When you think your boss is hot...

[SherryEast]

I was called in to take a new position and so since I was working remotely, I had not met my bosses. One of them, the owner, is not perfect looking yet his body is in great shape, he's smart and he's funny. He obviously thinks highly enough of me to offer me this promotion. He also did loads of bragging when I sat down with him which might indicate he likes me, too. The thing is, this all feels like a bit much for various other reasons and some part of me is wondering if I should say no to the job to avoid this "I'm insanely attracted to him and it makes me nervous" teenage nonsense! lol!

 

Now let's be serious... how can I do this? I can't UNLIKE him as if it were on Facebook! lol!

[jen1447]

You sound like you don't really want to unlike him, facebook or otherwise.

[jen1447]

You sound like you don't really want to unlike him, facebook or otherwise.

[SherryEast]

Not at all, but I find myself wishing the whole work thing was just OFF the table.

[jen1447]

Well you can always turn down the promotion but I wouldn't try to convince yourself you're not attracted to him or anything like that. It always seems a bit dehumanizing to me when ppl try that and it never seems to work anyway - suppressing your feelings isn't really being rid of them, and eventually they come out pretty emphatically.

[SherryEast]

You're right, and I think the thing is one bad ass can always identify another - I think we have a lot in common lol!!

[jen1447]

Right on.

[SherryEast]

I did finally meet him, I think it was about a week ago and yes, he's hot in person. But the thing is, since this is a work thing, of course I have to keep it in check (lmao!) which is NOT easy. Note that I am used to working for myself, so the having a boss thing is an adjustment for me.

 

Anyway, he said some things to make me laugh, did some bragging, too, all which probably mean he likes me. That said, in a recent call with the guy I'm replacing, he slips and tells me the boss is having a kid with some chick in another country, hahaha!!! But I can't say that I know that.

 

Omg, I guess he gets around!

 

So I got this tight little black skirt, blouse and high heels - outfit is ready for my next visit

 

And I was only mildly inappropriate... I sent him a friend request on Facebook, lol

[SerCay]

You don't sound like this is a worry for you at all you actually want to go for it!!

 

Hahaha I know the feeling...good luck!

 

Just want to give you a tip...it might end up very very very messed up.

This is your source of income....tread carefully.

[SherryEast]

You don't sound like this is a worry for you at all you actually want to go for it!!

 

Hahaha I know the feeling...good luck!

 

Just want to give you a tip...it might end up very very very messed up.

This is your source of income....tread carefully.

 

I do wanna go for it, but yes, of course it's a concern re. income. Because this offer includes me relocating and giving up my freelance income - so this would then make me completely dependent on this job.

[jen1447]

I thought you were trying to find ways to avoid this ....did I misunderstand or did sth change?

[SherryEast]

I thought you were trying to find ways to avoid this ....did I misunderstand or did sth change?

 

I'm confused!! lol

[jen1447]

I'm confused!! lol

 

Well be careful at least GF. A little fun and intrigue's all well and good but you don't want to blow up the job before it starts.

[SherryEast]

Well be careful at least GF. A little fun and intrigue's all well and good but you don't want to blow up the job before it starts.

 

Yes exactly and I can't decide if I should look at other offers as that would mean I would stop working with him altogether... and I don't wanna do that either. Hmmm.

[SherryEast]

So here's the latest update and I'm kinda wondering what's up with this... I spoke to my supervisor (not the boss, whom I think is hot) and was notified that the boss wanted me to come and see them again this week, of course this would be so that we could move forward with their offer and get more specific.

 

Mind you, this man is puzzling me, because my supervisor, we spoke today, and he was also supposed to be there at this meeting/2nd interview tomorrow, but he says "He (the boss) always kind of wants me around for these things."

 

I said, "I'd imagine it's because he relies on your judgement after all of these years."

 

So then he goes on with something along the lines of he doesn't want to be alone with me...

 

???

 

Why?

