crapola due in 2007, to the BS biography transcription of a pompous a**h*** who works for our department who obviously can't type and writes in shakey old man script. Oh, right, like I am totally working on that sh*t that's due in 2007, you idiot. Sure. It'll be on your desk to moulder in your inbox for 2 years - shortly. At least she has recently learned how to check her own email. I used to use entire reams of paper to print out that sh*t for her. And then she would let it moulder in her inbox, like everything does. Ok I am done ranting. I hate her and I hope she dies in a firey plan crash. I am evil and have been coughing on the papers I give her. Link to post Share on other sites
Bronzepen Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 That's the attitude BO! Next time just give her the finger. Say that you just read that the cancer rate for 50+ year olds has risen and if she is feeling ok. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 lol DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN. I feel so bad for you. She leaves a paper clip to see if they will pick it up??? WTF? Has she gotten any lately? Girl all I can say is "breathe" and put that little song that plays in your head on "repeat" Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by Bronzepen That's the attitude BO! Next time just give her the finger. Say that you just read that the cancer rate for 50+ year olds has risen and if she is feeling ok. Has she gotten any lately? Her creepy husband, I think, has a problem with straying. Hell, she looks like HIS mother. She actually had stipulations that her assistant NOT be young and attractive, but they kept hiring older more experienced women who kept quitting. So they ended up with me, and I think that's the problem. I am her nightmare assistant. I am young and attractive. I have specific items of clothing that I have been instructed to NOT wear to work, including 3 of my favorite skirts, all knee-length or longer, all A-line or bias cut, all nice and pretty but "too form-fitting" for her taste. She is a bitch. I hate hearing her smarmy nasty voice calling out my name like she's fallen and she can't get up. IF she HAS fallen and she can't get up, I would just walk into her office and turn off the lights and lock the door behind me. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Sorry to hear about your boss. It's sucky as you are not in the position to replace an incompetent, and evil one, with someone who's actually civilized. Make a few jokes here on the Shack, and be grateful that it is at least Friday. and considering the coughing on her papers, you should have done that a couple of days earlier ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 I think it's so cute when she's mad at me. She tries to do her own typing but does that hunt and peck style and has to look at the keyboard, and the result is this hilariously unprofessional-looking document that she actually signs and she "hhhmph"s by my desk with this thing that has spaces in weird places and double commas and all this bizarre punctuation. She is trying to be more independent I guess. Cracks me UP. I get more sh*t done when she's mad at me. HAH. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Probably you can make her even more mad, by being cute and supportive of her, when she throws one of her tantrums ... She'll have blood pressure problems eventually, or a cardiac arrest, then you can always apply for her job Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted March 4, 2005 Author Share Posted March 4, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez Probably you can make her even more mad, by being cute and supportive of her, when she throws one of her tantrums ... She'll have blood pressure problems eventually, or a cardiac arrest, then you can always apply for her job Gossip in the office is that she's up for a promotion. And I know the dean's secretary will quit if she is promoted up there. Ooooooh it would be a debacle. A rich, hilarious debacle that I would laugh at until my intestines spilled all over the floor. I HAVE to stay at this job until she either gets promoted or crashes and burns in a firey spectacle. I have to see it. I have to it will be HIGH-laaaarious. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted March 4, 2005 Share Posted March 4, 2005 Promotion would make sense, somewhat. It's one of the laws of bureaucratic mediocrity, or stupidity if you will. At least you'd be relieved of her bitching. Don't lose your intestines if that happens though. That would be a shame. You don't need to be a spectator of the soon-to-come events. If all h*ll breaks loose, you can sit at your desk, pretending to work for the whole day, and have some evil thoughts, sharing them on the Shack, and you will have the ultimate revenge on her. It would be great for you though. And if you could get your current boss's job, you could be spending four days on your new object of research ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 I just love it when she gives me incomprehensible instructions in spanglish. I just luuuuuuv it when she tells me to invite so and so to a meeting or whatever, misspells the name, gives no company that that person is associated with, and expects me to magically google their information. Why don't I know who Dana <lastname> is? Why don't I care? I can't stand my boss. She is going out of the country to go to a family event and acts like I am an evil lazy person because SHE keeps going out of town (she was in LA last week) and can't get her work done. Don't cry to me about your inbox, lady. I have no sympathy. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 Lol B_O...such an interesting story to read about your boss I think in another 2 days I will have a similar story to say, my yearly appraisal is due and I saw one instruction on company intrantet that if your manager does not do you appraisal by 10th March you would get a defualt value by the system.So if he does not do, I get a lower value and if he does he would still give me lower value. I hate this ...more later Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts