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Business women - how do you network with men?


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Bendy_willow

Any corporate/business women here in LS who can give me tips on how to appropriately network with men? ESPECIALLY men who you feel like they might be attracted to you or perhaps their motives aren't too clear. I'm wondering if there is really a change in dynamic for when opposite sexes are networking. I just don't want to be naive.

 

Is it possible to keep the professional relationship or is it better to walk away? How do you set the guidelines?

 

One last thing - is being an attractive woman in the business world a blessing or a curse? Someone told me to not be too attractive in the workplace. I honestly strive for the classic look.

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Any corporate/business women here in LS who can give me tips on how to appropriately network with men? ESPECIALLY men who you feel like they might be attracted to you or perhaps their motives aren't too clear. I'm wondering if there is really a change in dynamic for when opposite sexes are networking. I just don't want to be naive.

 

Yeah there is a bit of a "change in dynamic" - you have to be more aware, more careful with these men, although outwardly there must be no difference in the way you treat them and the way you treat others you network with. You're wise to be cognizant of this difference. Don't hold it against them (they're just being men!) but you don't have to indulge it either.

 

If you're still working (or otherwise interacting) with them, always be respectful to them (like you are with everybody else!), look 'em straight in the eye and be direct, always stay focused on the work, smile / remain professionally approachable. (It's a delicate dance!) If they try to branch off into personal subjects, and that makes you uncomfortable, either steer the conversation (or direction of the interaction) back onto the work or just briskly go about your business - but always do it kindly and politely! Be nice to everybody... because you just never know.

 

If you're no longer working with them and you're wondering whether to stay in touch with them, well, this is where I get completely selfish and cold. If it would benefit me to stay in touch with them, I send them an invite to my professional profile on LinkedIn. If not, I make no effort to stay connected with them, and even "archive" their requests to connect. No communication with them whatsoever.

 

Is it possible to keep the professional relationship or is it better to walk away? How do you set the guidelines?

 

Yes absolutely it's possible to stay professional. Stay cool, calm, busy, and focused on the work. Unless he's a total creep, of course - in which case I RUN away. Done with that!

 

One last thing - is being an attractive woman in the business world a blessing or a curse? Someone told me to not be too attractive in the workplace. I honestly strive for the classic look.

 

It's a little bit of both, I'm afraid. Again, your best bet is to be nice to everybody - always say hello / acknowledge people respectfully. You've got some room to pick & choose who you engage with, but always apply kindness in everything you do.

 

My translation of the advice "not to be too attractive in the workplace" = don't dress or act like a slut. :D The classic look is good. That said, there is no such thing as being "too attractive" - it's always a huge advantage if you play it right.

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Business networking is not about sex or flirting. It's about your product or service. Dress professionally, preferably in a suit but at least in a jacket with pockets. Your business cards go in your right pocket for easy access. The cards you receive from others go in your left. Carry yourself with dignity & purpose. Develop a firm handshake. Most women can't shake hands properly & do the limp thing or try to kiss people hello. No No No. Handshake from 1-2 feet away. Understand the sociology behind sales -- the buyer sets the social distance. For some you need to be closer; others farther back. You keep the topics professional & focused on business.

 

 

If you want to make it social, you can flirt but understand those are cross purposes. I met DH at a business networking event. We were both so smitten neither one of developed any leads from that event because we just kept gazing into each other's eyes.

 

 

If anybody crosses boundaries you don't want crossed, gently steer the topic back to business. If they don't take the hint, walk away. It's as simple as that. Life's too short. If they are really over the top firmly but politely tell that that their attentions are unwanted & their behavior is unprofessional. If that still doesn't work, call their employer.

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Any corporate/business women here in LS who can give me tips on how to appropriately network with men? ESPECIALLY men who you feel like they might be attracted to you or perhaps their motives aren't too clear. I'm wondering if there is really a change in dynamic for when opposite sexes are networking. I just don't want to be naive.

 

Is it possible to keep the professional relationship or is it better to walk away? How do you set the guidelines?

 

One last thing - is being an attractive woman in the business world a blessing or a curse? Someone told me to not be too attractive in the workplace. I honestly strive for the classic look.

 

I agree with a lot that OpenBook stated. I am an executive in a fairly male dominated industry so most of my networking is with men. I tend to network with them at industry or field related functions, I keep it very professional, and I think it is helpful I have more of a stand offish persona than a warm and bubbly one. But I am not in sales or a field that requires me to be so.

 

I stay aware of my interactions, behavior, and just assume to err more on a cooler side. I try and stay on just professional topics and have had my spouse at conferences with me as he is a dynamic individual.

 

You can't control other people's behavior, so I just focus on mine and go from there.

 

Oh, and I do not hug, male or female, I am not into having people in my personal space, and I initiate the handshake. I am a big fan of it.

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thefooloftheyear

As a guy thats been in business for a long time, its pretty normal to interact with women who may own businesses or represent a business in a managerial or sales capacity...

 

I try my best to make them feel as comfortable as possible by not saying or doing anything that could be misinterpreted...I do know guys who own businesses and are quite patronizing and sexist to women..but they aren't that common...I keep it all on the level and I even do stuff like don't close the door when in a meeting and don't get anywhere near that persons personal space..

 

 

I think you will find most guys are pretty much going to be the same way...You may encounter some d-bags, but I really dont think its that common..

 

 

TFY

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  • 2 weeks later...

Exactly in the same way as I network with women. Honestly, at least for me the act of business networking is so anti-sexual that I believe my whole body language shows it.

 

I'm very puzzled when I hear people saying not to be attractive at work. What is meant by "attractive"? I think it is not a secret that successful people are also usually very attractive - e.g. power look. If by attractive someone thinks "sexy": I think this is totally out of place at work and will bring lack of respect at best. So I usually pull my best outfits for work, but they are never too revealing, overdone with accessories, flashy jewelry or make up etc (haha, never wear such outfits anyway, even for parties because I find it repulsive to be quite honest).

 

 

Any corporate/business women here in LS who can give me tips on how to appropriately network with men? ESPECIALLY men who you feel like they might be attracted to you or perhaps their motives aren't too clear. I'm wondering if there is really a change in dynamic for when opposite sexes are networking. I just don't want to be naive.

 

Is it possible to keep the professional relationship or is it better to walk away? How do you set the guidelines?

 

One last thing - is being an attractive woman in the business world a blessing or a curse? Someone told me to not be too attractive in the workplace. I honestly strive for the classic look.

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