 

Look, I was minding my own business, working for them remotely for the last year - It was THEIR idea to bark up my tree with all of this and apparently this man, although he would NOT speak to me, was ALWAYS quietly keeping a very close eye on me, resulting in this offer.

 

I just don't get it...

 

And for whatever reason he doesn't want to be 'alone' with me in an office full of other damn people, well since my supervisor WON'T be there tomorrow, then why the hell don't we just cover it in a phone call?

 

Oh well whoever has any advice, thank you in advance.

[Scarlett.O'hara]

I think the supervisor has given you a subtle warning here. The fact that the boss told his colleague that he doesn't want to be left alone with you means that he is concerned about his reputation and any possible inappropriate behavior that might put him in an uncomfortable position.

 

Perhaps your desire for him is more obvious than you thought? I can understand why a man in his position might also find it awkward to receive friends requests from staff who he doesn't know very well.

 

Try and look at it from his perspective. He is a boss of a company with a partner and a baby on the way. Do you really think he would jeopardize all of that for a fling? It doesn't sound like it.

 

It really isn't worth risking a good job opportunity or your reputation just because you find your boss attractive.

[SherryEast]

Agree, this is useful, and basically it's not just this... I think overall his tendency is to drag things out; he also made comments at our first meeting regarding staff in another location and he seems to like and enjoy keeping people in the dark.

 

Now this isn't my business, it's not my company, these are his choices and if I accept, then I have to simply respect them. That said, I've worked for myself for a number of years, and their work has been P/T work being done remotely - so me overall adjusting to having a boss - I'm not used to it. I don't know if I'm expressing this in the manner that truly reveals where I'm coming from, so let me add that I think he enjoys jerking people around. And that's NOT attractive.

 

And given that my supervisor said he tends to do this, not want to have these hiring meetings alone, and describing him as 'always elusive,' then maybe it's not specifically just ME?

 

The thing is, for me to relocate, stop taking all of my other work, I'm making some major changes here; so putting the silly attraction thing aside, I am generally VERY business oriented, and I don't spin my wheels for anybody... but that they have a major crisis (or two, or three) unfolding there, I've extended a lot of patience, and much understanding.

 

Truth be told, there are two other offers locally... I could have easily pursued them. I did not whatsoever, this was me being respectful, giving them the first option.

 

Overall, I think I'm just not a person who's comfortable giving anyone else so much the upper hand, yet it seems to be very much what he demands.

[jen1447]

Eh, whatever the case it's starting to sound like drama or games, it'd turn me right off pretty much. If you like the intrigue tho, just make sure you stay on top.

[SherryEast]

You won't believe how WELL things went today, pretty funny. But yeah, last night I was getting annoyed, but this morning, well, he had some serious drama unfolding and I realized that if it were me in his shoes, my head would be up my ass, too.

 

And so, my next thought was under the circumstances, it was up to me to take charge, take the lead, and do something clear headed thinking for him.

 

I emailed both my supervisor and my boss, explaining that I was truly looking forward to the in person meeting; however, given this is 5 hour trip both ways, which was going to cost them a pretty penny, might we not be more efficient to simply hold a conference call instead? Of course, I'd come if they wanted me to.

 

The boss agreed, said that I was right. We set up the call for 4PM.

 

It turns out that not only did he agree to this conference call, but he also agreed to ALL of my prior suggestions of how we should handle this transition and in what order things had to be done - great!!

 

The money offered was fine, and now, here's the other part... back to that flirting thing.

 

He went on and on, "I have not been this excited about working with someone in years - I think that you are absolutely amazing on so many levels. "

 

The compliments did not stop, and even as to where I should find a place to live, he's protective of me, "I can't have you just rushing to just take any place, because I want you to be safe - so check in with us so we can tell you for sure it it's a good part of town, or not."

 

He then also went on to explain (I didn't ask) that he was hesitant only because he wanted to be certain this was right for all of us, and with the relocating, I'd be making a big change. And since I was patient, to him, this meant a lot.

