Northwestern1011 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I've been at my current job 6 months. It wasn't easy getting this job. I'm not really "friends" with anyone I work with, except maybe one older lady who's really good to me. I work in close contact with these people all day, 40hrs a week. This particular co worker is applying for a new position within our company, with better pay. I'm excited for her. She's nervous because she doesn't have a degree. I volunteered to be one of her recommenders if need be. The position closes in a few weeks. She didn't have my cell phone number, so she texted one of our other coworkers--who does have my number--last night to ask if she could have my cell phone number. The coworker kept asking why she needed it. And she told her. Then it turns out...the OTHER coworker's husband is applying for the same job. So now that coworker's knows I'm endorsing our coworker, who's competing against her husband for the same job. I had no idea the husband or anyone related to anyone in uor department was applying for this job. Now I'm in a bad spot. The coworker with the husband is in a position higher up than me, and if she hates me work every day will really suck. And she could get me fired. And she's tight with my other coworkers. So is basically be left in an office where everyone hates me and the one person I help moves on to a better job. But if I tell the person I would recommend for that I won't do it anymore, she'll hate me too. What do I do? I'm so torn Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Since you already told the co-worker you will endorse her, do that. If the other woman whose husband is up for the position has the audacity to say anything tell her point blank you didn't know that her husband was in the running but more importantly the woman you are endorsing asked for your help while the husband did not. I doubt the woman superior will say a word. She probably doesn't think her subordinate's recommendation carries much weight anyway. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 This doesn't sound like such a dire situation to me. I understand your trepidation, but you've really done nothing wrong. As you said, you had no idea that coworker #2's husband is applying for the same job, so you advocating for coworker #1 is not some kind of personal affront to coworker #2. If she had any good sense at all she'd understand that. Do these people seem to have a habit of being petty? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Northwestern1011 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 This doesn't sound like such a dire situation to me. I understand your trepidation, but you've really done nothing wrong. As you said, you had no idea that coworker #2's husband is applying for the same job, so you advocating for coworker #1 is not some kind of personal affront to coworker #2. If she had any good sense at all she'd understand that. Do these people seem to have a habit of being petty? Yes, the one with the husband has a habit of being petty and holding grudges. And like I said, this person if she hates me can make my life uncomfortable until I quit (and I NEED this job--this is how I'm affording grad school, and surviving), or get me fired. This morning, before I figured out what was going on, she was giving me one word answers. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Yes, the one with the husband has a habit of being petty and holding grudges. And like I said, this person if she hates me can make my life uncomfortable until I quit (and I NEED this job--this is how I'm affording grad school, and surviving), or get me fired. This morning, before I figured out what was going on, she was giving me one word answers. Well, you can't really do anything about how she feels about you. Just be as professional and above-board as possible. I doubt she'd so far as to try and get you fired (again, you did nothing wrong), and if she tried something like that, hopefully you've got an HR department that can step in. There generally needs to be a proper reason to fire someone other than, "she tried to help a coworker get a position my husband was trying to get, too," so if she does try to can you for some BS reason, you have some recourse. It sucks, but just try and keep things professional and breezy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Northwestern1011 Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 We do have HR, but it's more the day to day discomfort I'm worried about. The coworker applying for the position can get other references--who have worked with her longer. Should I just tell her I don't feel comfortable being in the middle? Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I think that's up to you. I would hate for you to base this decision on the possible attitude problems of this other coworker. But then again, I'm not the one who has to work there. Link to post Share on other sites
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