Facebook, work and aquaintences

[LoveRefreshed]

Socially, I'm a bit of a character. People always remember me, I'm always the life of a party, and I am always having fun. I speak my mind, I'm opinionated on society, politics, and science.

 

I'm very pro-drug for experimention, obviously for those who are adequately prepared and matured, i.e. 30 year old tripping on acid , 12 year old smoking weed D:

 

I will post on this about facebook (not in a way that is lewd, but more defending marijuana legislation against people I know who drink, for example) or commenting on political things in a way that I do in my private and personal life.

 

I keep facebook set to friends only, I have privacy settings set pretty high to keep sure that the people who read my things know who I am and want to have a conversation with me about it.

 

I don't hide who I am or how I feel about things there or in person, but with tact and within reason, I will discuss my opinions at work but in a way not like facebook.

 

Now, this guy at work who seemingly must have recognized me somehow just added me on facebook. He's related to one of my buddies and now just curious about how people manage these things.

 

I don't want to look like an ******* at work and be unapproachable, but I don't want to let someone have a gander at my private life who I don't know would make the cut as someone I'd want to discuss my opinions and views with. Further, my company has a no weed policy and I'm a smoker, so I don't want people to know that either.

 

I just wish people around me had a filter for acceptable times to add friends on facebook. Or in general, that just because we work at the same place doesn't mean I like you by default. It's annoying as all get out.

[jen1447]

If you're asking for advice, I'd just ignore the friend request. Don't accept it or deny it. If he asks, just play dumb like you never got it, and if he sends it again, same. Eventually he should get the message lol.

 

Normally I wouldn't advocate anything less than being direct for social things like this but social media has created an environment of intrusiveness where bscly anybody can try to be your 'friend,' and it's really not incumbent upon you to play ball.

[whichwayisup]

Delete the friend request and don't feel bad about it.

 

Also, remember what you put out on FB isn't as private as you think so if you want certain things in your life private don't discuss at all on social media.

[introverted1]

Another option is to accept the friend request and add the guy to your "acquaintances" list. You can then set your posts to be visible to "friends except acquaintances." He'll just think you're a boring guy who doesn't post to FB much.

[truth_seeker]

This is a tough one. If you don't accept there could be consequences... if you do accept there could be consequences... I would go along with Jen's advice and just leave it open-ended. Give it a month and if you get to know this person more, and feel comfortable, then you can accept.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Just delete the request. I have a 'no Facebook friends from work' rule, in my job. I have a blanket rule not to add anybody as I like to keep my work and home life separate.

 

However, I feel you should always treat Facebook as though it's public, while being careful with your security settings, it's really not difficult for any of the people on your friends list to screen shot or share stuff from your page to people outside of that circle, and you may be sure they never would but you still never know, especially if you have say, more than ten super close friends and family on there. Be very careful posting anything you wouldn't want work to see, don't feel complacent because you're careful about who you add.

 

And make sure you never list your employer on your page. In most organisations, the second you do that you're seen as representing the company. So keep your work section blank. I also recommend using a pseudonym so that people can't search you from your real name.

 

Never feel bad about declining a request or as though you're obligated to accept. If this person asks about it just play dumb and say you haven't seen it, be breezy, 'oh I tend not to have people from work on there anyway'.

[AMJ]

I've seen so many people wind up in trouble at work over Facebook. Badmouthing their boss, another coworker, or posting photos of vacation while they called out sick, having relationships with other coworkers...it's honestly just not worth the trouble. Ignore his request. How often do people say "Hey, why didn't you accept my friend request?" anyway.

Lots of my Facebook friends are current or former coworkers, sure, but only because we became friends outside of work as well. I have no problem telling people at work that my personal life is personal, or even "Oh you know, I never really use Facebook. Sorry".