sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone, A couple years ago this guy and I at work flirted a lot. His relationship at the time was likely to end with how much arguing and breaking up they had been doing. He had been hard core flirting with me at the end of it. Then when their relationship ended he wanted nothing to do with me. Made things awkward, part of the reason why I quit working there because we worked the same shift. Background on me: First serious relationship had broken up with me that prior summer. I was seriously still hurting from it. I had become bitter at that point and was hard for me to be happy so I did say some unkind words towards co-worker then. This guy for whatever reason changed his number, hid his email from the search system, etc. I never got the chance to apologize to him properly. I am 99% sure I'm the reason he changed his number. What do I do when I see him at the hospital where I used to work? This is not a huge hospital but I am about to do clinicals there. I will more than likely being doing one shift there a week in the spring for clinicals. How do I approach this? In January I started going back to church. People have seen nearly a 180 degree turn in my personality and confidence. Confidence was really low when co-worker and I were "flirting". This is starting to stress me out as I don't want to bring personal stuff into my medical program education. I'm afraid he'll make me appear as if I'm psycho or something which could have serious issues with job employment which is coming up in a couple of months. Edited September 27, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 If you see him, just nod and smile. No reason to make this into a huge deal unless he chooses to. Be professional and act like it never happened. If you were truly terrible to him and wish to apologise then if you ever get chance to speak to him in person alone again, you can do, but if it's just typical breakup stuff and drama then honestly, I'd just forget about it all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 We never really dated. He was so messed up from his last relationship. I just hate certain people can't forget things. We were really good friends before. Just don't see how someone can go from being a good friend to not good friend. Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 That's life sadly, happens all the time. Thing I've noticed is usually when you say 'really good friend', but you've only known each other a little while (i.e. not years) and you've had some romantic stuff going on, you're mistaking friendship for attraction and lust. I've had guys I thought I was in love with fall out of my life once things ended romantically, and you wonder how someone you spent so much time with can suddenly evaporate completely. It's what happens when you stop seeing someone, nine times out of ten! Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 you said it's been a couple of years. and that you never even dated. you both should have moved on completely from anything in the past by this point. he really shouldn't even be entering your thoughts. i'd stay far away from him and far away from any potential friendship. he can only say things, or get more info. about you if you allow it, or if you gravitate towards him again. the less he knows about the 'new' you the better off you'll be at the job. a very simple hello and nothing more should be more than enough, and keep your private life private - don't share with new co-workers anything about your past interactions w/him. it should be a fresh start for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) You'd think but he went as far as changing his numbers and hiding his contact at work. Must be guilty of something if he had to make such a big deal out of nothing. Edited September 27, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) If you see him, just nod and smile. No reason to make this into a huge deal unless he chooses to. Be professional and act like it never happened. If you were truly terrible to him and wish to apologise then if you ever get chance to speak to him in person alone again, you can do, but if it's just typical breakup stuff and drama then honestly, I'd just forget about it all. Looking back I probably did view as crazy to him. However I was getting over a broken heart and was probably more vulnerable then I should have been. Someone who was going through the same thing should have had more compassion then to dub me crazy and change his contact info. Edited September 27, 2015 by sportygirl89 Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 Must be guilty of something if he had to make such a big deal out of nothing. OP, you're the one making a big deal of nothing. After a couple years he's surely forgotten about you - not that there was ever anything to remember. You might not even run into him. "Approach"??? There is nothing to approach. You don't even have to speak with him unless it's mandatory business. Don't borrow trouble. Stop the fretting and "what ifs". Do your job, live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 OP, you're the one making a big deal of nothing. After a couple years he's surely forgotten about you - not that there was ever anything to remember. You might not even run into him. "Approach"??? There is nothing to approach. You don't even have to speak with him unless it's mandatory business. Don't borrow trouble. Stop the fretting and "what ifs". Do your job, live your life. If he wasn't making a big deal then why did he change his number literally right after the incident. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 If he wasn't making a big deal then why did he change his number literally right after the incident. I don’t know why he did what he did and neither does anyone else. My guess would be he didn’t want any contact with you and that’s probably still the case. That was YEARS ago. As someonbe else said he should not even be entering your thoughts. You can speculate and obsess about this guy or do your job and go on with your life. The choice is yours. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