 

Anyway, I'm just glad that they seem to be open and accepting of me not being mirco-managed, encouraging me to keep on taking the lead, etc.

 

Other good news, he's leaving the country soon for one month, lol, and he said he'd tell me more about that 'soon enough,' but I already know that's because of the baby hahaha!!

 

But that's good for me because I can just focus on my work, and in general, he's NOT a guy who's there all the time anyway, so it's not going to be a problem

 

Later on, my supervisor called me, the boss was gone. He said that things were all looking great, because 'He (boss) can be scattered and slow to make decisions at times, but you're doing a great job already of handling him."

[Moxie Lady]

You sound like you don't really want to unlike him, facebook or otherwise.

 

I have read a bunch of your posts and the only thing you ever seem to be concered about is sex, sex, and more sex. Do you have anything else in your life?

 

I also did a reverse search on your photo avatar, and that isn't you, not if you really live in the US. That avatar photo comes up with someone who lives in Russia, and the background confirms it. That isn't you.

[jen1447]

I have read a bunch of your posts and the only thing you ever seem to be concered about is sex, sex, and more sex. Do you have anything else in your life?

 

I also did a reverse search on your photo avatar, and that isn't you, not if you really live in the US. That avatar photo comes up with someone who lives in Russia, and the background confirms it. That isn't you.

 

Well that was rude, considering this thread isn't about me. And I wasn't even suggesting "sex, sex and more sex" in the post you quoted. If you don't like me, I'm not sure why you don't just ignore me.

 

@Sherry, I'd be careful with this protective angle thing, bc it suggests a certain level of possessiveness that could put you in a potential bind professionally if you start mixing business and pleasure. (He'd be sorta entitled to "look out for you" if you were in a relationship of sorts, but despite how caring it sounds professionally, it's not really his place to look out for your welfare outside work.)

[Cherryz]

Hm, just smh reading this topic, i even thougth a minute that i wasnt reading it rigth.

 

Its looked also like you wasnt giving us all the information we needed to know.

 

So you got promoted, but you kind of liked the boss already before even know him in person.....?

Once you sit on table with him you sure now he is cute, you like him, you ready to put a tight shirt on and short skirt for your next workday.

Then you already looking him up on fb and sending him friend-request.

First thing you know you hear from your manger he dont want to be alone with you?

 

Wow, this is not a small thing.

Reading your topic it ddnt sound like you was talking about work or something where you should be professional about it. But more like someone you liked at the bar.

Its a work environment, You shouldn't be like this all over the place.

Talking about how hot he is , adding him on facebook and stuff.

Im sure your behavior is showing also at work same as you are riding here.

And you will lose the respect of others easily and not taken serious if you dont man up and change your behavior.

 

Your boss clearly is not amuse by your needy- messy behavior and see that you this messy type of person that trys to put him in difficult position as a man and also as a boss.

This should be a virtual punch for you to change your whole behavior and thinking at work.

ANd act professional. And stop this action on him , before you lose your job.

 

You are not there to find a man or to mess with coworkers and bosses or break homes.

You are there to work. Be a professional.

 

This was loud and clear a warning to you. Not even sugar couted! And im afraid the next step will be you getting fired!

 

It happen that people like others at work. But you just dont react on that. But suppress it, and ignore it, and specially if you know the person is not single. And if its to hard for you, you can ask to work at a other department where you wont be dealing with the person directly, or change job.

 

If you see this not the place for you , dont stay.

Beside, know that whatever it is, you on the losing end.

Specially if you are all over the place acting needy.

People may even not believe you if happen that some one act inappropriate with you if you always all over the place for male attention.

[stillafool]

Is your boss married and expecting a baby?

[jen1447]

Is your boss married and expecting a baby?

 

Not exactly.

 

Anyway, he said some things to make me laugh, did some bragging, too, all which probably mean he likes me. That said, in a recent call with the guy I'm replacing, he slips and tells me the boss is having a kid with some chick in another country, hahaha!!! But I can't say that I know that.