newmoon Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 You'd think but he went as far as changing his numbers and hiding his contact at work. Must be guilty of something if he had to make such a big deal out of nothing. i think that is his way of telling you to leave him alone and not contact him. it sounds like he was doing the healthy thing and wanted you out of his life. is there a reason you still care about him? you said you made a lot of changes to yourself and maybe you think the 'new' you has a shot w/him? when we change ourselves we often want the person who dumped us or didn't want us to notice. maybe you're after his attention again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 27, 2015 Author Share Posted September 27, 2015 No. Good grief you all are being mean at this point. I get graded for clinical. If I don't get a certain grade for clinical they can fail us. Professionalism is an area on the form but no one would understand that unless in the medical field themselves. Go pick on someone else if you are putting the blame game on me. All I asked was how to handle running into him as I have NO INTEREST in him. I honestly thought he was gay at first. Bottom line I don't want his maturity level to affect my grade. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 (edited) No. Good grief you all are being mean at this point. I get graded for clinical. If I don't get a certain grade for clinical they can fail us. Professionalism is an area on the form but no one would understand that unless in the medical field themselves. Go pick on someone else if you are putting the blame game on me. All I asked was how to handle running into him as I have NO INTEREST in him. I honestly thought he was gay at first. Bottom line I don't want his maturity level to affect my grade. So to you telling you the truth, and telling you things you don't want to hear is "being mean"? Oh, puhleeze. You are obsessing about some guy who you say flirted with you YEARS ago, had a girlfriend, stopped talking to you, hasn't contacted you in YEARS, yet now you suddenly say you thought he was gay. That makes no sense. Neither does your comment about going to church. Are you sure you're even going to see him? You're "stressing" about something that might/might not even happen NEXT SPRING!? Once again, as someone already said, you shouldn't even be thinking about him. Is HE going to have any input into your grade? I guarantee he's not obsessing about YOU. What is there to "handle"? Nothing. Edited September 27, 2015 by applej4 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted September 27, 2015 Share Posted September 27, 2015 It could be because of you but could also be because of his ex, or because he changed providers. My ex could be thinking I changed phones because of him, when in truth is my last company owned my cell and when I left I had to get a new #. You'll probably will never know and it doesn't matter. As someone said, just nod politely that's all. If he wasn't making a big deal then why did he change his number literally right after the incident. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sportygirl89 Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 So to you telling you the truth, and telling you things you don't want to hear is "being mean"? Oh, puhleeze. You are obsessing about some guy who you say flirted with you YEARS ago, had a girlfriend, stopped talking to you, hasn't contacted you in YEARS, yet now you suddenly say you thought he was gay. That makes no sense. Neither does your comment about going to church. Are you sure you're even going to see him? You're "stressing" about something that might/might not even happen NEXT SPRING!? Once again, as someone already said, you shouldn't even be thinking about him. Is HE going to have any input into your grade? I guarantee he's not obsessing about YOU. What is there to "handle"? Nothing. Good grief go climb up someone else. Yes people have said they have noticed quite a difference of me changing after having gone to church for the last 9 months. I may not be perfect but at least I wouldn't be badgering someone about a situation that is pretty uncomfortable for them. There is 100% certain I do not have a thing for him. I found out what a jerk he was to knock me down even more at my lowest point. I'm not listening to someone who doesn't even know me. I just asked for advice not your bullying tactic. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) I just asked for advice And again here it is: Don't borrow trouble. Stop fretting. Stop thinking about this guy. Do your job. Live your life. Edited September 28, 2015 by applej4 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hey... calm down. OP has the right to be anxious about meeting someone who pissed her off and disappointed her in the past, and come here for advice. You're not in her shoes to know how she feels. Even if it seems silly to you. So to you telling you the truth, and telling you things you don't want to hear is "being mean"? Oh, puhleeze. You are obsessing about some guy who you say flirted with you YEARS ago, had a girlfriend, stopped talking to you, hasn't contacted you in YEARS, yet now you suddenly say you thought he was gay. That makes no sense. Neither does your comment about going to church. Are you sure you're even going to see him? You're "stressing" about something that might/might not even happen NEXT SPRING!? Once again, as someone already said, you shouldn't even be thinking about him. Is HE going to have any input into your grade? I guarantee he's not obsessing about YOU. What is there to "handle"? Nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 Hey... calm down. OP has the right to be anxious about meeting someone who pissed her off and disappointed her in the past, and come here for advice. You're not in her shoes to know how she feels. Even if it seems silly to you. Do you hear yourself? OP feels anxious and you're telling ME to calm down. Get a grip, edgy girl. No, I'm not in her shoes...that's rather obvious. Yes, she says came here for advice and I gave it to her but she doesn't like ANY of the advice the meanies have given her. Link to post Share on other sites
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